Wednesday, January 8, 2020

East coast Canadian Humour


NEWFIE MEDICAL DICTIONARY
Artery                                 The study of painting’s
Bacteria                              Back door to the cafeteria
Barium                               What doctors do when patients die
Benign                                What you be after you be eight
Caesarean Section              A neighbourhood in Rome
Catscan                               Searching for Kitty
Cauterize                            Made eye contact with her
Colic                                   A sheepdog
Coma                                  A punctuation mark
Dilate                                  To live long
Enema                                Not a friend
Fester                                  Quicker than someone else
Fibula                                 A small lie
Impotent                              Distinguished; well known
Labour Pain                         Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff                       A Doctor’s cane
Morbid                                 A higher offer
Nitrates                                Cheaper than day rates
Outpatient.                           A patient who fainted
Pelvis                                   Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative                     A letter carrier
Recovery Room                   A place to do upholstery
Rectum                                 Nearly killed him
Secretion                              Hiding something
Seizure                                 Roman emperor
Tablet                                   Small Table
Terminal Illness                  Getting sick at the airport
Tumour                               One plus one more
Urine                                   Opposite of your out

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