On the Road

“On the Road Again” is a well-known song by Willie Nelson released in 1980 one of many songs that embraced the idea that baby boomers love to travel. In 1969 Canned Heat released a song called Going Up The Country, which is one of the first songs that gave me the travel itch. There was a famous novel by Jack Kerouac that represented the generation before the time of the boomers, but that novel very much became a bible for us during the 1960s.  As a result, there is wanderlust and a yearning to get away from it all and travel that is deeply ingrained in our mentality and way of viewing the world.

It isn’t surprising then that as adults we have created a leisure and travel industry that has reached new levels of popularity in the last three decades.  So nobody would be surprised either when in our early retirement years begin to look into becoming the ultimate wanderers by hitting the road in their RVs and staying on the go virtually nonstop.

The spirit of adventure and desire not only to see and be part of the expanse of our glorious country has a lot to do with the yearning to travel that is so common my generation. It is more than just wanting to see great sights and enjoy the huge variety of climate and landscapes that Canada has to offer that lures us out of our rocking chairs and out onto the highways.  I am sure this idea also appeals to boomers, no matter where they live. It is also the allure of meeting new people, becoming “citizens” not just of their local community but of the world and packing their retirement years with fun and new adventures that have a genuine appeal.

We have always been people of adventure.  This can be seen in the great literature that has been made popular by my generation.  The Lord of the Rings is a great example of how we see the world. As ordinary creatures, the Hobbits, go on the road to do some great thing to save their world.  No wonder that trilogy became an anthem of the boomers who have always seen themselves as adventurers with a mission in life to do good for all mankind.

Hitting the road in an RV, as tame as that may seem, also appeals to a sense of unrestrained life that helps us combat the feeling that the world is closing in around us.  Another song, “Born to be Wild” was more than a catchy tune.  It expressed a self-image enhanced by the movie Easy Rider had us believe that we were only somewhat civilized and that there is a part of our nature that could never be tamed.  The freedom of travel and the lack of restrictions is liberating to those who may have been boxed in by life’s responsibilities, jobs and families for much of their adult lives. 

In this way, we don’t see retirement as a time to cut back on the adventure of living.  Quite the opposite, we see the chance to live on the road in our RVs as a chance to release that inner bohemian wanderer, that Jack Kerouac and Neil Cassidy that lives in us and give the free spirits amongst us the chance to redefine the world in their own terms.

We can be an inspiration to generations to come that they can live a life of responsibility and maturity and still retain a little of that inner beatnik or hippy that truly was born to be wild.

Which type of health style describes yours?

According to a study done in 2014, there are four health styles that Boomers fall into, which best describes you?

Healthy and Proactive

The Healthy and Proactive take charge of their health and health finances. They are the most actively engaged in healthy behaviours such as exercise and eating well, have the most positive attitude about their health, and also feel well prepared for health care costs in retirement.

This group:

·       Actively engage in key health behaviours such as exercising and eating well (73%)

·       Does not allow things to get in the way of taking care of their health (25%)

·       Say that staying healthy is a source of pride

·       See themselves as limited by a chronic condition (20%)

·       Have proactively researched retirement-related health care costs and insurance options (49%)

·       If married, have had discussions with their spouse about retirement health care topics

·       Is 55% female, and 45% male

Lucky but Lax

Lucky but Lax have been fortunate to be relatively healthy so far, but show little interest and effort in taking care of themselves or planning for their health finances, leaving them potentially vulnerable to future unexpected health disruptions.

This group

·       Have fewer chronic conditions than other groups

·       Rarely seek out information to improve their health

·       Feel some concern about the impact an illness could

·       have on their financial situation

·       Does not research retirement-related health care costs and insurance options (23%)

·       If married, do not have had discussions with their spouse about retirement health care topics

·       Is 41% female, 59% male

Course-Correcting and Motivated

The Course-Correcting and Motivated have experienced a health “wake-up call,” such as an illness or diagnosis, and are now trying to improve their health by seeking out information and tools as well as adopting healthier behaviours.

This group

·       Say having a chronic condition was a wake-up call for them to take better care of their health

·       Engage in healthier behaviours actively seek out information about how to improve their health

·       Are very interested in technology that can help them better manage their health

·       Are very concerned about the impact illness could have on their financial situation

·       Have researched retirement-related health care costs and insurance

·       If married, have discussed retirement health care topics with their spouse

·       Is 53% female, and 47% male

Challenged and Concerned

The Challenged and Concerned are struggling with health challenges, yet many are not actively taking good care of their health. They are the most worried about the impact of illness on their finances and are the most likely to say health care costs and insurance information are overwhelming and confusing.

This group

·       Have chronic conditions, which keep them from doing the things that they enjoy

·       Has low engagement in key health behaviours

·       Say other life worries and responsibilities get in the way of taking care of their health

·       Are seriously concerned about the impact illness could have on their financial situation

·       Has not researched retirement-related health care costs and insurance options

·       If married have not discussed retirement health care topics with their spouse

·       Feel very overwhelmed and confused by retirement health care cost and insurance information

·       Is 57% female, and 43% male

Do you have a reason to get up in the morning?

Forced to retire early, because of economic uncertainty or illness then you may have some fears and questions. Before settling into this new life, there are the practical realities, of course: money, location, healthcare. Once those are arranged, however, what comes next? What do I want to do with my time now? What will get me out of bed each morning? The questions are mostly short but hardly simple. Here are a few:

·       What gives me pleasure?

