When you move into retirement it may be a good idea to check the assumptions you hold about life that drive your values and beliefs. Beliefs are the convictions that we hold to be true, usually without proof or evidence. Beliefs are assumptions that we make about the world and our values arise from our beliefs. Beliefs are judgments about ourselves and the world around us. They are usually generalizations. Sometimes beliefs become very strongly entrenched or emotional. In this way, beliefs can influence our behaviours, even our thoughts, in very powerful ways.
Our beliefs grow from what we see, hear, experience, read and think about. From these things, we develop an opinion that we hold to be true and unmovable at that time. From our beliefs, we derive our values, which can either be correct or incorrect when compared with evidence, but nonetheless hold true for us. Beliefs also literally shape your map of reality with our values being the compass that allows us to move ahead in our own map of reality.
Reality is basically a series of assumptions we make about the world around us. Most of our assumptions are sensible. We assume the sun will rise in the morning, we assume there will be no radical changes in the laws of gravity during the day.
Most assumptions are safe. Indeed, if you were to question every assumption all day long, you'd soon go mad. However, some assumptions are not reliable, either because they are based on misunderstandings or because the bases of those assumptions have changed. For instance, for hundreds of years it was assumed that our body was filled with four humours and if they remained in balance, you remained healthy. If they got out of balance, you got ill. Medical treatments, such as bleeding sick people, were based on these assumptions and, as a result, often killed patients faster than diseases left alone would have done; particularly as there was no understanding of the importance of hygiene, sterilizing medical tools and the like.
Our values are the things that we think are important and can include equality, honesty, education, effort, perseverance, loyalty, faithfulness, conservation of the environment, etc. It is possible for our beliefs and values to differ over time as we encounter evidence or have experiences that challenge our previously held views. Conversely, our beliefs and values can also be strengthened by experience or evidence. For example, a person might have their belief in the essential goodness of human beings shaken and changed if they have a truly terrible experience.
This is why you should from time to time make a list of your assumptions. This will not be easy and I recommend you ask friends, family to help you list those assumptions. One of the most common assumptions is that we need to earn more money in order to live a better life. A consequence of this assumption is that in families, one or more of the parents ends up working long hours in a stressful workplace in order to maximize income now and promotional possibilities for the future. Those promotions typically result in greater income and greater demands at work.
As a result, the hard-working parents (more and more often, it is both parents) have little time for their children, their families and the pursuit of the dreams they had as young lovers.
Sadly, it is all too often at the deathbed that the hard workers reflect back on their lives and do not say, “by golly, I wish I had worked harder and longer hours.” No, they typically say, “I wish I had worked less and spent more time with my family.”
Because, the truth is, what your family needs most of all is not the money you earn, but you, your time, your love, your emotional participation and your physical participation. But many of us make mistaken assumptions about our lives, our partners and our families. It is important therefore to list your own personal assumptions from time to time – and to question those assumptions. Again, ask others to help you with this.
I think you will be surprised by what you learn – and eventually amazed at how much your life can improve once you question those assumptions and change behaviours based on flawed assumptions.
When you meditate over your transcendental situation, think also about the assumptions you are making in your life. Might some of those assumptions apply to your situation? If so, visualize what would happen to the situation of the relevant assumptions were wrong. This can be powerfully inspiring.
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