The Neutral Zone – Where the Magic Happens

If making an ending is the first part of transition, the neutral zone is the second. This is the heart of liminal space. It is the time between the old and the new, when everything is up in the air.

William Bridges described the neutral zone as a time of chaos, "that state of pure energy that is experienced either as a jumble or a time of empty nothingness." It makes us feel out of control and a little crazy.

But it is also chock-full of creative potential. It is a time of possibility.

The problem is that most of us cannot stand the uncertainty. We want to get through the neutral zone as fast as possible. We leap to the first new thing that comes along, hoping it will make us feel comfortable again. And in doing so, we miss the opportunity that the neutral zone offers.

The primary task of the neutral zone is waiting. And waiting is hard.

But while you wait, there are things you can do.

First, schedule a new experience at least once a week. Wander through a toy store. Take a walking tour of your own town. Visit a museum you have never been to. Try something you have never done before. These small adventures keep you open to possibility.

Second, pay attention to meaningful coincidences. Carl Jung called this synchronicity. They are often arrows pointing the way to your next step. When you notice them, pay attention.

Third, imagine possibilities without settling too quickly. Creative visualization can help you rehearse each possibility to see what feels right.

Fourth, access your creativity in whatever form works for you. Plant a garden. Paint a picture. Write a poem. Creative acts are both soothing and supportive of self-understanding.

Fifth, meditate. Meditation is enormously helpful in managing anxiety and getting used to waiting peacefully.

For a senior, the neutral zone might be the months or years after retirement when you are still figuring out what you want to do with your time. It might be the period after a loss when you are learning to live alone. It might be the time after a move when you are building a new community.

Be patient with yourself. You are not failing. You are transforming. What would it feel like to stop fighting the uncertainty of your transition and instead settle into it, just for a while?