Retirement is a time for a life review.

 Some of the challenges to identity triggered by retirement are important to how we adjust to retirement. As said yesterday, adjustment is not so much a regression, as it is an updating of the foundations of identity laid in prior years to help us cope in our latter years.

Retirement is a time for a life review. Some of the issues we may look at, include questions about which roles and identities we present to others are appropriate when we retire and try to re-invent ourselves. We may have to face the fact that we did or did not reach the goals we set for ourselves related to our careers, family lives, and social relationships.

When we acknowledge that we are closer to the end of life we may face questions about the very meaning of human existence. Death becomes more difficult to ignore as the inevitable end of existence as those around us die.

This is especially true for those of us who outlive our contemporaries. Death anxiety is also accompanied by the anxiety of fate, not knowing when or how one will die. There is also the possibility that guilt, for those of us who believe that we lived a less than satisfactory life and this can lead to self-condemnation and depression, in some.

Although individual identity issues vary, one theme seems to be common. The questions raised are:

·        Who am I, apart from the roles I have been playing?

What, in short, is the second half of life if it is not to repeat the script and expectations of the first half of life?

It is ironic that many look forward to being free of their jobs, but once retired, they begin to appreciate how much of their identity, especially for males was intertwined with their work. The loss of relationships, challenges, and activities associated with their work can be painful losses that many people overlook as they contemplate retirement.

The prospect of relief from a demanding or unsatisfying job in exchange for the prospect of freedom to do other things can be irresistible but is not necessarily lasting. The choice dilemma can be a problem when it comes to the question of, What will I do with my life from now on? As new retirees look back on their lives from the immediate present, they may ponder other questions:

 ·        I have done the expected things, according to my best understanding of myself and the world, so why does my life not feel right

Some of the things I have done have been good, productive, and consistent with my inner values, and some have not.

So, if my life is not feeling right, I need to explore and refresh my understanding of self. This is a painful task and some of the questions asked, are painful questions, and all of us, eventually experience this discrepancy between what we sought, served, and accomplished, and what we feel in our private honest

The void left by the absence of not only work but also much of the peripheral social activity associated with the workplace can create doubt as to how life in retirement will turn out. It is similar to “buyer’s remorse. You might ask yourself: Can I trust myself to make the right decisions?

Not knowing whether deciding to retire is the right choice can cause anxiety resulting in avoidance and delay. Many people do not retire when they planned to do so for many reasons two of which are financial problems or decision paralysis.

Anxiety about trusting oneself to make the right decision often leads to procrastination of retirement plans, and conversely to the possibility of an impulsive decision to retire. At this time in life, if you have a good track record of decision making you will probably feel confident about deciding and coping with the future. If your anxiety is high and your self-confidence low, you may be unwilling to trust yourself to make good decisions. The phenomenon of decision paralysis is likely to continue well into retirement when even more choices must be made

Leave your empathy behind part 3

 To create a new self-awareness, you need a safe environment where you can learn, affirm cultural heritages and practise advocating for yourself. Having a sense of who you are, in the context of culture and community, may help you see how you matter and can contribute to the world.

We do not shed our personalities, our life views or our habits when we retire. These become the basis of building our new understanding of our new role and our new responsibilities that we are adjusting to as we move through the stages of retirement.

The terms self-concept and self-identity define how we see ourselves. This division might also be labelled as “personal identity” and “social identity. Although each human’s existence appears to have constancy overtime in that it is the same person, the human body is in a state of continual, if not continuous, change (e.g., Scientists have found that the body's cells largely replace themselves every 7 to 10 years. In other words, old cells mostly die and are replaced by new ones during this time span. The cell renewal process happens more quickly in certain parts of the body, but head-to-toe rejuvenation can take up to a decade). This reality makes acceptance of a static identity doubtful, but there may be some aspects of our identity that are relatively stable over time.

In any life, there may be times when we believe we have lost our bearings. At this point, some of us may experience a potential identity crisis. Mid-life and retirement are two periods in which one phase of life ebbs, and we have to dig deep to replace what we believe has been lost.

Patterns of changes in identity are not necessarily correlated with age; nonetheless, certain crises do tend to occur within particular age ranges (e.g., mid-life crises and retirement).

One example is a necessary change in the parenting role that occurs when children reach adulthood and they leave home, leaving some of us with the “empty nest syndrome”. Aging, as another example, can bring physical limitations or outright elimination of some activities such as hard labour or playing contact sports.

Although we have developed an identity during adolescence and young adulthood, retirement can cause us to once again struggle with identity issues.  Many of us can be surprised by the ways in which retirement adjustment can evoke past issues. Self-awareness is a critical influence on an individual’s ability to assimilate or accommodate feedback, especially feedback received from their social environment.

Reviewing those factors that influenced the development of one’s personality in previous stages of life is not necessarily an action taken by all of us who retire. Taking stock of one’s life upon becoming a retiree, however, is a common phenomenon.

Our reflections upon the past can take various forms. Some of us may be consumed by nostalgia while others can be troubled by regret for lost opportunities. Some may never have been interested in or conscious of formative psychological influences upon their personality development; others could be aware of critical incidents in their personal history but unaware of how those incidents have affected their personality.

