Happy New Year

Its never too late, to start the new year right,. Here is a story a friend of mine sent me to show how much three words can mean or not mean, if not said enough. Start the new year right, tell the person you love that you love them. 

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husband. The women were asked,

"How many of you love your husband?"

All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked,

"When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"

Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember. 

The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text to their husband, 'I love you, sweetheart.' 

The women were then instructed to exchange phones with the person beside them so they could read aloud the text messages they received, in response. 

Below are 12 of the replies.  If you have been married for quite a while, ... well, you get the picture.

1. Who the hell is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
3. Yeah, and I love you too.  What's up with you?
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean?
6. What the heck did you do now?
8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she? 

Reflecting on the year that was...

 As the final day of 2024 unfolds, many of us find ourselves reflecting on the year gone by and imagining the possibilities ahead. For some, this season brings the annual debate about New Year's resolutions: to make a list or not to make a list? 

Instead of resolutions, consider a Past Year Review (PYR) a simple yet powerful exercise introduced by Tim Ferriss. It’s perfect for retirees who want to live with intention, focus on joy, and make room for what truly matters.

How to Do a Past Year Review

Take some quiet time to review your past year. List the activities, experiences, and moments that brought you the most joy, and those that drained your energy or caused stress.

Identify the top 20% of your joyful experiences and the top 20% of your unpleasant ones.

Use your findings to create two lists: a "Not-to-Do List" for avoiding the negatives and a "Priority Fun List" for embracing the positives.

My reflection over the past year gave me a list of things to cut back on and some ideas of what to do more of in the year. I realized I was giving too many workshops on Zoom and spending too much time online. On the positive side, I realized that I want to watch my grandchildren, play sports and get out more on the golf course with my friends. Little things but I have found that it is the little things that bring joy and sometimes sadness, not the big things.

The beauty of this approach is its simplicity. Instead of focusing on daunting goals, it empowers you to avoid what doesn’t work and lean into what does without the pressure of sweeping resolutions.

Now that I have a "Priority Fun List," I have put them on my calendar! I find that if it’s not on the calendar, it’s easy to let it slip away, but when it’s scheduled, I will follow through.

By prioritizing fun, you’re investing in happiness and creating memories to cherish. And here's the best part you're not only building memories, but you're also building your own happiness, Whether it’s a lunch with friends, a stroll in the park, or a new hobby, these moments will bring lasting joy and fulfillment.

So, as you look back on 2024 and ahead to 2025 take the time to reflect on your past year, create memories, and schedule fun. You might just find that it's the key to a happier, more fulfilling retirement.

Remember, retirement is a time to enjoy the fruits of your labour and pursue your passions and a time to celebrate freedom and possibility. But without intention, it’s easy to drift into routines that don’t spark joy, like spending too many hours in front of the TV. Scheduling fun means taking control of your happiness and ensuring your days are filled with meaningful experiences.

As you close out 2024, take time to reflect on the year gone by and intentionally plan the year ahead. Focus on what brings you joy, avoid what doesn’t, and create memories that will make you smile for years to come. Here’s to 2025! Make it your most joyful year yet!

Solo Ageing

 American and Canadian society rests on an assumption that families take care of their own, When seniors living alone have no close family, can non-family helpers be an adequate substitute? The reason I thought about this is my sister-in-law just lost her husband and is living alone, and another friend, is in the same boat. As winter swirls around us, I thought about how we could help what help they could receive from other sources.

While family often provides a safety net, non-family helpers can step in to fill critical gaps when no close relatives are available. Here are a few key questions solo agers need to consider do you have any answers to the questions: Who will be there for them, for matters large and small? Who will help them navigate the ever more complex healthcare system and advocate on their behalf? Who will take out the garbage if it becomes too difficult to carry? Who will shovel the snow if a winter storm blows through?

Here are some potential answers and strategies for the questions raised:

Who will be there for them, for matters large and small?
Solo agers can create a "chosen family" of trusted friends, neighbours, or community members who are willing to step in. Building a support network through local senior organizations, hobby groups, or even faith-based communities can provide emotional and practical support. Look into local churches, synagogues, or other places of worship that offer social programs and support for seniors. Professional caregivers or companions can also be hired to ensure that someone is available for regular check-ins and small tasks. Consider joining local senior centers, community organizations, or volunteer groups that align with your interests. These can provide a sense of belonging and connection. Online platforms like Meetup.com or Facebook Groups can help you connect with others who share similar interests or experiences.

Who will help them navigate the ever more complex health care system and advocate on their behalf?
Solo agers may benefit from hiring a professional patient advocate or care manager who specializes in navigating healthcare systems and coordinating care. Some nonprofit organizations and government programs also offer support services to seniors. Research local non-profit organizations that provide health care navigation services, such as the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging (n4a.org) or the National Council on Aging (ncoa.org). Designating a trusted person, whether a lawyer, friend, or volunteer or consider hiring a geriatric care manager or a social worker who can help with health care coordination and advocacy. They can serve as a healthcare proxy. A power of attorney is essential to ensure that your wishes are respected and acted upon. Look into local hospitals or health systems that offer patient advocacy programs or support services.

