Some bad dad jokes

Happy birthday and I hope you enjoy your special day and the following Dad jokes

If you were a child when the song “Red, Red Wine: was released

UB40’ish now

 If a car told its life story, would it be an autobiography?

 Shout out to the people who ask what the opposite of in is

 

Why can’t the ocean take an off-colour joke?

Because it is too salty.

Why do ghosts love to eat health food so much?

Because it is Supernatural.

 

I once knew a guy who wanted to open a pastry shop

He could not raise the dough

 

I once had a job building Egyptian Tombs

Turned out it a pyramid scheme.

 

Did you know that the Mississippi river is a girl?

If it was a boy, it would be the Misterssippi river.

 

I never wanted to believe that my brother was stealing from his job as a roadworker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

 

A cannibal is a person who is fed up with people

 

What kind of tea do rich people buy?

Property.

 

I know I am in a serious relationship with my girlfriend.

I have not laughed in two years.

 

People asked me why I wanted to become a film editor.

Well, to cut a long story short…

 

What is blue but not heavy?

Light blue

 

My teachers said I would never amount to much because I procrastinate

I said, “Just you wait.”

 

I just got a job at Old MacDonald’s Farm

I am the new CIEIO

 

I had to break up with my archeologist's girlfriend.

She kept digging up the past.

 

My friend is trying to convince me to invest in his sword company.

He makes some really good points.

Yoda, are we headed in the right direction?

Off course, we are.

 

Gonna go for a run after my next bowl of Lucky Charms

 

I know a guy who completed his Ph.D. in Palindromes

 He is now known as “Dr. Awkward”