Life expectancy is improving

 Life expectancy has mushroomed around the globe in recent decades, primarily because of advances in medicine, public health, and living conditions. Factors such as improved access to clean water, vaccination programs, and better nutrition have all contributed to this trend. Medical advancements in areas such as cancer treatment and heart disease have also played a significant role. However, it should also be noted that life expectancy can vary between countries and regions and that access to healthcare and other resources can have a major impact on life expectancy.

For example, in September 2018, the Office for National Statistics confirmed that, in the UK, at least, life expectancy has stopped increasing. Beyond the UK, these gains are slowing worldwide.

In recent years, life expectancy in the UK and other countries has plateaued or even decreased sometimes. There are a variety of factors that may contribute to this trend, such as increasing rates of obesity and diabetes, as well as the opioid epidemic in some countries. In the UK specifically, the National Health Service (NHS) has been under significant strain due to budget constraints and an aging population, which may impact overall health outcomes.

While the overall trend may have slowed, the improvements in life expectancy have been significant over the past century and have led to a vastly improved quality of life for many people around the world.

Also, it’s important to note that life expectancy is a wide variety of factors, including genetics, lifestyle choices, and access to healthcare that can influence complex metrics that influence life expectancy. It’s possible that the plateauing or decreasing of life expectancy in certain areas may result from a combination of these factors.

Life expectancy and lifespan are related but distinct concepts. Life expectancy refers to the average number of years that a person born in a particular place and time can expect to live, based on current mortality rates. It is a statistical measure that considers the mortality rates of a population and does not account for individual variations in genetics or lifestyle.

Can listening to chirps and trills of birds decrease anxiety and paranoia?

Listening to the chirps and trills of birds can decrease anxiety and paranoia, according to a new study out of Germany. The study, published on October 13, 2022, tested the effects of traffic noise and birdsong on 295 randomly selected participants, who listened to a few minutes of typical city traffic noise and bird choruses at low and high frequencies. Participants performed cognitive tests and filled out questionnaires assessing mental health before and after the experiment.

This is one of several other studies with some evidence to suggest that listening to the sounds of nature, including birdsong, can have a calming effect and may help to reduce feelings of anxiety and paranoia. Studies have shown that exposure to natural sounds, such as birdsong, can lower heart rate, blood pressure, and stress hormones, and can also improve mood and cognitive function.

One study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health found that participants who listened to a 10-minute recording of birdsong experienced a significant reduction in symptoms of anxiety and depression compared to those who listened to silence.

A study published in the Journal of Advanced Nursing found that listening to a nature soundscape, which included birdsong, for just 15 minutes significantly reduced symptoms of anxiety and improved mood in a group of women with breast cancer.

Another study published in the journal Landscape and Urban Planning found that participants who lived in neighbourhoods with more green space and natural sounds, including birdsong, reported lower levels of stress and better mental health compared to those living in more urban areas.

These are just a few examples, but there are many other studies that have found similar results, showing that exposure to natural sounds, including birdsong, may have a positive impact on mental health and well-being.

However, it should be noted that more research is needed to fully understand the relationship between birdsong and mental health. It is important to note that every individual is unique and what may work for one person may not work for another. 

What is the concept of reinvented capitalism?

What goes around, comes around is the old saying. I have been hearing and reading about reinvented capitalism as if it were a new idea. Reinvented capitalism is not a new concept. We have discussed the idea of incorporating social and environmental responsibility into capitalism for decades. In the 1970s, the concept of corporate social responsibility (CSR) emerged, which calls for companies to consider the impact of their actions on society and the environment. In recent years, there has been renewed interest in the idea of “reinventing” capitalism, with increasing calls for businesses to adopt a more sustainable and fair approach to capitalism. Some of the key drivers of this renewed interest include growing concerns about income inequality, climate change, and the role of business in society.

