“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” ― Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
Zimbardo
identified five key approaches to time perspective. These are:
The
‘past-negative’ type. You focus on negative personal experiences that still
have the power to upset you. This can lead to feelings of bitterness and
regret. The mind does not cover the pain with scar tissue, so the pain is still
raw.
The
‘past-positive’ type. You take a nostalgic view of the past and stay in very
close contact with your family. You tend to have happy relationships, but the
downside is a cautious, “better safe than sorry” approach which may hold you
back. The wound remains and over time you are protected by the scar tissue, and
you can bear the pain with grace.
The ‘present-hedonistic’
type. You are dominated by pleasure-seeking impulses, and are reluctant to
postpone feeling good for the sake of greater gain later. You are popular but
tend to have a less healthy lifestyle and take more risks. The pain is driven
away by time and your ability to ignore the event that caused you the pain.
The
‘present-fatalistic’ type. You aren’t enjoying the present but feel trapped in
it, unable to change the inevitability of the future. This sense of
powerlessness can lead to anxiety, depression and risk-taking. The sense of powerlessness
causes them to rip off the scars that are being formed to protect them from the
pain.
The
‘future-focused’ type. You are highly ambitious, focused on goals, and big on
making ‘to do’ lists. You tend to feel a nagging sense of urgency that can
create stress for yourself and those around you. Your investment in the future
can come at the cost of close relationships and recreation time. The passage of
time and your ambition cause you to drive the pain underground so over time it
becomes dull and can be ignored.
All five types
come into play in our lives at some point, but there probably will be one or
two directions in which you are more focused. Identify these and you can start
developing a more flexible, healthier approach.
Balance and
positivity come from understanding our time perspective and finding positive and
healthy ways to appreciate the present, while living in the present and making
plans for our future. But how easily we time travel in our time perspective makes
a crucial difference to how well we do in life and how happy we are while we’re
living it.
