When the one we love passes away, we have an irreversible desire to tell their story—to ensure that they are remembered not only for the reality that they are no longer with us but for the way they lived, the difference they made, and the love they shared. Whether writing an obituary or preparing to deliver a eulogy, your words will not be mere tribute; they will be the eternal record of a life well-lived.
Begin by gathering the facts that mark the individual's path. Talking with family
and friends is perhaps the most important way to do this. Each person possesses
a different part of the story, and as a group, they paint an entire picture. Ask
them about childhood memories, professional accomplishments, hobbies, interests,
and central values. What made them laugh? What did they believe? What stories get
told again and again at family gatherings? Those moments seem to get to the heart
of who they truly are.
If you have letters, diaries, or social media presence to examine, these can provide
direct insight into their character, thinking, and perceptions of the world. Old
photographs tend to jog the memory, and sometimes, one photo can produce a complete
tale to be told.
A person's life is never just a record of dates and achievements. It is an odyssey
of experience, associations, and landmark events. One of the most effective ways
to bring this to life is to craft the story with a beginning, middle, and end. Start
with where and when they were born, and then move into the parts of life that shaped
them—family, school, work, friends, and personal struggles. Was there a moment of
crisis that shaped their life? A dream they chased? A lesson they constantly tried
to teach others? Finally, bring the story up to the present—how they lived out their
later years, what they left behind, and how they will be remembered.
If you are delivering a eulogy at a funeral, imagine that you are telling them their
story. What would they have wanted to be remembered as? What would have made them smile?
If they have a sense of humor, don't avoid inserting a lighter touch. A well-placed
anecdote about a funny or moving moment has the power to console and reunite those
grieving.
The best tributes are personal and true. Rather than tell them that they were kind,
strong, or generous, show it by a story. If they volunteered on the weekends to
coach soccer kids, tell how they yelled encouragement from the sidelines. If they
loved cooking, imagine them standing in the kitchen, hands covered in flour, singing
their favorite song. It's the small things that transform words into living memory.
Eventually, each life has a story to share. Whether their existence was one of humble dedication or public achievement, whether they traveled the world or stayed within the town where they were born, their impact upon those who met them cannot be denied. When you take the time to gather their stories and relate them with compassion, you ensure that their legacy is not merely remembered—it is felt, transmitted, and remembered in the hearts of those who loved them.