Memories are made of this

My oldest cousin died a while back. I know that death at our age is expected, but hers was a surprise. There are a number of reasons I feel sad about her loss. First, we were not close, but I remember her as a very strong, friendly person who had a laugh and a smile that would light up the room. She was the daughter of my Dad’s oldest sister and with her death, a family connection is severed. She was a person who was very close to her family and had a zest for life that few 80+ people have. I remember driving her up to our uncle’s funeral a bit over a year ago. As we drove, she filled me in on what her children and grandchildren were doing and how excited she was about their plans, and how she would have to find time to fit in all of the upcoming activities.

She was actually older than my aunt and joked about how she would live for a while yet and she said that when she died, she would not have a big celebration of life. I understand that sentiment and I understand her children are having a small memorial service with only close family in attendance.

My brother pointed out to me that with her passing, there I and my cousin E are the oldest of our generation. My cousin E is two years older than I am, and her health, I understand, is not good. E is a very strong and resourceful lady and I am sure that she will live a long time, or so I hope.

I thought about what my brother said and it made me think about family, connections and moments in life that we want to remember and pass on. My cousin that just died sent my aunt a picture of my grandfather and grandmother on their wedding day and my aunt is sending me a copy. I will add it to my collection.

I have, like many of you, started to digitize old pictures and slides. My mother put all of the pictures she had into albums for the family. She did that for us before she passed and looking through the old albums brought back many great memories. I want my children and my grandson to have the same opportunity to look back and see what memories we wanted to be captured and remembered.  This is a challenge as there seem to be thousands of pictures but doing a few at a time and looking at what has been done not what needs to be done, makes the task less daunting.

Where have all the volunteer leaders gone, long time passing?

The lack of leadership is not just in the volunteer area. Back in the early 2,000’s academics were sounding the alarm about the lack of leadership in all areas.

There is a well-noted and alarming trend reported throughout the world—a desperate shortage of good leaders and talented professionals. These shortages appear at a time when the world is reeling from years of failed leadership. Leaders either have struggled valiantly with ineffective means, such as bureaucracy and command and control, or they have held onto power through brutal and corrupt means. Margaret J. Wheatley

Since we have not been training leaders, over time people who have leadership aspirations or skills quietly moved into non-leadership positions. There is an abundance of research that tells us that if people did not learn new skills or keep themselves active in activities beyond employment, they will not change when they retire.

Over the last two weeks, I have had similar conversations with three leaders of volunteer groups that work with people who are retired, or who are low income. The conversations focused on the fact that leadership is tired and wants to step aside for younger people with perhaps more energy and perhaps new ideas. One person said we have a great many people on our Board who love to say “I am on the Board of …. (but she said, they don’t want to do any of the work.  I said well perhaps at your next annual meeting someone will step forward.) She shook her head and said, they didn’t last year that is why I am still here. The conversations with the other two presidents were similar in ideas although the content was different.  Why are people not stepping up to take leadership roles?

One reason could be that each generation has its own approach and the older Boomers are not or have not paid attention to the needs of the younger members of the organization. Another reason may be that the leadership is seen as not wanting new ideas and are closed to suggestions for change. Another reason is that the organization itself is resistant to the idea of change. The organizational leadership does not encourage or help train new leadership, or they have not set up a leadership succession policy.

Each of the above reasons alone would hold back any potential leader and over time a leadership vacuum happens. The problem is that the present board leadership may not understand what is happening, even though the president does understand.  Every organization needs to, in my opinion, renew itself to continue. That renewal may start with a discussion of a vision and mission statement. I suspect many organizations have not looked at these statements since they were created. There are organizations and people who can help organizations renew and reinvigorate themselves so I hope that the leaders I talked to can take advantage of the information we shared so they can bring on new leaders, and their organizations can continue to be thriving contributors to our society.