The advocates of reinvented capitalism describe it as a fresh approach to capitalism that incorporates social and environmental responsibility. This approach emphasizes the need for businesses to balance their pursuit of profit with their impact on society and the environment. It calls for companies to consider the long-term consequences of their actions, rather than solely focusing on short-term gains. Reinvented capitalism also includes the idea of stakeholder capitalism, where companies prioritize the interests of all stakeholders, including employees, customers, suppliers, and the community, besides shareholders.

Those who question it may say that reinvented capitalism is a form of socialism. Reinvented capitalism is not socialism. Socialism is an economic and political system in which the means of production, distribution, and exchange are owned and controlled by the community, typically through the government. Reinvented capitalism is an economic system in which private individuals and businesses own and control the means of production, distribution, and exchange, but with added emphasis on social and environmental responsibility. Reinvented capitalism calls for businesses to consider the impact of their actions on society and the environment, but it does not call for the government to control the means of production. Instead, it calls for companies to adopt a more sustainable and fair approach to capitalism by prioritizing the interests of all stakeholders, including employees, customers, suppliers, and the community, besides shareholders.

Beauty standards

 “She ain’t pretty. She just looks that way,” are the song lyrics from an old song from 1990 written and performed by the Northern Pikes, which I heard on the radio the other day. 

The song suggests that the girl the writer falls in love with is beautiful on the outside, but she is not a beautiful person on the inside. Beauty is subjective and based on perception rather than an inherent quality of a person. Some people may find a certain individual to be attractive, while others may not, and this can depend on a variety of factors, such as cultural and personal preferences.

Beauty standards have changed over time and can vary between cultures and historical periods. In Western societies, for example, the idealized beauty standard for women has shifted from a curvy figure in the early 20th century to a thin and athletic figure in the 21st century. Some culturally idealized beauty standards also change through time like in East Asia culture. The ideal for women is to have fair skin and double eyelids. In the past century, beauty ideals have also become more diverse, as society has become more accepting of unique beauty.

Various forms of media and advertising have played a role in shaping beauty standards by promoting certain images and ideals. The fashion and beauty industries, in particular, have had a significant impact on shaping what is attractive.

It’s important to remember that even though beauty standards can change over time and vary between cultures, it is important not to fall into the trap of thinking that you should conform to a certain standard, beauty is a multidimensional and complex concept, that has many forms. Some ways to define beauty include:

Physical attractiveness: This definition focuses on the physical appearance of a person or object and is often linked to symmetrical features, healthy appearance, and youthfulness.

Aesthetic appeal. This definition focuses on the balance and harmony of an object or person, and how pleasing it is to the senses.

Inner beauty: This definition focuses on qualities such as kindness, compassion, and integrity, and emphasizes the importance of inner qualities over outward appearance.

Cultural context. This definition emphasizes the cultural and societal influences on what is beautiful. Different cultures have different ideals of beauty, that’s why it’s considered a multidimensional and complex concept.

Each definition of beauty is valid and depends on context and perspective. Beauty can also encompass different things for different people. One person might find beauty in the simplicity of a landscape, while another might find it in the complexity of a city.

Overall, beauty is a subjective concept different people can interpret and experience that differently. Which form of beauty do you find attractive?

Fear and supersition

 Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.– Bertrand Russell

Fear can certainly be a powerful emotion that can drive people to act in irrational or superstitious ways. It can also lead people to engage in cruel behaviour, whether to protect themselves or as a way of lashing out at others. However, fear is not the only source of superstition or cruelty. There are many other factors that can contribute to these behaviours, including a lack of education, cultural beliefs and traditions, and a desire for power or control. It is essential to recognize the complex psychological and social factors that can influence human behaviour and to strive to understand and address these underlying issues in order to promote more positive and compassionate behaviour.

There are many other factors that can contribute to these behaviours, including ignorance, cultural practices, group dynamics, and psychological biases.

Ignorance can lead people to believe in superstitions or engage in cruel actions because they do not have accurate information about the world and how it works. For example, if someone does not understand the science behind a natural disaster, they may attribute it to a supernatural cause and engage in rituals or sacrifices to appease the gods.

