Friday, May 13, 2011

I like this doctor

Thanks to Patti for this
Well... I HAVE heard it said that laughter's the best medicine. :)

       Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
       life.  Is this true?
       A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't
       waste on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually.  Speeding up
       heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life
       of car by driving faster.  Want to live longer?  Take nap.

       Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
       A:  No, not at all.  Wine made from fruit.  Brandy is distilled
       wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get
       even more of goodness that way.  Beer also made of grain.
       Bottom up!

       Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
       A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to
       one.  If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

       Q: What are some of  the advantages of participating in a
       regular exercise program?
       A: Can't think of single one, sorry.  My philosophy is: No

       Q:  Aren't fried foods bad for you?
       A:  YOU NOT LISTENING!  Food are fried these day in vegetable
       oil.  In fact, they permeated by it.  How could getting more
       vegetable be bad for you?!?

       Q:  Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft
       around the middle?
       A: Definitely not!  When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.
       You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

       Q:  Is chocolate bad for me?
       A:  Are you crazy?!?  HEL-LO-O!!  Cocoa bean!  Another
       vegetable!  It best feel-good food around!

       Q:  Is swimming good for your figure?
       A:  If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me.

       Q:  Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
       A:  Hey!  'Round' is shape!
       Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may
       have had about food and diets.

       And  remember:

       Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
       arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but
       rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate
       in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
       screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"


       For  those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word
       on nutrition and health.  It's a relief to know the truth after
       all those conflicting nutritional studies.

       1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart
       attacks than Americans.
       2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
       than Americans.
       3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
       attacks than Americans.
       4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart
       attacks than Americans..
       5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and
       fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

       Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what
       kills you.

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