AND THEN IT IS WINTER

 This is another good news story that is circulating on social media, I received it a few days ago. In the post I received there is no reference to th author, I did a search ad as far as I can tell this post was written in 2019 by Ward Tanneberg I have linked to his site, if you want to read more of his words you can..

You know. . . time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years.

It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams. But here it is... the winter of my life and it catches me by surprise...How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?

I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like. But here it is...my friends are retired and getting grey...they move slower, and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some worse shape than me...but I see the great change....Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant...but, like me, their age is beginning to show, and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd be.

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore... it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will... I just fall asleep where I sit!

And so...now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!

But at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I'm not sure how long it will last...this I know, that when it's over on this earth...it's NOT over. A new adventure will begin!

Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done...things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime.

So, if you're not in your winter yet...let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! Don't put things off too long!

Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not! You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life...so, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember...and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!

"Life" is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one.

Coping with Loneliness

In today’s society, many individuals live alone due to personal choices or life events like a spouse’s death or a relationship’s end. Loneliness is a common experience that can affect anyone, regardless of age, background, or circumstances. While it's natural to feel lonely at times, persistent feelings of loneliness can have negative effects on our mental and physical health.

Fortunately, there are many ways to cope with loneliness and improve our overall well-being. Here are some strategies you can try:

Giving your time and skills to others remains one of the most fulfilling ways to cope with loneliness. Today, you can explore not only in-person opportunities at hospitals, schools, and community centers but also virtual volunteer roles. Many organizations now offer remote positions, such as tutoring, online event hosting, or providing companionship via video calls to isolated seniors.

Grief is deeply personal, but knowing you’re not alone can make a difference. In 2024, it’s easier than ever to find support groups—both in-person and virtual—that focus on grief, loss, and loneliness. Websites like GriefShare, Reddit, or specific social media groups are excellent for connecting with others who understand your experience.

Mindfulness has become a widely recognized tool for coping with stress and emotional pain. Apps like Headspace or Calm provide guided meditations to help you process difficult emotions and find peace in the present moment. Establishing a routine of mindfulness can help you accept the emotions that come with grief and cultivate resilience.

Lifelong learning is easier than ever with the abundance of free or affordable online courses available. Platforms like Coursera and edX offer courses in a wide range of topics, from personal development to professional skills, providing both a mental challenge and a sense of accomplishment. Engaging in learning can be an excellent way to shift focus and find new purpose.

In 2024, it’s easier to maintain connections through social media, messaging apps, and video calls. Schedule regular virtual or in-person dinner dates with friends or family, use services like Meetup to find local groups that share your interests, or reconnect with people through technology to strengthen social bonds.

Getting outside and staying active remains critical to mental and physical health. However, now you can integrate tech tools like fitness trackers and apps that gamify exercise or help you join virtual walking groups. Exercise not only boosts mood but also helps break the cycle of isolation, whether through local fitness classes or nature-based activities like hiking or gardening.

Digital platforms now offer countless ways to stay engaged with hobbies, entertainment, and personal development. Whether you're exploring virtual museum tours, attending live-streamed theatre performances, or playing multiplayer games online, technology can help you find joy in new experiences. Consider apps like Goodreads for book recommendations, or explore YouTube for free tutorials on everything from art to cooking.

Recognize that it's okay to feel lonely and that you're not alone in your feelings. Treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience.

Challenge negative thoughts: When you're feeling lonely, it's easy to get caught up in negative thoughts. Challenge these thoughts by reframing them in a more positive or realistic light.

Build a support network: Surround yourself with people who support and care about you. This can include friends, family, or a therapist.

Practice forgiveness: Let go of any resentment or anger you may be holding onto. Forgiveness can help you move forward and reduce feelings of loneliness.

Remember, loneliness is a common experience that can be managed and overcome. By incorporating these strategies into your daily life, you can improve your mental and physical health and build a more fulfilling life.

Memories are made of this 2

High school wasn't exactly a blast, but in hindsight, it was a blur of average grades and extracurricular overcommitment. I didn’t study much (B’s and C+'s are nothing to brag about), but I was involved in everything—sports, the yearbook, the school newspaper, student council. I even managed another band (this one lasted three whole shows!). My big athletic claims to fame? I received a school letter for my athletic contributions in track and field, I was part of a community football team that won the Canadian Championship and a community softball team that won the BC Championships. Despite these achievements, if you ask me about fitting in, I’d say I never quite did. I had friends in town that didn’t mesh with my school friends, and reconciling those worlds was like trying to mix oil and water. Or, in my case, rock and roll and algebra

Grade ten rolled around with our history teacher crying over JFK’s assassination, and we all got the day off. Emotional milestones, indeed.

I loved rock and roll, attending all the local dances, even though I couldn't dance to save my life. I saw Roy Orbison, Paul Revere and the Raiders, and even sneaked into a Beatles concert by exploiting a security lapse – though, surprisingly, I wasn't that impressed.

