Caregivers and the Work Place

More and more businesses are facing a challenge and some decisions to be made. As the baby boom generation moves into retirement years and becomes elderly, the workers that make your business function so efficiently are going to have the additional demands placed on them of becoming the primary caregiver for an aging parent.

It’s easy to just shrug at this need in your employee population but just as the demands of parenting can have a huge impact on the workplace, the personal needs of your employees to take care of their aging parents will have an impact on the office and the productivity of your business.

Business can no longer be cavalier and declare, “Well they can just quit and we can find new employees.” The brutal truth is that skilled, trained and mature employees don’t, as the day, grow on trees. With the workforce shrinking, it’s foolish to think that if you have a solid and hard-working employee who knows his job and does good work for your business, that employee can’t just be replaced with a kid right out of school.

The cost to your business can be devastating if you have a policy of running off good, hardworking and smart employees because they are becoming caregivers in their personal lives and replacing them with younger, unskilled employees who are less informed about the ways of business. The costs of training and the learning curve of the job alone will easily be more than any costs of accommodating existing employees. Moreover, you cannot just replace judgment, relationships, market savvy and wisdom which many of the employees in the age bracket bring to your business.

So how do you accommodate the needs of this new group of caregivers who are beginning to become a regular part of your workforce? The first step is to understand what they are going through. These people are going to take care of their loved ones whether you are aware of it or not. So if you can partner with them to make them successful at home, they will work extra hard to make you successful in the marketplace.

Start with some seminars and brown bag lunches where people can come and share the demands they are going through as caregivers for elderly parents or loved ones. Invite everyone to these lunches because there will be many in your business who know that is coming up for them and want to learn all they can about what is ahead. By making an open discussion of elderly care issues part of the discussion at work, you are communicating that you want to help and not hinder what your employees are facing. And that will endear you to them and get you the reputation of being one of those “good employers” in town.

Not all employees who are caregivers will need accommodation all the time. If their parent’s needs are not that demanding, it will be more of an emotional adjustment than a demand on the schedule. But encourage each employee who is entering into a time of being the primary caregiver for their parent to communicate that to you both through meetings with the Human Resource department and to their boss as well.

There is a practical side to getting inside of what is going on with your employees. To your workers, they see you as family and feel more bonded to the workplace because you are concerned about their parents. But for you, the business will know in detail what is going on with that situation so you can anticipate if that worker will see sudden interruption come up at work and adjust schedules accordingly.

Be sensitive and be communicative with your employees and you can truly become their partner in dealing with this tough part of their lives. And in doing so, they will feel that you support them and their loyalty to the company will skyrocket. That loyalty will translate into better productivity and longevity in your workforce. That stability translates into a more efficient organization which is a more profitable organization. So in the long run, partnering with your caregivers in the workplace just makes good business sense.

Working Together for Working Out

We are tremendously health conscious. That means that we are, as a group highly aware of health issues and the need for plenty of exercises and a lifestyle that includes good diet as well. But there is a big difference between being health conscious and becoming active in a healthy lifestyle. Many times, we may be well aware of what we SHOULD do to be healthier so we can live a longer and healthier life but following through on those goals is much more difficult than just knowing about them.

This is why having a partner in working out and making healthy decisions can make all the difference in the world. We have seen a lot of changes to the marriage relationship occur over the years. This is not just because of women’s liberation. It also comes from huge changes to the way the work world functions as well as new parenting models and cultural shifts that have called for a real partnership in a marriage to cope with the new world we live in. That is why the marriage partner is the best possible choice for someone to encourage you along on your path to a healthier lifestyle.

This is a good reason when you do make that New Year’s resolution to start working out and exercising regularly that you don’t keep your decision under your hat. Share your goals of a healthier you with your spouse. Almost certainly you will discover that he or she also has wanted to start a regimen of exercise and a sensible diet but they also were hiding that from you. Why do we do that, even from our marriage partner?

Well, part of it is that once you commit to a program of exercise and losing weight and you tell someone about it, you are stuck with going through with it. You take away your backing out factor by giving someone else the opportunity to hold you accountable for your zeal later on when maybe sitting and watching TV is more appealing than hitting the track. But another part of it might be that what a good workout looks like to your spouse may not line up with how you want to exercise. So that independent spirit makes you want to go it alone rather than allow your spouse to hold that office in your life as your work out partner and accountability team member.

These are not very good reasons not to engage your spouse as a partner in a healthier lifestyle. Disclosing to them your intentions is actually the best thing you can do because if you “stick your neck out” and let him or her know what you want to do, you will be accountable to do that next week, next month and routinely throughout the year until you hit your goals. You will regret your decision when you feel your spouse is forcing you to go to the gym but you will celebrate your decision when you are coming home from the gym and you feel great from having a great workout.

Working as a team for a healthy lifestyle and weight loss is crucial when it comes to diet. Exercise is great and even if you don’t lose any weight, starting and continuing an exercise program is good for aging bones and muscles and improves stamina. You will be delighted when you actually can squat down to pick up something off the floor and stand up again without help after a few weeks of exercise.

But if you are going to seriously lose weight, you have to change your diet as well. And that is impossible to do unless the spouse is helping you. If both members of the marriage commit to a diet of healthy foods, eliminating deserts, chips, and soft drinks and making foods from fresh ingredients, then you can keep each other on track by only allowing those foods in the house.

This is good for both of you. And as you see the scale report that you are actually losing weight for the first time in many years, you will have someone to celebrate with that the program is working. Make it a healthy celebration but a joyful one because you both deserve it.

Things Grandparents Know

My generation seems gifted with perpetual youth. But we are also people of passion. From the moment my generation arrived on this earth, we seemed to be bringing a mission and a different vision for society than had existed before. This sense of knowledge and of vision accounts for the incredible drive we have shown throughout our adult lives which have resulted in changes to society so profound that life in America today only faintly resembles how we lived in the 50s and 60s.

