Retired time to find a new balance

In her blog A Retirement Blog, Caree Risover posted a blog on "More than One Way" in which she said, When we were working, many of us fell into this trap and felt the frantic nature of life as we ran from one commitment to another. Who'd have thought how easily you can fall into the trap of doing this, even when you are retired and theoretically have time at your disposal?

I've been ruminating on my folly, and although that wonderful feeling of tranquility is clearly linked to a slower tempo, it isn't true that to appreciate the joy of life, you always have to operate at a snail's pace. Indeed, the early years of retirement are definitely an opportunity for adventure and exploration, deriving thrill from the novel and unfamiliar. There are many ways to revel in the moment. I agree that there are many ways to revel in the moment. Then, a friend of mine asked me a question. This is my response to her question and Caree's thoughtful post.

One example would be to read your latest novel while you watch the rain and wind flow around your house. Another is to sit with friends for lunch and listen as they talk about past glories and future dreams.

One of my friends imagined retirement as a time of slow mornings, leisurely walks, and peaceful afternoons filled with books and tea. After decades of juggling deadlines, meetings, and family commitments, she was ready for tranquility. Or so she thought.

Two months into retirement, she found herself busier than ever. She volunteered at the library, signed up for a watercolor class, agreed to help plan the neighborhood potluck, and even babysat her grandkids twice a week. The freedom she had longed for seemed just as frantic as her working years, just with different commitments. She had forgotten how to say no.

One day, she said to me, I don’t understand it. I thought I was done with rushing from one thing to the next. But here I am, running around again. Retirement wasn’t supposed to feel like this."

Having been retired for almost 20 years, I laughed and said, "Ah, the retirement rush. We all fall into it. The trick isn’t slowing down completely; it’s finding the rhythm that suits you. Sometimes, life is about exploration and adventure. Other times, it’s about pausing to soak in the moment. There’s no single right way to enjoy this stage."

My friend started to make small changes; she left her schedule open for an entire morning. No plans, no commitments. She sat by the window with her book and let the sound of the rain tapping on the glass set the tempo for her day. It felt wonderful.

Later that week, she told me she had experienced something new and wonderful. She joined a hiking group and was excited when they reached a breathtaking viewpoint.

You don’t have to choose between movement and stillness, between adventure and tranquility. Retirement is not a one-size-fits-all experience. Some days were for discovery, for stepping into the unfamiliar with a spark of curiosity. Other days were for stillness, for soaking in the simple pleasures of life.

Retirement is about finding a new balance, not by following one strict approach but by embracing all the ways life could be enjoyed.

How Can an Athlete Balance Recognition While Remaining Process-Oriented?

It's great to enjoy your successes, but never forget the journey that led you there. A balanced strategy means that you develop as an athlete and as an individual.

As I  wrap up this series on winning, it’s important to remember that while celebrating successes is gratifying, the true essence of growth lies in honoring the journey itself. Achieving recognition is a wonderful reward, yet it’s only one piece of the larger picture of becoming not just a better athlete but a more resilient and well-rounded individual. Each trophy, medal, or moment of acclaim represents countless hours of practice, sacrifice, and perseverance. When you stand on that podium, it’s a celebration of every early morning, every setback turned lesson, and every small win along the way. However, focusing solely on these milestones can sometimes distract you from the ongoing process that fuels continuous improvement.

Research in sports psychology shows that athletes who maintain a process-oriented mindset are more likely to sustain motivation and long-term success. Balancing recognition with a process-oriented approach means setting goals that value both the outcome and the journey. Here are some key strategies to achieve that balance:

Set Incremental Goals: Instead of only aiming for championships or record-breaking performances, break your objectives into smaller, daily goals. Each practice session and training drill becomes a stepping stone towards excellence.

Reflect on the Journey: Take time to appreciate the progress you’ve made, even the struggles. Reflection helps reinforce that every moment, whether triumphant or challenging, contributes to your growth.

Embrace Continuous Learning: Cultivate a mindset that values improvement over perfection. Celebrate technical improvements, mental resilience, and the camaraderie built with teammates.

Stay Grounded in Intrinsic Motivation: Focus on what you love about your sport, be it the joy of movement, the thrill of learning something new, or the satisfaction of overcoming a challenge. This inner drive is what sustains you far beyond any external recognition.

The principles that guide athletic success extend far beyond sports. In life, too, we encounter challenges that demand both the celebration of achievements and an appreciation for the process of growth. Whether you're pursuing a career milestone, learning a new skill, or building meaningful relationships, embracing a balanced strategy helps you evolve continuously as an individual.

By balancing the joy of recognition with a steadfast focus on day-to-day improvement, you learn to value every step of your journey. This holistic approach not only leads to athletic excellence but also fosters personal development, resilience, and a deeper understanding of success as a lifelong pursuit.

In closing, while winning is undoubtedly exciting, the real triumph lies in the continuous pursuit of excellence, the lessons learned along the way, and the personal growth that transcends every score. Embrace your successes, cherish the journey, and let every day’s improvement be a victory in itself.

My own experience, racing with my brothers, playing softball with unbreakable determination, assisting in building championship teams, and later coaching teams that won some and lost some championships, has taught me that victory is achieved in a multitude of ways. It's not everything about standing atop the podium; it's about the sweat, the laughter, the moments of victory and defeat experienced together, and most importantly, the journey which transforms you along the way.

For my grandson, as you continue in your sports life, remember that every event you enter, every practice session you endure, and every failure you overcome is a part of a larger, rewarding experience. Whether you're speeding down the ski slopes or striving to be as good as you can be in any competition or in life, the real victory is in the improvement, the friendship, and the daily advancement you gain.