At my first high school reunion, I met people who remembered me and our times differently. It was a humbling experience that taught me to never underestimate the impact I had on others. The high school reunion helped me realize two things: 1) Some people actually loved high school, and 2) Some people remembered me far more fondly than I remembered myself. Apparently, I was more helpful than I thought. So, I learned this lesson you might not realize the impact you have on others until decades later.

Finally, off I went to Simon Fraser University, where, as one of the charter students, I dove headfirst into extracurricular activities by helping to start the first newspaper, "The Tartan," and was involved in setting up the student government and dance-planning ventures. We put on several dances and put all of our hard-earned  profits back into one big formal to honour our President. All of the money was spent on a President’s Ball. I was practically a model of student initiative—just with more confetti.

University was a time of fun, initiative, and learning that life is too short to be held back by anything but your own self-imposed limitations.

What did I learn through it all? In the end, memories are often a mix of fact, fiction, and the stories we tell ourselves. The second thing I learned was that the only real limits are the ones we put on ourselves. High school was fun, weird and not what I thought it was. University was hard work, fun, and life? It’s short, so enjoy the ride.

Memories are made of this 1

 As we think about good-news stories, it's important to remember that the stories from our past both the good and the bad are often tales woven from stories told by others and our own recollections, which can be inaccurate or colored by time. It doesn’t justify or excuse anything you do now. If it did, we’d all blame our current snack habits on that one time in kindergarten when someone took the last cookie. So, childhood memories—those delightful, occasionally cringe-worthy flashes of the past, as reliable as a game of broken telephone. 

Now, before I was six, my memories were hand-me-downs from family lore—mom, dad, uncles, and aunts filling in the gaps of my selective memory. They’re my memories now, but let’s be real: I didn’t personally RSVP to that birthday party I allegedly cried at. That story’s all theirs.

What I do "remember" (with a generous dose of revisionist history) is playing with my brothers in some small Kootenay Valley town. I didn’t like school, so I skipped it. Now, some might say I "failed" grade one, but I prefer to think of it as an exercise in self-directed education. You can call it marching to the beat of my own drum. A drum that was apparently playing hide-and-seek in the woods while everyone else was learning how to read. This, of course, led to a restart in school when we moved to Vancouver Island. Some might call it failing grade one, but I prefer to think I was just marching to the tune of my own drums.

From age six to ten, we lived in an Auto Court, a motel with long-term rentals, where the annual flooding of the nearby river was a highlight of my year. I loved it when the river flooded every year. It was like having front-row seats in nature's waterpark. I started delivering papers in grade three and remember that long bike ride down narrow rural roads, though I was occasionally rescued by my dad when I got spooked by herds of free-roaming horses. Nothing says "character building" like your dad having to rescue you from what can only be described as a real-life reenactment of The Stampede. It took me about three decades to realize why horses freaked me out and could stop me in my tracks.

By grade four, we moved again. This time to a much smaller, tight-knit rural community where the population was about 40 kids in grades 1 to 6. It was like being the new fish in a tiny, well-established pond. If you've ever moved into a small town, you know how this goes: everyone knows their place in the pecking order and new people? Bottom of the food chain. I spent a year proving I was tough enough to climb that social ladder. Some learned to make friends. I took the "friendship with benefits" approach—the benefit being not getting pushed into the mud. It was a tough first year, but I learned that making friends was far more enjoyable than fighting. The next couple of years were pretty smooth. I was a big fish in my tiny pond by grade six, even managing my first band. We played one show at school before breaking up due to creative differences. (Translation: we were 12, and someone got bored.)

In grade six, we took an IQ test that determined our class placements in Junior High. This test was designed to sort us for Junior High. So, on the first day of junior high our names were called out in mysterious order. Spoiler alert: they were called  by descending IQ score. I was in the second group called, which was a small victory until I realized all my friends were in the last group. Brilliant.

So, grade seven began with me in a new, much bigger school—alone in my class, with none of my old crew. This new school was a big change, where toughness gave way to intelligence and popularity as the metrics for success, and I was still operating under the "fight your way up" rulebook. Turns out, popularity is a whole different kind of battle. I was shy around girls and not very chatty with the guys, so I found my niche in the Drama class, hanging out with the troublemakers. We had our fun – staple gun fights in the cafeteria and crawling through crawl spaces making animal noises below different classrooms around the school. In grade 9 on Guy Fawkes Night, my friends and I made some fireworks (homemade, naturally) and were promptly ambushed by some other guys on our bikes. After a dramatic escape (cue slow-motion action movie sequence), I broke every finger in my hands, which was fortunate, considering the school strap session involving a spitball fight, the next week. My saving grace? My bandaged hands spared me from punishment. Silver linings, folks.