Power of money

A crusty old man walks into the local Catholic church and
says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn
 church."

The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, Sir. I
 must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn
 church!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not
 tolerated in this church."

The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the priest's
 study to inform him of her situation.
The priest agrees that the secretary does not have to
 listen to that foul language.

They both return to her office and the priest asks the old
 geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

"There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won 20
 million dollars in the damn lottery and I want to join this
 damn church to get rid of some of this damn money."

 "I see," said the priest. "And is this witch giving you a hard time?