Cultural practices and group dynamics play a role in superstition and cruelty. Some cultural practices may include superstitions or rituals that are passed down through generations and are considered a normal part of life. Group dynamics can lead people to conform to the beliefs and behaviours of the group, even if they do not believe in them.

Psychological biases can also influence superstitious and cruel behaviours. For example, confirmation bias, the tendency to interpret information that confirms one’s pre-existing beliefs, can lead people to believe in superstitions and engage in cruel actions, even when there is evidence to the contrary.

Overall, superstition and cruelty can arise from a complex interplay of factors, including fear, ignorance, cultural practices, group dynamics, and psychological biases. In many societies, they passed superstitions down from generation to generation and can become deeply ingrained in the culture. These superstitions can often involve beliefs about the supernatural or the occult and can explain unusual events or make predictions about the future.

Group dynamics can also contribute to superstition and cruelty. For example, when people are part of a group, they may feel pressure to conform to the beliefs and practices of that group, even if they do not believe in them. This can lead to people taking part in superstitious or cruel practices in which they might not otherwise engage.

It’s important to recognize the role that cultural practices and group dynamics can play in superstition and cruelty and to be aware of the potential for these practices to harm others. It’s also important to remember that it’s always possible to question and challenge these practices, and to work towards creating a more compassionate and understanding society.

Reducing the backfire effect in others and yourself

The backfire effect is a cognitive bias, meaning that you can use general debiasing techniques in order to counter it effectively. Such strategies include, for example, increasing people’s awareness of this bias, using simpler explanations, and changing the way you present information.

This means that when you’re talking to people to change their stance on something, you need to remember that how you present information is just as important as what information you present if you want to avoid a backfire effect. You need to display the new information in a non-confrontational manner, that allows people to internalize the additional facts, and reach the conclusion that you want them to reach themselves.

If you truly want to get your point across, then remember that attacking the other person for having the ‘wrong’ opinion, no matter how misguided it might be, is unlikely to work, since it will probably just put them in a defensive mindset, where they’re not willing to accept new evidence. This is especially important to keep in mind because if people perceive you as uncivil or hostile, they are more likely to doubt the validity of your argument, even if the argument itself is rational and well-founded.

Besides reducing the backfire effect other people experience, you can also use your understanding of this bias in order to reduce the degree to which you experience it yourself. This causes being critical of how you process new information, which will allow you to think in a more rational way and to make better decisions.

The basic way to reduce your own backfire effect is to be aware of its influence and to change how you react when you encounter information that contradicts your beliefs.

Specifically, when you encounter such information, you should not ignore it outright or immediately try to explain why it’s wrong. Instead, you should first try to look at it with fresh eyes, and assess it based on its own merit, without comparing it to your pre-existing theory on the topic.

 Beyond this, you can use the techniques that we saw above, as well as other debiasing techniques that can help you avoid this bias. These techniques revolve primarily around getting you to process new information in a conscious manner, instead of reacting to it intuitively, which helps ensure you will give new information the chance that it deserves.

The backfire effect occurs primarily because when people argue strongly enough against unwelcome information, they end up, in their mind, with more arguments that support their original stance.

If you’re trying to explain to someone the issues with their stance, you can mitigate the backfire effect by presenting new information in a way that encourages the other person to consider and internalize that information, instead of rejecting it outright.

There is variability in terms of when people are influenced by this effect, and there are situations where people don’t experience a backfire effect when they are shown information which contradicts their beliefs. However, since this variability is difficult to predict, it’s better to assume that the backfire effect will play a role in people’s thought processes and to act accordingly.

 

 

 

Why people experience the backfire effect

People experience the backfire effect because of the process that they go through when they encounter information that contradicts their pre-existing beliefs.

Essentially, when a person encounters information which suggests that their current beliefs are wrong, they feel threatened, which causes them to generate a variety of negative emotions. This is especially likely when the beliefs in question are crucial to their self-concept, so they represent an important part of that person’s identity and ideology.

The negative emotions that people generate end up negatively affecting their ability to accept the corrective information that they encountered, by increasing the likelihood that they will refuse to process it properly, and by increasing the likelihood that they will attempt to discount it.