Who will take out the garbage if it becomes too difficult to carry?
This issue can often be solved with a combination of community and professional resources. Many municipalities offer services for seniors and people with disabilities, such as assisted garbage collection. Additionally, hiring a part-time helper for household chores or enlisting the assistance of a neighbour in exchange for small gestures of appreciation can address this need. Consider hiring a local handyman or home maintenance service to help with tasks like trash removal, snow shovelling, or yard work.

Look into local senior-focused organizations that offer home maintenance and repair services, such as the National Association of Home Builders (NAHB) Aging in Place program. Finally, reach out to neighbours or friends who may be willing to lend a helping hand.

Who will shovel the snow if a winter storm blows through?
Many communities have volunteer programs where people help seniors with snow removal, particularly in areas prone to harsh winters. For example, local youth groups, faith organizations, or city-sponsored volunteer networks may offer these services. Alternatively, solo agers can hire a snow removal service or collaborate with neighbours to share resources like a plowing service. Consider hiring a local snow removal service or a handyman who can help with snow shovelling and other winter tasks. Look into local senior-focused organizations that offer snow removal services, such as the National Council on Aging's (NCOA) Snow Removal Program. Reach out to neighbours or friends who may be willing to help with snow removal.

These scenarios highlight the importance of proactive planning. Solo agers can thrive with the right mix of resources, relationships, and professional services, but these arrangements require thoughtful preparation and community engagement. Society as a whole also has a role in ensuring that systems and programs are in place to support those without traditional family structures.

To find reliable local connections, consider the following:

Attend local events, such as senior fairs, health fairs, or community gatherings, to meet new people and learn about local resources. Join online forums or social media groups focused on senior issues or local communities. Reach out to local senior centers, community organizations, or places of worship to ask about their programs and services. Consider hiring a professional organizer or a senior move manager who can help you declutter, downsize, and connect with local resources.

Remember, building a community of support takes time and effort. Be patient, persistent, and open-minded, and you'll increase your chances of finding reliable non-family helpers to support your solo aging journey.

Turning Post-Holiday Blues into Optimistic Anticipation

The holidays often come with a mix of joy, planning, and creativity, providing us with something to look forward to. As the decorations are packed away, you might feel a void. The good news is that you can harness the same sense of anticipation and optimism by setting meaningful goals or planning events that inspire excitement. Here’s how:

Plan Micro-Goals That Spark Joy

Instead of waiting for big events, focus on smaller, achievable goals. These could be as simple as learning to bake a new recipe, reorganizing a room, or taking on a hobby like painting or gardening. Each milestone gives you something tangible to anticipate.

Example: Sign up for a beginner’s class in a skill you’ve always admired, like photography or knitting. Websites like Skillshare or Coursera offer a variety of courses to explore.

Transform Less-Desirable Events into Opportunities

Not all events in life are inherently fun, but you can change your perspective by attaching a reward or positive twist to them.

Example: If you dread tax season, plan a celebratory dinner or day out for when you’ve completed the paperwork. Or, if you dislike your morning commute, turn it into a time to listen to engaging audiobooks or podcasts. Check out Audible for inspiration.

Create a Personal “Bucket List” for the New Year

Having a bucket list doesn’t have to mean grand adventures like skydiving. Focus on small, meaningful goals. Write them down and actively plan for them.

Example: Decide to visit a local museum, hike a nearby trail, or explore a cultural event in your area. Apps like Eventbrite can help you find activities near you.

Plan for Seasonal Celebrations

The New Year is full of lesser-known celebrations you can look forward to. These events can provide fun themes for activities, gatherings, or personal challenges.

Example: Plan a Valentine’s Day craft project, or participate in a National Library Week event. Mark your calendar with quirky holidays like National Cat Day or Pi Day to plan lighthearted celebrations.

Engage in Giving Back

Focusing on helping others can provide purpose and fulfillment. Volunteering gives you a sense of contribution but helps build anticipation for events like food drives, charity walks, or community projects.

Example: Volunteer at a local shelter, or organize a neighborhood cleanup. Websites like VolunteerMatch can help you find opportunities nearby.

Visualize Your Goals with Creative Planning Tools

Use tools like vision boards or digital planners to map out your aspirations and events for the year. Seeing your plans come together visually can boost motivation.

Example: Create a digital vision board on Pinterest, or use apps like Trello to organize your ideas and goals.

By finding ways to anticipate meaningful activities, you can fill your post-holiday lull with excitement and purpose. Whether through micro-goals, creative projects, or community engagement, there’s always something to look forward to—and every step can help shape a positive outlook for the year ahead.