Facebook wisdom

Facebook has some people that post stuff that they think is interesting, and wise. So, I took the time on a rainy day to compile a number of posts that pass for Facebook wisdom, enjoy:

I Googled my symptoms: It turns out I’m just lazy.

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Getting older is just one body part after another saying, “HA HA, HA you think that’s bad? Watch this!

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Papa Bear is such a sweet may to describe the fact that I'll tear you open and eat your insides if you hurt my child. 
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It doesn’t matter who hurt you or broke you down what matters is who made you smile again. 
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Just because l disagree with you does not mean I hate you. We need to relearn that in our society. 
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I know I don't have to be sarcastic, but the world has given me so much material to work with...

I would hate to be wasteful 
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Not everyone is given the chance to grow old. So, appreciate and be thankful for every single day of your life. 
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Children raised in chaos become adults who live in chaos. Give your child a childhood they don't have to heal from. 
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Our well-behaved firstborn, gave us the confidence to be good parents. Our wild-child second kid, taught us not to judge other parents. 
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Have you ever walked up to a car that looks like yours in a parking lot and you try to open the door? “Whoops.” 
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September 22nd is the first day of Fall. Not today. Not tomorrow. Put down the pumpkin, and stop being a life ruiner.

PS. Pumpkin spice causes constipation.

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How to tell you're a senior:

· you gain 3O lbs overnight

· you would rather sleep than go out

· everything hurts

· comfort comes before style

· you have a favorite spatula

· everything feels like a chore

· college students look like they are 12 years old

· you're always annoyed at people younger than you 
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A Grandparent thinks about their Grandchildren Day and Night. Even if they are not with them, they are always in their heart.

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Parenting is wanting to be with your child forever one minute and being tempted to sell them the next. 
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If we all just switched to cursive and stick shift cars, we could cripple an entire generation. 
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When family or friends go through life not speaking to one another, the day will come when you regret it. It's called "the funeral!" 
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Someone posted they had just baked some synonym buns. I replied, you mean just like the one’s grammar use to make? Now I'm blocked. 
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"You are still a Rock-star”, I whisper to myself as I take my multivitamin & climb in bed at 9:45 
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The older I get the earlier it gets late. 
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Me: “ALEXA, remind me to go to the gym.”

ALEXA: “I have added gin to your shopping list.” 
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Never walk a mile in my shoes. You'll just end up Drunk, Lost, and looking for your shoes! 
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Don’t compare your life to others. There's no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it's their time. 
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Accept the good in your life. Like me. I am a fantastic delight. 
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To the person that stole my glasses. I will find you. I have contacts. 
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And finally a question, “What's the right age to Stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?  
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