Friday, August 18, 2017

Do you pass judgement on others?

People pass judgement. It's what we do. All of us. It's a built-in, primaeval mechanism designed to keep us safe. We're constantly judging and evaluating every situation and person to see if they pose a threat to us.

Below the surface, people tend to judge others based on their own fears. When we look at someone for the first time we see a reflection of our past experiences and associations. It could be from their body language or the way they dress and behave. It is insightful to be aware of how our past can affect our present thoughts about someone else. This helps us spot clues to false or premature judging.


Some say we judge others because of body chemicals. Serotonin is one of them and it is the one that makes us feel worthy, desired and respected (among other things). We are always craving it because it feels like a million bucks. Our ancestors had learned that social dominance and respect leads to food and better mating opportunities. Now our limbic system is still programmed to release Serotonin when we feel dominant and respected among others. But it also releases Cortisol, the stress hormone when we feel undesirable and in a lower social standing compared to others. 

Cortisol makes us unhappy and urges us to do something about it. Now what we do with these chemicals is decided by the wiring of neurons in out cortex. These wirings are built by your life experiences and they decide our actions to different situations. But the primary goal is to get rid of Cortisol and get more happy chemicals.

Now when we judge others, we are trying to get rid of Cortisol by finding faults with their claims on social dominance and embolden our claim. Our judgement might release Serotonin and mask the Cortisol. If we do it regularly our neurons get wired very strongly to do it and this becomes the natural response even if doesn't make us happy or actually releases more Cortisol. It is very hard to rewire our neurones to act differently, so people keep doing this forever even if it makes them more stressed and gets them into a vicious cycle.

So, while we are aware of some of these judgements, and others are at an unconscious and deeply basic level we become prisoners of our own chemistry when we try to break our habit of being judgemental.

The reason I bring this up is to help you understand that no matter what you do in life, people will judge you because they too are at the mercy of their body chemicals. We cannot control others who judge us, but we can control our reactions to their judgement. The more we allow those judgements to impact us, the more we are going to be hurt and upset.  It is hard but try to remember that their judgement is more about them than it is about you. 

So... if you're going to be judged, why not be judged for doing what you want?

Scripture cautions us not to be harsh and judgmental of others' faults, even where they are evident because neither are we perfect and free from error. The admonition not to regard the speck in your neighbour's eye before removing the log from your own eye finds parallels in many scriptures. Rather than justify ourselves and blame others, we should look into ourselves for having such feelings of resentment.

Here are some other quotes about judgement from world religions that may help you control your impulse to judge:


Christian: “In the same way you judge others, you will be judged. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your neighbour’s eye? First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your neighbour’s eye.” (Matthew 7:2-5)

Hinduism. Garuda Purana 112 says:  Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment that you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.


The book of Leviticus in the Hebrew Bible contains codes of laws and other precepts, including statements concerning judging others: ...do not favour the poor or show deference to the rich; judge your neighbour fairly...You shall not hate your kinsman in your heart. Reprove your neighbour, but incur no guilt against your kinsfolk. Love your neighbour as yourself: I am the LORD. [19:16-17]

African Traditional Religions. Buji Proverb (Nigeria): Easily seen are others' faults, hard indeed to see are one's own. Like chaff, one winnows others' faults, but one's own one hides, as a crafty fowler conceals himself by camouflage. He who sees others' faults is ever irritable--his corruptions grow. He is far from the destruction of the corruptions.

Buddhism. Dhammapada 252-53: Happy is the person who finds fault with himself instead of finding fault with others.

Islam. Hadith:  If you want to criticise someone, first criticise yourself more than three times.

Unification Church. Sun Myung Moon, 9-30-69: Confucius said, "The gentleman calls attention to the good points in others; he does not call attention to their defects. The small man does just the reverse of this."

Confucianism: Analects 12.16: Confucius said, "The good man does not grieve that other people do not recognise his merits. His only anxiety is lest he should fail to recognise theirs."

Confucianism: Analects 1.16 Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God; as it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me and every tongue shall confess to God.  So each of us shall give account of himself to God.

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