More Dad jokes

Food prices are getting higher and people are rightfully upset, so here are 62 Dad jokes about the food industry to help lighten the day.   This post was inspired by a one liner in a newsletter I receive from Kim Komando at Komando.com. Her jpun is the last one.

1.   The bakery apprentice wanted to lead the sourdough class, but the chef said no. He just wasn’t bread-y.

2.   The butcher asked to work in produce, but the manager refused. He couldn’t cut it.

3.   The florist wanted to run the cash register, but the owner declined. She kept giving customers change in bouquets.

4.   The fisherman applied at the shoe store, but they sent him home. He only knew how to scale up.

5.   The librarian wanted to become a baker, but the interview went poorly. She kept checking out the rolls.

6.   The gardener asked to join the orchestra, but the conductor said no. He had too many roots in jazz.

7.   The mattress salesman wanted to be a comedian, but nobody hired him. His jokes kept putting people to sleep.

8.   The clockmaker tried to become a therapist, but it didn’t work out. He kept saying everyone needed more time.

9.   The dentist applied at the candy shop, but the owner passed. He was too drill-serious about sweets.

10. The tailor wanted to manage the zipper factory, but they turned him down. He couldn’t keep it together.

11. he electrician asked to host karaoke night, but the bar said no. He kept shocking the audience.

12. The potato farmer wanted to become a news anchor, but the station declined. He only reported on current starches.

13. The locksmith wanted to teach yoga, but the studio refused. He couldn’t open up.

14. The painter applied to be a lifeguard, but the pool said no. He only knew how to brush up.

15. The chicken farmer wanted to run the egg counter, but the grocer objected. He kept cracking under pressure.

16. The mapmaker wanted to become a motivational speaker, but the agency passed. He couldn’t get to the point.

17. The shoe repairman wanted to lead the hiking club, but they rejected him. He had too many sole interests.

18. The candle maker asked to work security, but the mall said no. He kept letting things slide.

19. The carpenter wanted to become a magician, but the theater declined. His act was too wooden.

20. The cheese monger tried to become a judge, but the court refused. He was too grate with evidence.

21. The janitor wanted to be a DJ, but the club said no. He kept sweeping the floor.

22. The beekeeper asked to manage the deli, but the owner declined. He was always buzzing around the honey ham.

23. The plumber wanted to work in fashion, but the designer said no. His ideas were all pipe dreams.

24. The astronomer applied at the coffee shop, but the manager passed. He only knew how to serve space lattes.

25. The glassblower wanted to become a negotiator, but the firm refused. He was too transparent.

26. The accordion player asked to run the elevator, but the hotel said no. He kept pressing all the buttons.

27. The tailor’s assistant wanted to be a lawyer, but the firm passed. He kept losing the thread.

28. The baker asked to be a banker, but the branch declined. He kept making too much dough.

29. The fishmonger wanted to coach baseball, but the team refused. He kept calling for more catch of the day.

30. The fruit seller applied to be a therapist, but the clinic said no. He kept telling people to peel better.

31. The grocery bagger begged to run the new juicing machine, but the manager turned him down. Baggers can’t be juicers.