·       What do I most care about?

·       Can I use my career experience in new ways now?

·       What's been missing from my life?

·       What have I always dreamed of doing?

·       What gives me a sense of purpose?

·       What and who are most important to me?

·       What does an ideal day look like?

There are many others and the hard part is that no one can answer for you.

Here is a short answer, life after you retire, forced or voluntary is a continuation of life before retirement, without the bother of that 8:00 am to 4:30 pm stint at the office.

Of course, we need money for retirement and if we were able to we put some money away for retirement if we did not then we are faced with some problems. These money problems are not life-threatening, however, the answers we chose may be life-altering. We know that it is possible to estimate fairly accurately how much money you'll need to live on after you retire, and in most cases, it's nowhere near the "70% of your present income" that many say you need to maintain your present lifestyle. If you don’t believe me do a google search for "retirement calculators" to get ideas on financial planning. The real keys to a successful retirement are good health, spiritual life, relationships with family and friends, and having interesting things to do.

What are the habits and lifestyle choices that set you apart as a from those who are bored, lonely, and depressed? These choices are important because the difference between a happy, fulfilling retirement and "waiting for the Undertaker" is not money but the quality of life -- family, friends, good health, and meaningful 

activities that give you a reason to get up in the morning.

Some reasons given for getting out of bed in the morning are

·      All of the people who love and care about you want to spend time with you so don’t leave them waiting.

·      Because let’s be honest, you just really have to pee.

·       Breakfast is calling your name.

·       Each day is full of new surprises.

·       Retirement is the time to dust off your ‘bucket list’ and make a list of the ‘100 things you want to do before you die’.

·       It is important to live without regret – so spend time doing the things you want to do, rather than getting caught up in the things you feel you have to do.  Simply start by making a list of what you want to do!

·       Expand or develop your hobbies. Start taking Art Classes, join a group of Quilters, finish or start a woodwork project for your grandchildren, make miniature furniture, play bridge or golf.

So when we retire we cut out the structure provided by work so we need to find something to fill that space and time. For so many of us, life outside of work has consisted of years of relaxing, unwinding and preparing ourselves for the treadmill.  Many of us have forgotten how to find things to do that stimulate us and keep us interested and absorbed outside of work, so your first job when you retire is to find those “jobs” that keep you stimulated, interested and absorbed in life.

Death

The wife of a close friend has MS and has made a personal decision to choose physician-assisted suicide, which is legal in Canada. Her choice and another story about facing death made me think about this issue, and how my generation faces death. 

I read this quote the other day “Death is a storehouse of discontinued dreams, of unanswered questions, of unfulfilled dreams and desires, of unanswered problems of regrets and remorse, self-hate, self-love or unjustified guilt and shame.”

The idea of death is one that my generation has yet to come to grips with, hopefully, this will happen sooner rather than later. When we go to the next celebration of life or remember the last celebration, we may think about ourselves and where we are on the journey. Our life story, we believe, is far from ending. Death, our death, we think will leave our loved ones’ hanging. Does our death leave our life’s story unfinished as if it is a book with a plot that hangs in the air? Did our friend and loved ones know about our unrealized dreams or was are they left as an ever-silenced half-finished dream?

My young friend was telling us about her cousin, who had a brain tumour and he had walked out before the doctors could tell him he had only 2 months to live. His partner stayed and made the decision not to tell him the bad news. Her cousin is getting chemo and believes, wrongly that he has a chance of survival. We are all afraid to face death. When we die, our death reduces everything to nothing, leaving our loved ones with suspended memories. Memories that can heal or break the heart. Our memories are a distortion of our experiences as we distort the truth to justify our actions. Our survivor's do the same to remember us in the best light.

Death and life, we come together to celebrate a life well lived upon a death. Yet when the person who died is alive we may not celebrate their life with them. Why does death mean so much and life mean so little? Death is unwanted, unanticipated yet for some who are severing death is as welcomed as a long-lost friend, or a conquering hero.

For us when we die death is the end but for those who survive us, our death could be the beginning. We avoid talking about our own death, it is something that we avoid in good company, like other topics that can be sensitive such as religion and politics. Why do we use euphemisms for death? Here are a few:

· Passed passed on or passed away

· Resting in peace, eternal rest, asleep

· Deceased

· Departed, gone, lost, slipped away

· Lost her battle, lost her life, succumbed

· Gave up the ghost

· Kicked the bucket

· Didn't make it

· Breathed her last

· Was called home, is in a better place

One of the reasons we use these terms is to protect someone, whether it's the person speaking the words or those hearing them. We feel the need to look for a gentle way to deliver the news of death to someone or as a way to provide comfort, despite the grief of the situation.

Death and dying are natural but many people feel uncomfortable or anxious when discussing death. To ease the pain of death, we invented gods and religions to help us. When we listen to those who preach of life hereafter, or of reincarnation or in other forms of life after death we suspend our critical thinking. All of us will face death, and most of us will not go willingly as we have so much more to do. 

I hope my family and loved ones listen to my wishes as I believe that when I die do not want to be mourned, I want my friends, loved ones, and acquaintances to celebrate my life by being the best they can be. I do not want my death to be a storehouse of discontinued dreams, of unanswered questions, of unfulfilled dreams and desires, of unanswered problems of regrets and remorse, self-hate, self-love or unjustified guilt and shame.