Each era of life has brought its own challenges.  As parents, we were committed to having a different kind of relationship with our children. We were more hands-on, participatory and interactive with children in a much greater way than generations before. In a very real way, we as parents sought to be both parent and best friends to our children. The outcome has not always been positive but you do see a sense of family unity and emulation of parents in our children that is even more committed than the family model of the past because we viewed parenting as a mission and job one of our lives when we chose to have children.

As we move out of the parenting role, at least in terms of having youngsters at home, we now have an opportunity to define in our own terms what it means to be a grandparent. Becoming grandma and grandpa may be a bit difficult for a generation that has always fought the coming of ageing and resisted even adulthood much less old age. But if we embrace the concept of being the kindly and wise old grandparent and filling that role in the lives of our children and grandchildren, we can have an influence on another generation beyond them to pass along their insights and guidance in ways that only grandparents can do.

Children see grandma and grandpa in a different light. Naturally, they love them and love the opportunity to visit their grandparents if for no other reason than grandma always has something for them to do, that they may not have the opportunity to do at home. But sitting on granddads knee and hearing his stories or just enjoying his love and teasing is part of growing up that children cherish long into their adult years. And it is a time that we can embrace and thoroughly enjoy.

There was a great book out not long ago named “If I knew being a grandparent was this much fun, I would have done it first.” This amusing concept reflects that the joy of being grandpa and grandma to your children’s children is fulfilling in ways that even surpass the important role baby boomers had as parents. Children listen to their grandparents because they are wise and old and it gives them a sense of security to see that it’s possible to go through life successfully and still be full of life and fun even when old age is upon us. That is why children intuitively know that there are things grandparents know that they want to learn while on granddads lap and they cherish the lessons they are taught by a revered elder.

It’s good when we embrace this new role. Just as when we embraced parenthood, we threw themselves into the challenge with a passion that changed the definition of parenting for the better. So too, we can bring their passion, our sense of deep commitment and their love of family to the role of a grandparent and give their grandchildren the gift of a wonderful grandma and grandpa who not only always had love and fun for them but also always seemed to know the right answer.

Look to your time with your grandkids as a time to pass along the wisdom that 50-70 years of life has given you. While children need the guidance and knowledge of their parents, the role of teacher, disciplinarian and rules maker sometimes clouds the parent relationship. That is why grandchildren are open to hearing what grandma or grandpa has to say because the relationship is more clear cut and they see their grandparents as fountains of wisdom always given in love.

Rock and Roll Never Forgets

I was nominated to list my top ten albums that influenced me when I was growing up. When I was growing up I could not afford to buy music, and albums were not what we listened to, it was 45's in the 50's and in the 60's my friends would buy albums, I did not. The first album I bought was in about 1971(Bridge Over Troubled Water). It’s a sad thing when we, as baby boomers, begin to feel like “old fogies” when it comes to music and the “hip” things going on in popular culture. But when I read what the youngsters were listing I found it interesting.  It’s easy to forget that the rock music and many other genres of modern music got their launch way back during the days when baby boomers were the young people changing society and it was our music that changed the world.

So it’s good for us to remember such things about our heritage and what we passed on to the music and entertainment culture today.  In the song “Rock and Roll Never Forgets” by Bob Seger, the singer reviews the changes baby boomers have gone through as they go from youth to middle age and deal with pressures of work, family, child rearing and changes in health due to aging.  But the end result remains the same that at the heart of every baby boomer is a rock and roller who is just as capable as ever of enjoying the music that was the foundation of their culture.

One of the things that disheartened my generation growing up was seeing the rock and roll lifestyle take its toll on many of the icons of youth culture and music including Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Freddie Mercury.  But the unfortunate demise of these music heroes does not diminish the great contribution to music and to culture down through the years.  So as much as we grieve the loss of great talent, we can always celebrate what they gave to us and continue to give to us down to modern times as music continues to reference those great figures of 60s music as icons and inspirations.

But for every rock and roller who did not survive that turbulent time in our culture, we can look to great performers who did survive, overcame their addictions and went on to continue to give great music to the world decade after decade.  Aerosmith, The Rolling Stones, and David Bowie are examples of wonderful and talented music heroes that demonstrated that age and a few wrinkles don’t mean a thing.  They continue to rock and roll today as hard and with as much heart as they did when they were in their twenties.

In a way “to rock and roll” is a metaphor for living life to its fullest and for staying true to your values and living life in a genuine way that never gives up on what’s important in life.  That is why we have always had the greatest contempt for anyone who sells out or abandons their core principles that they espoused in youth.  To sell out is to say that none of the great histories of the youth revolution meant anything and we are willing to turn out backs on it.  But to “rock and roll” means always going back to your roots and never giving up, even when age and busy lives and poor health say that you should slow down and not try to live with as much earnestness as you did when you were young.

Even at this dignified and “mature” stage in life, we should feel liberated to be able to go ahead and “rock and roll” in a real sense of the word.  The Bob Seger song was a hit because it gives us permission to reconnect with our roots and express that youthful enthusiasm again.  You don’t have to go to a nostalgia show to do that either.  There are dozens of great rock and roll acts that are giving to the children of baby boomers (and their grandchildren) that same excitement we got from The Beatles and The Stones.  

“Discovering” rock and roll all over again can be great fun for a baby boomer especially when you find a new act that has that power and ability to perform that reminds us of the acts of our youth.  They are out there so just get out there and uncover this great natural resource of talent in the music and culture of today’s youth revolution. This is one of the reasons I took up the challenge so that I could remind my young friends about the power of music.