Granny's Day on the Highway

Dear Granddaughter, the other day I went up to our local Christian bookstore and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. 

So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. 

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. I found that a lot of people love Jesus! While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!' 'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! 

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out laughing. 

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. 

So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. 

So, I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks! Love, Grandma 

Some Jokes for fun

 I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.  I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.  I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over. 

I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, 'Are you having it catered'?   And that, my friend, is the sad definition of 'OLD'!   -

Know how to prevent sagging?  Just eat until the wrinkles fill out. 

I've sure gotten old!    I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.  Have bouts with dementia.  Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.  Have lost all my friends. But thank God, I still have my driver's license!

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests.  First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. 'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed.  'Why Wal-Mart?'  'These days, about half the stuff in my shopping cart says: 'For fast relief.'' 

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to a major crossroads. The stoplight was red, but they just drove through it. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself: "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another major junction, and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next junction, sure enough, the light was red, and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned to her and said: "Oh! Am I driving?"

Ready or Not Retirement is coming

 Are you ready for retirement? I thought I was, but I was not, and I went back to work for eight more years because I loved it and hoped to do it forever. But after eight years of full retirement, I love my job and I hope to do it forever (or at least another 19 years).

When I first retired, I visited my daughter in Australia, and she asked me if I and my wife would consider moving to Australia. I said no, because changing your lifestyle, location, and place of living or living luxuriously is not retirement necessarily. Retirement is a new phase offering new possibilities and could be a dream come true. But my idea of moving to a warmer climate is one that I did not consider because my friends and family except for my daughter are where I live.

So, as you consider retirement, don’t think of it as retiring “from” something; think of it as retiring “to” something else. And if you don’t know what that something else is, you’ve got a problem. But a solution to that problem is to take some time to be introspective and think about how you will gradually transition into my new way of life. This will guide you to your “what’s next.” The possibilities are endless. And that I recommend you pursue with vigour!

Pay off mortgage or not

 There is a worldwide trend that is growing for those who are close to or who are retiring or retired. Between 1990 and 2015 the percentage of 55–64-year old’s who owned their home without a mortgage fell from 70 percent to 47 percent. During the same period, the percentage of those carrying a mortgage debt rose from 12 percent to 31 percent. The balance were renters.

That leaves more 60 and 70-somethings with mortgage commitment. At the heart of this issue lie questions over how best to supply safe and affordable housing for seniors.

There is some research out of Australia that shows that those who own a home without a mortgage spend around 5 percent of their retirement income on housing, those who pay a mortgage or rent spend up to 30 percent of their retirement income on keeping a roof over their head.

Many renters ultimately require government rent assistance. Renting which is the main alternative to homeownership in retirement is often a more precarious path. Renters need more money over time as rents often increase faster than pension rates.

One idea is for those retiring is to use any savings they have to pay down or pay off any mortgage debt. This sounds great, but what will the person retiring live on if they cannot rely on their own retirement savings. Government pensions are designed to cover only a small percentage of what a person needs to live. So paying off a mortgage can be a bad decision, in the long run. But holding wealth in property is not necessarily a bad thing

One option is using that equity as an alternative retirement income stream by taking out a reverse mortgage, which I do not recommend but I think those who have home equity should start to use more of their housing assets in retirement by exploring alternative ways to get cash out. Otherwise, all you are doing is reducing your quality of life and leaving larger inheritances to the next generation. I still remember the bumper sticker I saw in the early 90’s that said, “I am spending my kid's inheritance."