Trusting Your Choices: How to Make Confident Decisions

Every day, we make hundreds of small choices—what to eat for breakfast, which route to take on a walk, whether to call an old friend. But some decisions in retirement feel heavier. Should you downsize your home? Is it the right time to dip into your savings for a dream vacation? What’s the best way to maintain your health and independence?

It’s easy to get stuck in indecision, especially when the stakes are high. The good news? Decision-making is a skill you can strengthen, just like a muscle. And today, we’re going to build on what we’ve already discussed by adding a powerful tool: The “Regret Test.”

The Regret Test: A Simple Way to Clarify Your Choices

One of the biggest obstacles to good decision-making is fear—fear of making the wrong choice, fear of missing out, fear of regret. But instead of letting that fear paralyze you, we can use it as a guide.

The next time you’re facing a tough decision, ask yourself:

If I fast-forward five years, which choice would I regret more—doing this or not doing this?

This question forces you to think beyond the immediate emotions and consider the long-term impact. Often, we avoid decisions because of short-term discomfort, but our future selves might wish we had taken action.

A Real-World Example: Travel Now or Later?

Let’s say you’re debating whether to take that bucket-list trip you’ve always dreamed about. The practical side of you is worried about spending the money. What if you need it later? But on the other hand, you’re healthy now, and the opportunity is in front of you.

Applying the Regret Test: Imagine yourself five years from now. Would you regret having spent the money, or would you regret missing out on an experience that might not be as easy in the future?

Sometimes, the real challenge isn’t memory loss—it’s the pressure we put on ourselves to make every decision perfectly. Instead of seeing decision-making as a test of your memory or intelligence, try viewing it as a process of discovery.

A great way to do this is by changing the lens through which you view the decision. For instance:

Imagine advising a friend – If someone you care about were facing the same choice, what would you say to them? Often, we give others clearer, more compassionate advice than we give ourselves.

Ask yourself, “Will this matter a year from now?” – This simple question can help you distinguish between major, long-term decisions and smaller choices that don’t require as much energy.

Reframe uncertainty as an opportunity – Instead of feeling stuck when you don’t have all the answers, try looking at it as a chance to explore options. Decisions are rarely final—most can be adjusted over time.

For example, let’s say you’re trying to decide whether to downsize your home. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by all the variables, you might reframe it as an experiment in simpler living. You could start by renting a smaller place for a few months to see how it feels before making a final commitment.

A shift in perspective makes decision-making feel less like a high-stakes test and more like an opportunity to shape your future in a way that works for you.

4. Break down complex decisions

Big decisions can feel overwhelming, especially when they involve a lot of moving pieces—whether it’s deciding on a new place to live, choosing between different retirement plans, or figuring out how to structure your healthcare options. When faced with such decisions, try breaking them down into smaller, more manageable steps.

Instead of tackling everything at once, focus on one element at a time. For instance, when deciding on retirement housing, don’t try to consider all factors at once—start by thinking about whether you want to live independently or in a community setting. Then, narrow it down further: do you prefer a city or rural setting? Do you need specific healthcare facilities nearby?

This shift in perspective often brings surprising clarity.

Strengthening Your Confidence in Decisions

The more you practice this type of thinking, the more confident you’ll become in your choices. And if a decision still feels unclear, try these extra steps:

1. Write it Down – Putting your thoughts on paper often reveals insights you didn’t realize you had.

2. Talk it Through – A trusted friend or family member can offer a different perspective.

3. Set a Deadline – Don’t let decisions linger endlessly. Give yourself a reasonable time to decide, and then commit.

Your Challenge This Thursday 

Think about a decision you’ve been putting off—big or small. Apply the Regret Test and see if it helps you move forward with more confidence.

Remember, there’s no such thing as a perfect decision, only the best decision you can make with the information you have. Trust yourself, take action, and keep strengthening that decision-making muscles

How do you make decisions about change

I was thinking about changes as I wrestled with a problem a while back, and realized that I had to make a decision between two types of change offered to me. The first was an incremental change that would cause a small shift in process and procedures, but would not cause any radical shift to occur.

The change although small would however, take the group I was making the decision for in a different direction but this would be done over time. Slow change is comfortable, easy to get used to and not a shock to the mind or body and easy to handle especially in these unsettled times.

The other change was a more dramatic shift, dealing with unknowns and would cause the group to change more quickly. This type of change is unsettling, can be dramatic and is unsettling. When I was younger there would have been no hesitation on my part, I would have gone for the dramatic change and not even thought too long about it. However, as I mature, (not grow older) I had to think carefully about how my decision would influence and affect others, perhaps I am getting more empathetic as I become wiser :-0, who knows.

The decision was not easy and I spend a great deal of time weighing pros and cons, examining possible consequences, and went through some not sleepless, but restless nights. I finally made the same decision I would have made in my youth, and who knows where the path will lead. 

I am comfortable in the decision and comfortable with the change that will happen. Being successful relies in part on making wise decisions and part of doing that is relying on good information. With maturity I took the time to weigh all possible options, however I made the decison based on my first instinct. The process was interesting, and helped me realize that over time my first instinct still is as sharp as it was when I was younger. So I still think going with your first instincts can make sense. My question how do you make decisions and are you comfortable with the results of the decisions?

Thoughts on Stress.

The last weekend of summer before school starts in BC is hopefully a time for parents, teachers, administrators, students and others connected to schools to take a deep breath and to relax before the stress of  next week sets in.

