Wednesday, June 16, 2010

thinking of Fathers Day

My father was killed in an accident when I was in my early 20's and I never was able to resolve the disputes that fathers and sons grow into as boys become teens and then men. As a teen, my father and I at times did not see eye to eye on many issues, and as I think back I realize that on some of these he was correct and on others I probably was correct.

Sudden death of a parent or a partner is unsettling, and can have long term affects on a person. When my father was killed I did not know about the stages of grieving and went through the stages with my wife whose support was strong and needed. One of the interesting things that occurred is that as the oldest son, the role of what I had to do was well defined by my mom's family. Because of the expectations given to me, I was able to handle the role and fitting into the role, helped me through some of the steps in the grieving process, but during this time I was probably not a nice person to those that wanted to help and support me.

So as you think of your Father on Fathers day, enjoy the day, and embrace the feelings that you have for each other. As we grow older, many of our generation, will start to loose their parents and my wish is that you are able to resolve any and all issues that you have in a meaningful manner. As our parents become seniors, they may have a need to tell their story, I hope you take the time to listen and cherish your parents story as it is also part of your story.

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