Thursday, September 5, 2013

Golf Jokes for the season I missed

This summer I was laid up because of my knee operation, so I did not have a chance to golf. Here are some jokes for the season I missed.

THE GOLFER GUESSED THAT HIS BALL LANDED 20 FEET OFF THE FAIRWAY. OF COURSE, THAT WAS JUST A ROUGH ESTIMATE.

YOUR GOLF ADDICTION IS DRIVING A WEDGE BETWEEN US.

A GOLFER BOUGHT TWO PAIRS OF PANTS, JUST IN CASE HE GOT A HOLE IN ONE.

TWO FUR TRADERS ONCE TOOK A GOLFING TRIP TOGETHER. THEY PLAYED A SKINS MATCH.

A LION WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON HIS WIFE. BUT A TIGER WOOD.

ANY GOLFER WILL TELL YOU THE GOSPEL TRUTH. YOUR NEXT SHOT ALWAYS DEPENDS ON THE LIE.

EVEN THOUGH HIS DRIVER AND WOODS HAD BEEN STOLEN, THE GOLFER CONTINUED TO PLAY 72 STRAIGHT HOLES FOR CHARITY. HE WAS TRULY AN IRONMAN.

HE SAID HE’D BEEN GOLFING BUT SMELLED LIKE THE OCEAN. SOMETHING FISHY WAS UP.

HE WAS TEED OFF WITH HIS BAD START, DRIVING THE BALL ALMOST BEYOND THE GREEN, BUT HE WAS ABLE TO PUTT IT BEHIND HIM.

HE WAS TEED OFF WITH HIS BAD START, DRIVING THE BALL ALMOST BEYOND THE GREEN, BUT HE WAS ABLE TO PUTT IT BEHIND HIM.

IF YOU CRASH INTO A VOLKSWAGEN GOLF, DOES THAT MAKE A HOLE IN ONE?

SHE BECAME A GOLF PROFESSIONAL TO EARN HER BREAD AND PUTTER.

GOLFERS HATE CAKE BECAUSE THEY MIGHT GET A SLICE.

HE WANTED DESPERATELY TO BE A GOOD GOLFER - YOU COULD SAY HE HAD A DRIVING AMBITION.

ANY GOLFER WILL TELL YOU THE GOSPEL TRUTH. YOUR NEXT SHOT ALWAYS DEPENDS ON THE LIE.

HE WOULD PROMISE TO PLAY GOLF, BUT HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO FOLLOW THROUGH.

IF YOU GOLF ON ELECTION DAY — CAST AN ABSENT-TEE BALLOT.

I LOVE PLAYING GOLF, BUT WHEN PUTTING I CAN NEVER CATCH A BREAK.

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