Fear of being homeless

Yesterday I talked about money fears and the fear of being homeless. The fear of being homeless is not an irrational fear as every day I hear stories in the news about seniors being displaced from their homes. This is a result of the high price of property in the area where I live. Many seniors who rent are being forced out by landlords eager to capitalize on the increased property values. The governments are looking at the issue and are taking steps to help seniors and others who are caught up in the renovictions landlords are using to increase their income.

Around the world there is also, concern about seniors becoming homeless. A 2013 report by Women’s Property Initiatives looked at Bag Lady Syndrome in Australia and found that Australian baby boomer women are facing a poverty crisis that will affect wellbeing, economic viability and housing – and leadership is needed to ensure these women do not become “bag ladies” on the streets in their twilight years.

The increasing problem of lack of affordable housing has a dramatic but under-reported impact on single older women. The report also found that older women’s housing stress is linked to the following circumstances:

·       older divorced or separated women in Australia have the highest rate of financial disadvantage of all separating couples

·       women live longer than men but continue to earn less then men, both in lower wages and due to working part-time hence women have fewer savings and superannuation

·       the lack of appropriate and affordable housing

·       older women are subject to exploitation by others, such as family members whose interest is the housing, not the women

·       older women face problems of cultural adaptation and can be embarrassed about revealing their plight, such as lack of family support, to the public and/or welfare organizations

·       older women’s lack of money skills and knowledge of where to access help when their partner dies

·       older women’s susceptibility to the marriage breakdown of the adult children who support them, with the most significant increase in the proportion of divorced and separated adults in the 40-69 age range.

·       psychiatric disorders are more prevalent amongst older women than men.

·       older women have high rates of poverty.

But being homeless doesn’t have to become inevitable. At any age, you can change your situation so you don’t end up on the streets. First of all, try to save a little bit each week, even if it’s a tiny amount in a jar – it’ll add up. Then, get some financial advice whether it’s online or in person.

After that, it’s all about finding out what you really want out of your 60s and beyond. Remember: you have a community here that can help you if you need it – you’re never alone.

Money fears

I was going to write about “Where have all the Volunteer leaders gone”, but since my interests are many, when I saw this question, I changed my topic. The question is What’s your biggest money fear?

This is an interesting question and the answer is dependent, I suspect based on age, lifestyle and stage of life.  So, I went to the net to see if my assumptions were correct. I assumed that twenty-somethings might say they fear having to live in debt forever, or that they’ll never be able to afford a home, which is true, but this group is also concerned about learning how to manage money, debt and savings

Those in their thirties fear they’ll never stop living paycheque to paycheque. By the 30’s many have children, have bought a home or an apartment, and get caught up living with a mortgage. However, they are still learning to manage their money, controlling spending and debt. The savings are now starting to be geared for college for the kids and maybe retirement.

Forty-somethings might fear losing their job and having to start all over again. However, the concerns are more focused, many in their 40’s are established, but they recognize that a downturn in the economy or automation can put a halt to their plans. So, they are focused on gaining new skills, looking for ways to reduce debt by refinancing their mortgage or taking on a second job. Children are getting married so ways to help pay for the wedding become a bigger issue. In the late 40’s the realization that maybe some more money should be allocated to saving for retirement dawns.

The biggest money fear in your fifties might be whether you’ll ever be able to retire. The reality for many is that they have not because of other issues saved enough for a comfortable retirement. All of us will retire and in Canada and the US, we retire at age 61 or 63. This means that we have to find extra money for retirement. In this process we re-examine or debt and perhaps use debt consolidation to pay down our debt faster, we re-evaluate our retirement goals and we start to consider the value of different types of insurance.

The number one concern for all retirees is whether they will outlive their savings. It’s a legitimate fear, especially for women over the age of 60 who worry about the prospect of outliving their money and becoming homeless. Indeed, careful planning is required for those who retire without access to a defined benefit pension and without sufficient savings in RRSPs.

This fear can be overblown because Canadians enjoy government programs such as CPP, OAS, and GIS that provide a financial floor that has kept seniors out of poverty, although there is no assurance that these programs will continue to work as they were intended.