Therefore, if someone ever asks you, "Does winning really matter?" you can grin and say, "Yes, it does, but not so much because of the medals and the applause. It matters because of the journey, the lessons learned, and the friendships that are made along the way."

May your journey be filled with small wins, steady progress, and the sheer joy of just playing the game of life. 

How to Transition from Championships to Day-to-Day Improvement

Perfection resides in day-to-day improvement. With constant improvement, every practice session and training session becomes a stepping stone towards greatness.

Championships are the thrilling peaks of athletic performance, moments that etch themselves in our memories. However, what truly forges a champion isn’t just that one victorious moment it’s the steady, daily commitment to improvement that builds a foundation for success. As I've learned from my own journey in sports, every practice session, every training drill, and every minor adjustment to technique serves as a stepping stone toward greatness.

While the roar of the crowd at a championship event can be exhilarating, it is in the quiet moments of daily training where perfection is honed. Focusing on the process, perfecting a twist, a stride, refining a swing, or even improving your stance creates an environment where every small win matters. This daily focus on improvement, much like the Japanese philosophy of Kaizen, emphasizes that even minor gains, compounded over time, lead to extraordinary results. This approach not only enhances technical skills but also builds mental resilience and a deep-rooted passion for the sport.

Research in sports psychology consistently shows that athletes who commit to daily improvements tend to outperform those fixated solely on end goals. This mindset shifts the emphasis from fleeting moments of glory to a sustainable model of success. When every practice session is viewed as an opportunity to learn and grow, the journey becomes as rewarding as the final victory. By celebrating these small victories, be it a faster lap time or a more precise movement, athletes are continually motivated to push their limits further.

The lessons learned from this approach aren’t confined to the sports arena. In life, achieving long-term success is about the cumulative effect of daily efforts. Whether you’re learning a new skill, nurturing relationships, or advancing your career, the principle remains the same: Constant, incremental improvement is key. Embracing this process-oriented approach reduces the pressure of a singular, high-stakes moment and encourages a healthier, more balanced perspective on progress and achievement.

For those interested in exploring these ideas further, you might find the Self-Determination Theory website and articles on Psychology Today insightful. They offer a deep dive into how focusing on daily progress can lead to sustained motivation and overall fulfillment, both in sports and in everyday life.

In essence, while winning a championship is memorable, the journey of daily improvement builds the true legacy of a champion. Every practice, every small gain, and every lesson learned on the way is a testament to the idea that perfection resides not in a single moment of glory but in the continuous pursuit of excellence

What Research Says About Motivation—Why Winning Isn’t the Top Priority for Athletes

Studies in sports psychology reveal that the inner drive to improve, the love of the game and the joy of learning often outweigh the simple desire to win. Rather than chasing external rewards like trophies or titles, many athletes find that true fulfillment comes from the journey itself.

At the heart of this perspective is the concept of intrinsic motivation. According to Self-Determination Theory (SDT), developed by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, people are most motivated when they feel autonomous, competent, and connected. In sports, this means that athletes who focus on mastering their skills and embracing the challenge of improvement experience deeper satisfaction. This focus on personal growth over external validation is linked to higher persistence, greater resilience, and overall enhanced well-being.

For instance, research shows that athletes who set process-oriented goals, like improving technique or increasing endurance, tend to enjoy their sport more and are likely to maintain long-term participation. The daily commitment to progress, even when the scoreboard doesn’t immediately reflect it, becomes the true reward.

Research Highlights and Further Reading

·         Self-Determination Theory: SDT provides a robust framework for understanding why the journey can be more rewarding than the destination. For a deeper dive into this theory, visit the Self-Determination Theory website.

·         Intrinsic Motivation in Sports: Articles on platforms such as Psychology Today explore how intrinsic motivation—focusing on self-improvement, learning, and the sheer joy of the game—can lead to a more fulfilling athletic experience.

When athletes focus on the process, every training session, every small improvement, and every moment of learning becomes a building block for lasting success. This approach not only improves performance but also nurtures a lifelong love of the sport. It reminds us that the satisfaction derived from constant growth, perseverance, and shared experiences is what truly drives success.

In essence, while winning is undeniably exciting, it’s the inner drive to improve and the joy found in every step of the journey that ultimately sustains an athlete’s passion. This inner drive, often referred to as intrinsic motivation, isn’t fueled by external rewards like trophies or accolades but by the satisfaction of personal growth and mastery. Self-determination theory, developed by Deci and Ryan, explains that when athletes focus on enhancing their skills and enjoying the process, they experience a deeper, more enduring form of motivation. This focus on growth over the final score not only helps in overcoming challenges but also builds resilience and a lifelong love for the sport .

Moreover, this principle holds valuable insights beyond sports. In life, too, we face challenges that can seem overwhelming if we fixate solely on the end results. Whether you’re striving for a promotion, learning a new skill, or improving personal relationships, embracing the journey allows you to celebrate small wins along the way. These small victories accumulate, much like the incremental improvements in athletic training, and they remind us that progress is a process rather than a single moment of triumph.

By appreciating every step, every training session, every setback, and every moment of progress, you learn to value the effort as much as the outcome. This approach not only reduces the pressure to win at all costs but also nurtures a healthier, more balanced perspective on success. This approach teaches us that the lessons learned in perseverance, dedication, and continual improvement are the real rewards of any journey.

For those interested in exploring these ideas further, the Self-Determination Theory website offers comprehensive insights into how intrinsic motivation drives sustained engagement and fulfillment. Additionally, platforms like Psychology Today feature accessible articles that discuss how focusing on the process rather than just the outcome can lead to greater satisfaction in both sports and everyday life.

In summary, while winning delivers an immediate thrill, it is the continuous inner drive and joy in each step of the journey that builds lasting passion and success—both on the field and in life. Embracing these principles offers valuable insights not just for sports but for life as a whole.