Celebration of life or an ego trip?

There is an old song by Ricky Nelson, called Garden Party. In the lyrics, Ricky sings about the time he went to perform at a concert at Madison Square Gardens in  New York City.

I went to a garden party
To reminisce with my old friends
A chance to share old memories
Play our songs again
When I got to the garden party
They all knew my name
No one recognized me
I didn't look the same

But it's all right now
I learned my lesson well
You see, you can't please everyone
So you got to please yourself

People came from miles around
Everyone was there
Yoko brought her walrus
There was magic in the air
And over in the corner
Much to my surprise
Mr Hughes hid in Dylan's shoes
Wearing his disguise

But it's all right now
I learned my lesson well
You see, you can't please everyone
So you got to please yourself

Lot-da-da
Lot-in-da-da-da

Played them all the old songs
I thought that's why they came
No one heard the music
Didn't look the same
I said hello to "Mary Lou"
She belongs to me
When I sang a song about a honky-tonk
It was time to leave

But it's all right now
I learned my lesson well
You see, you can't please everyone
So you got to please yourself

Lot-da-da
Lot-in-da-da-da

Someone opened up a closet door
And out stepped Johnny B Goode
Playing guitar like a-ringin' a bell
And lookin' like he should
Now if you gotta play at garden parties
I wish you a lotta luck
But if memories were all I sang
I'd rather drive a truck

And it's all right now
I learned my lesson well
See, you can't please everyone
So you got to please yourself

Lot-da-da (lot-da-da-da)
Lot-in-da-da-da

And it's all right now, yeah
I learned my lesson well
You see, you can't please everyone
So you got to please yourself

This is a wonderful song about the need to be yourself and be true to yourself. I wish people who decide to hold celebrations of life would be true to the person they are honouring. Many are but some are not. I don't think it is because people are trying to be disrespectful but I think they need to be reminded to be true to the values of the deceased.

At my age, I am starting to lose friends and have had the opportunity to go to a number of celebrations of life in the past few months. All of them are nice and respectful but a couple bothered me. 

At the latest one, the Minister said at the beginning words to this effect. "We are here for three reasons, the first is to bask in the glory of God, the second is to be reminded that Jesus is in the way of the light and the third is that Jesus is our saviour." My first thought was what about the person who died, are we not here to honour his life. I knew the deceased was an atheist; later in the service the Minister, who did not know the deceased said, "Although (the deceased) might not agree with the words in the bible, the deceased did embrace the underlying principles of the bible when he lived his life as he was a good, caring, compassionate man." 

I watched his wife who is religious and the Ministers words seemed to comfort her. His sons did speak about their father as a man and honoured his life, but in the two-hour celebration of life, only about 45 minutes were specifically about him. The rest of the service was about god.

I only wish that when planning a celebration of life, be true to the person you are honouring so they can go out on their terms.