A few Murphy Laws and work history

 Some oldies but goodies to help lift the mood in the middle of one of the darkest months of the year.

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

The road to success?? Is always under construction.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

To get a loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, or fattening.

Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

Everyone has a scheme of getting rich which never works.

If at first, you don't succeed…Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

You can never determine which side of the bread to butter.

If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.

Anything dropped on the floor will rollover to the most inaccessible corner.

42.7% of all statistics are made on the spot.

If you have paper, you don't have a pen. If you have a pen, you don't have paper. If you have both, no one calls.

After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.

The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits.

It's Not Easy Finding a Job...

At my first job, I was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I just couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that, I tried being a tailor, but I wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

Next, I tried working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because I got tired of the same old grind.

Then, I tried being a chef - I figured it would add spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

Next, I tried working in a deli, but anyway I sliced it, I just couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was as a musician, but I eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied for a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

Next up was a job in a shoe factory - I tried hard, but I just didn't fit in.

After that, I became a fisherman, but I discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

Next, I managed to get a job at a pool maintenance company, but the work was too draining.

So, after that, I got a job at a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, but I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was when I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

So, I tried retirement! And I Found I'm PERFECT for the Job!