Others of us might be aware of such influences but have made the wrong attributions of how certain episodes shaped our identity. Increased awareness of how one’s identity has developed might better equip present and future retirees to understand and cope with the challenges to identity that are triggered by retirement. Adjustment is not so much a regression, as it is an updating of the foundations of identity laid in prior years.

Leave your empathy behind part two creating a new sense of self

 According to the school of Mental Health in Ontario exploring self-awareness and a sense of identity is a chance for courageous and supportive conversations about strengths, difficulties, preferences, values, lived experiences, and ambitions.

To do this you need a safe environment where you can learn, affirm cultural heritages and practise advocating for yourself. Having a sense of who you are, in the context of culture and community, may help you see how you matter and can contribute to the world.

Retirement has been defined as "an event, a formal departure from paid work that occurs on a given day, a status with new rules to learn and a process that begins the day an employee acknowledges that the worker role will end". For example, there may be losses of social and recreational activities with co-workers, a shared history with other workers, pride in and respect expressed for a worker’s competence, the stimulation and challenge of the job, and perks that were part of the job.

For many of us, the job is the hub of our working years’ lifestyle because it occupies so much of our existence. Involvement with family, friends, recreations, hobbies, and so on was often fitted around employment. However, the social interaction of the workplace is also part of our social life. For many of us, such peripheral but important aspects of the workplace can be overlooked until they are missed following retirement.

Now that old roles and behaviour patterns must be abandoned or modified, retirees may face the difficult task of finding new sources of identity to replace those lost to retirement. Future retirees are often advised to develop a diversified portfolio of “selves” so that despite losing some selves to retirement, others will be available to fill the gap. Some of these alternate selves (e.g., family roles, club involvements) will continue into retirement and may grow to be as prominent as those aspects of identity that were job-related.

The fact is what people have done in the past indicates a high probability of what they will do in the future. This situation has its positive side in that many aspects of our personalities and behaviour will continue to function in retirement. The presence of identity assimilation (seeing one’s experience of the world as compatible with one’s identity) and accommodation (adjusting in order to achieve compatibility of identity and experience) can contribute to a balanced identity over time that does not swing between two extremes: either denial of the need for adjustment or excessive modification.

Therefore, retirement could be viewed as a process that has a great impact on life transition that will lead to a sense of emptiness, loneliness and a reduction in life satisfaction. Or retirement could be viewed as a process that has a great impact on life transition that will lead to a sense of discovery, exciting new relationships and an increase in life satisfaction. Both views are self-fulling prophecies. If you believe the former it will come true, if you believe the latter, it will come true. Your understanding of yourself and your self-awareness is important in which world view of retirement you take.

Retirement is associated with a person being longer needed in their job. Retirement can be seen as a beginning to the end of a human career where much focus is given to free time and rest after a long career phase of work. Therefore, to ensure that retirees maintain the quality of their life as before they plan for retirement but the first step in good retirement planning, is not financial planning but self-awareness.

Plan Your Trips Ahead To Avoid Wasting Gas

It is unfortunate but true that most of us have no direct effect on the substantially high cost of gas. After all, gas prices are set by forces that are far beyond our control, and there is nothing we can do about the expenses we incur while driving, right? Well, that is only partially correct. See, while we may not be able to control the price per gallon of gas, we certainly can control how much gasoline we use, and therefore, how often we have to fill up our automobiles! Doing so is not as difficult as you may think!

When most people think about conserving gas, they figure that it must be an annoying and inconvenient process. However, learning to conserve gas can actually be a very easy thing to do, and may lead you to develop better overall habits as well. For instance, planning your trips ahead of time is a great way to use less gas, and it is also a good idea anyway, as it is a skill that helps you to remain more organized in your daily life.

Many people today live outside of city areas, sometimes up to dozens of miles away in rural towns or other areas. For these folks, it is absolutely vital to plan ahead when considering trips that have to be made, at least if they want to save money on gas! 

I use google maps to help plan my trip. This app has added the most economical route option. This is a great way to save money as the app will provide you with the best options.

Since these people have to drive many highway miles per week as it is, it is not advisable for them to make extra trips into town, especially when they could have consolidated all their shopping needs or errand running into one trip.

Another aspect of trip planning is being smart about where you will go and when. If you know that you can wait to drive around the city and get done whatever you need to get done, then try to avoid doing so during peak driving hours. Nothing kills your gas mileage more than sitting in a traffic jam or stuck a hundred feet from a stopped traffic light, waiting for everyone to take turns accelerating once the light turns green. If you can avoid these frustrating and gas guzzling driving situations, you will be one step closer to your goal of limiting your fuel consumption.

Finally, make sure that you are organized when you go to the store or out shopping. It is a good idea to make a list before you leave, even if you believe that you will not forget anything. It is easy to forget to buy an important item at the grocery store, especially if you are in a hurry or have a lot of other items to remember. This means that when you return home, you will have to go back to the store to get the forgotten item(s) or simply make do without them until your next trip to the store. Alas, neither of these options are very attractive ones, so try to be organized when you head out to the store.

As you have probably realized, it is not difficult to make proper trip planning a part of your regular daily life. If you do so, you will easily be able to minimize your driving, and you will find yourself having to fuel your vehicle up far less often as a result.