Empowered Age

In a previous post, I talked about people continue to want to work after they retire. Well since we live in an entrepreneurial society, where there is a need/want there will be those eager and willing to fill that need.

I came across the website Empowered Age on a blog I read called Retirement-Only the Beginning in a guest post.  The Guest Post was by Joseph Byrne, Founder and CEO of EmpoweredAge.com, a service that connects highly-skilled retirees to part-time or short-term consulting projects in various industries.

The concept is not a new one, but I think his approach is unique, his focus is clear and he has a good understanding of the concerns of Boomers. I know that there are many websites that cater to Boomers looking to work. These services offer part-time manual labour jobs and not many services that require a more consultative approach.

Empowered Age has a focus Boomers with highly skilled experience who can provide value to a growing firm. Many growing firms have projects or would love to start projects to help launch a new product, oversee a new office opening, or advise on a new sales strategy but they cannot afford the time or people to do these important tasks Empowered Age, can provide the skills and people needed who can help. In the final paragraph of his post, Mr Byrne says, “Whatever your idea of retirement may be, planning will be an important part. Whether that be financially, geographically, professionally, or socially, be aware to engage in activities that provide value to you. Look for opportunities that benefit your intellectual as well as your physical health. Wherever your journey takes you, we wish you health and success. If part-time consulting work is in that journey, Empowered Age will help you along the way. Visit us at Empowered Age for more information.”

So, I did, I like what how his site is set up and the simplicity of providing your information and some of the resources offered (there could be more, but what they have are interesting). Empowered Age is a service that appears to be only offered to those living in the United States, but I am sure there will be similar offerings in other countries where Boomers are retiring in large numbers. I look forward to the time someone in Canada offers this service.

Changes

Today I am responding to another challenge from Eugenia at BrewNSpew Her challenge was to write a five-line poem with the word changes in it. Here is my effort.

Heartache

Changes what I have

Changes what I want

Changes my beliefs, dreams and reality

My heart becomes a hazy shade of winter 

Bringing in New Blood

One of the realities of being our age, is that we lose life partners or our partners decide that they want to go on a different path then we do, and there is a parting of the ways. We are social creatures and so we, will after some time after a loss, seek out a new partner.

When we find a new romantic companion late in life, it’s a wonderful moment.  Romances late in life can provide a much-needed source of companionship and love that may be missing if the senior has lost a spouse or is going through their golden years alone.  But it’s common for children to go through some anxiety when they see dad or mom enjoying the company of another romance in their lives.  And getting the kids to accept your new girlfriend or boyfriend, especially if that romance is going to result in a wedding.

Part of your children’s resistance to you dating comes from anxiety about losing their parent which may be just as deep and lasting a grief as you had in losing your wife or husband.  It may seem strange but often it is the children of the marriage who go through the longest grief when a parent passes on.  You may have already moved along in your processing of that loss much more than they.  To children, the parents are a permanent institution and the idea that one of them would go away seems inconceivable.  And this feeling often survives well into adulthood.

So that is the first big adjustment your family has to make when they see you beginning to enjoy the company of the opposite sex.  They must be assured you are not going to replace mom or dad in their hearts and that this romance will never remove the love you cherish for that departed spouse.  To the children, that love must endure forever because it is the foundation of their concept of family which is a big part of their own identity as well, even though one parent may have passed away.

This is the next step in life that calls for you, the senior citizen and the wise old Grandma or Grandpa in the family mix to use some of that sensitivity and wisdom of your years to help your children and even grandchildren accept your new romance and evolve with you to a new phase of life.  If you have the chance as you begin a new relationship, the time to begin the acceptance process is before that friendship becomes a romance.

By sitting down with your children and discussing that this will happen, even before it happens, you begin the acceptance process.  In their minds and emotional systems, they begin to understand your need for companionship and for love and for romance.  You need that as much as they do.  So, you explain it to them.

Then as you begin to see a romantic interest, be open to the family about what you are doing.  Adult children can even get to the point that they will be your advisor and your cheerleaders as you enjoy a new era of dating and romance.  Once that area of life is open, then when you do “bring home the date to meet the family” it won’t be such a difficult thing. 

But by keeping the adult children always in the loop, they can talk with one another, agree that this is the best possible thing for you and even work to help the grandkids accept your new romance.  Before long, he or she will be able to come for dinner, join in the holidays and really become part of the family.  Just as you opened your heart when your kids were dating and finding new loves, you will teach your kids to open their hearts to so

Becoming Gandalf

In the classic books and in the movie series, The Lord of the Rings, Gandalf was the wise old wizard that guided the heroic party through to success.  While we don’t have real Gandalfs in our lives, you may be able to remember when you were young that wise elder statesman that you looked up to and revered because they were a source of wisdom and caring when you as a young person seemed to be continuously confused and afraid about what was happening to you in life.

As you enter your retirement, it’s a good time to reflect on how that elder in your young life served such a valuable function of helping and guiding you.  Perhaps your reason for being in the place of elder statesman in your family’s life that you too become revered and that you can serve them with wisdom, compassion and love.  So the question might be, how do you fill that role and “become revered” the way the Gandalf was?

You don’t have the magic that Gandalf had to help his young charges through their struggles.  Perhaps the first step of becoming the wise revered elder of your family is to see yourself in that role.  By creating a vision of a wise elder, perhaps using the model of who that person was in your youth, you give yourself a role to grow into.  Picture situations in which you were able to be there for your family and they would turn to you and get just the right advice for the hour.

One such situation might be at Christmas.  Late Christmas Eve, your grandchildren can climb up in your lap to take comfort from you being there for them.  It is this kind of sweet moment where they should be able to ask Grandpa or Grandma anything that troubles them.  You will want to bring the maximum amount of patience and love to that sweet time with your grandchild so he or she knows that Grandma or Grandpa is a font of endless patience and endless answers to their questions.

This is the way you become revered.  The psychological results of just that short time with you can be powerful in a young life.  Just knowing there is an elder in their lives who is always there, never too busy for them and with whom they can talk about anything and who will probably know the answer gives a child the confidence to face life with courage and calm.  That is a wonderful gift you give to your grandchildren and its something only you can give them that is a gift even their mom and dad cannot provide.

As you fill that role, your children and their spouses too will start to see you in the role of wise old Gandalf and someone they can always turn to.  When you were in the role of parent, they may have looked to your parents for that role.  But now that you are stepping into the senior role, you may get late night phone calls from adult children who just need a caring ear to listen and a soft loving voice, slightly deepened with age, to just assure them that they can handle the crisis and that they will be all right. 

It will take courage for you to not panic and to fill that roll of comforter and adviser but it’s a crucial role that only a grandparent can provide.  But probably the most important thing you can do to become the one they turn to when they need Grandpa or Grandma is to always be there.  This is harder than it seems. 

A friend of mine tells of a call he got from a teenage granddaughter at three in the morning.  She needed love, advice as well as emotional counseling.  And as dearly as that senior citizen needed his sleep, he was there for her and guided her through the crisis until she was sleeping peacefully in her bed.  And why was that child able to weather a crisis in her young life?  Because Grandpa was always there for her.  And if you make sure that there is no situation that your kids or grandchildren cannot interrupt to come to you for help, advice or comfort, you will capture a revered place in their hearts that will be yours to keep forever.