The Roman emperor's wife hates playing hide and seek because wherever she goes, Julius Caesar.
I like what mechanics wear, overall.
If you are being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead.
I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn't get pasta.
My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him, “Don't be Sicily.”
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
I'm reading a book about teleportation. It's bound to take me places.
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
I used to have a job crushing cans. It was soda pressing.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
I'm not a fan of stairs. They're always up to something.
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
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