We all know what excessive stress can do to your energy. We begin with a quote from Dr. Barnet Meltzer, who is perhaps the most renowned doctor of preventative medicine in the United States.

“Stress is the tax you pay for not taking 100% responsibility for your life.” —Dr. Barnet Meltzer

Although we all talk about stress, it often isn't clear that we know what stress is really about.  There are many schools of thought about what stress means, here are two ideas to think about. Many of us consider stress to be something that happens to us, the event could be an injury or a promotion, falling in/out of love. Others think that stress is what happens to their bodies, minds and behaviours in response to an event (e.g. heart pounding, anxiety, or nail biting).  Interesting idea I believe that while stress does involve events and our response to them, these are not the most important factors. The most important factor in my mind is our thoughts about the situations in which we find ourselves.


When something happens I believe that we automatically evaluate the situation. We decide if it is threatening to us. Threatening is not just a physical threat, the threat could be to our ego, our self esteem, our health or our energy. We decide how we need to deal with the situation, and what skills we have and can use. If we decide that the demands of the situation outweigh the skills we have, then we may label the situation as "stressful" and react with the classic "stress response". If we decide that our coping skills outweigh the demands of the situation, then we don't see it as "stressful".  This response may be automatic or it may take a while for us to process the information we receive and so the response may be delayed.

Because of the paradigms in which we see ourselves interacting with the world we all see situations differently and each of us has access to different coping skills. No two people will respond exactly the same way to a given situation.

Additionally, not all situations that are labelled "stressful" are negative. The birth of a child, being promoted or moving to a new home may not be perceived as threatening. However, we may feel that situations are "stressful" because we don't feel fully prepared to deal with them.

All situations in life can be stress-provoking, but it is our thoughts about situations that determine whether they are a problem to us.  How we perceive a stress-provoking event and how we react to it determines its impact on our health. We may be motivated and invigorated by the events in our lives, or we may see some as "stressful" and respond in a manner that may have a negative effect on our physical, mental and social well-being. If we we always respond in a negative way our health and happiness may suffer. By understanding ourselves and our reactions to stress-provoking situations, we can learn to handle stress more effectively.

Last comment on Mr. Bubble cop

A few posts ago, I talked about this video from the G20 and I suggest the officer one
Adam Josephs (Male),  Badge #: 731 be fired and the post was angry. I detest the abuse of power and authority  and reacted to his actions in a negative way. I should not have done that I should have done what the folks at Creative revolution did which was to create a game with Adam's picture, which allows us to use good old fashioned ridicule and scorn to react to his actions. I should have been more creative. Here are some of my suggestions for Adam and his superior officers. First show this video from Stan Frieberg about bubbles so that Adam can overcome his fear of bubbles. If he does not want to watch the bubble then I suggest Adam be ordered to stay away from parks, beaches, or playgrounds where young children may be playing with bubbles, as he may go crazy and beat up/bust some three year old for assault.

If Adam is still allowed out, even if he has a fear of bubbles then people when they see him should consider blowing bubbles, now Adam will arrest you if he sees you blowing bubbles out of soap, so perhaps people could blow bubbles from gum.

Perhaps some of the good people of  Canada could send Adam a stick or two of bubble gum, so he could learn to not be afraid of bubbles.

Adam you have done your family proud, as you have forever linked the name of Joseph with the fear of bubbles.  Someone could create a bubble doll of Adam but that might scare the man.

Adam's fear of bubbles may affect his police work, but his superiors probably are just as afraid of bubbles as Adam is. According to the information Adam graduated from Harvey Collegiate in 1979 and so is probable in his late 40's, so I suspect he has not moved very far up the ranks in the police because his fear of bubbles may have interfered with his ability to be promoted.  His facebook page states his occupation as "I collect Human garbage."  so perhaps some of the Human garbage in his city of Toronto, could help Adam by recycling their bubble gum and sending it to him, to help him overcome his fear of bubbles.

Adam, I don't think would have the ability to act independently would however, respond to orders, so there should be a inquiry on who ordered Adam to face down the bubble brigade. I suspect that there will be no inquiry because the conservative Prime Minister Steven Harper would have told the police they had no fear of being charged or arrested as a result of their actions. So I suggest that Steven Harper be called the Bubble King and Adam can still hold the title of Bubble cop.

On reflection anger at Adam's action is counterproductive, lets laugh at him instead. Laughter is the best medicine and thanks to the great people at A Creative Revolution for reminding me or that!

Not quitting

As I watched he young man in the wheelchair talk to the students about his story, I realized that even though he was sponsored by ICBC (the Insurance Corporation of British Columbia), he was speaking from the heart. As a teenager growing up the young man had made some from his own admission foolish mistakes, and (his words) was cocky and never thought anything could happen to him. Up until his accident, he told the audience I was lucky, but luck does not last forever. He described the events leading up to his accident, his little decisions that had tragic consequences, ending with an accident that claimed his friends life and caused him to be paralyzed from the chest down.

He spoke from the heart and the audience listened, and heard what he had to say. Personal tragedy and remorse have helped the speaker as he tries to help others, not follow in his footsteps.He was taking responsibility for his actions and spoke to the pain of losing his friend and the grief he had caused his and his friends family. I watched the room and the students were focused, and hearing the words and the emotion. Around Grad time at high schools we sometimes have to have speakers who have faced and overcome personal tradegy come to speak to our grads so they will not make bad decisions.