People who often attempt to discount and reject corrective information that they encounter may experience the backfire effect sometimes. Specifically, in their attempt to reject corrective information, people will first attempt to recall pre-existing knowledge that they can use in their arguments, which could cause to reinforce that knowledge in their minds, and therefore increase their support of their pre-existing beliefs.

When people argue against unwelcome information strongly enough, they often end up with more arguments to support their stance. This can cause them to believe that there is more proof to support their viewpoint than there was before they were presented with the unwelcome evidence, which can cause them to support their original stance more strongly than they previously did.

How to reduce the bias blind spot in others

There are several things that you can do to reduce the bias blind spot in other people, in order to help them become more aware of their biases and of how those biases influence their reasoning:

Explain what the bias blind spot is, and how it affects people, potentially using relevant examples.

Explain that everyone is susceptible to the bias blind spot, including them, and including people who are intelligent and good at critical thinking.

Explain the major causes of this bias (naïve realism, the introspection illusion, and ego-related needs), and ask if they think these factors could currently influence them, and if not, then why not?

Ask them if it’s they think that it’s possible that they’re currently experiencing the bias blind spot or any other biases. Then, ask them to justify their answer, especially if they say “no”, and also ask them to consider what things, in particular, might bias their reasoning.

Encourage them to assess their situation in a self-distanced manner, for example by considering whether someone else, and especially someone with an opposing stance than them, could be biased if they were in the same situation.

If you see they experience a specific bias or have a specific issue with their reasoning, ask them about it or point it out directly.

Help or encourage them to use general debiasing techniques, such as slowing down their reasoning process and making it explicit.

However, as when trying to reduce your own bias blind spot, keep in mind that you likely won’t be able to eliminate other people’s bias blind spot entirely, and that you might not reduce it at all. Even if you reduce people’s bias blind spot, that doesn’t mean that you’ll be able to reduce the biases that it was hiding.

Overall, to reduce the bias blind spot in others, explain what this bias is and that everyone—including them—are susceptible to it, outline the causes of this bias and ask them if they might be influenced by these causes, ask them if they might experience this bias and whether other people in their situation might experience it, point out specific issues with their reasoning, and help or encourage them to use general debiasing techniques.

The bias blind spot was first described in a 2002 study titled “The Bias Blind Spot: Perceptions of Bias in Self Versus Others”, published by Stanford University researchers Emily Pronin, Daniel Y. Lin, and Lee Ross in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (Volume 28, Issue 3, pages 369–381).

The Bias Blind Spot: People Are Often Unaware of Their Own Biases

Have you ever been in a discussion with someone and realized that you would never change their mind because you cannot agree on the facts? We know that we have biases, but we assume, incorrectly, that we are aware of our biases and assume that they’re less susceptible to biases than others. All of us have a blind spot about our own biases, which can strongly influence us in a variety of domains, so it’s important to understand it.

One example of the bias blind spot is that, when we are asked to assess a social conflict, we often assume that our own interpretation of it is fair. However, we often assume that other people’s interpretations of it will be biased. We assume this even when we have a clearly biased because of liking the individual in the conflict.

In addition, the following are examples of other ways in which the bias blind spot can influence people:

It can cause us to assume that we are less likely to experience various biases than our peers or the general population.

It can cause us to be bad “bias detectors” for our own biases, even if we are good at detecting biases in others.

It can us to fail to realize that we have displayed a certain bias, even when we are given an explicit description of the bias and are asked whether it could have influenced our reasoning.

It can cause us to assume that our judgments and decisions are objective, even when we recognize biases in our judgment and decision-making process.

It can cause us to assume that our personal connection to a certain issue is a source of accuracy and enlightenment for us and for those who share their stance, but that the same connection leads to biases among people who have an opposing stance.

One study “People claim objectivity after knowingly using biased strategies” (Hansen et al., 2014) presents several examples that outline the potential dangers of the bias blind spot:

Consider a team of human resources officials who have a hiring process in which they see photographs of applicants before evaluating the merits of their applications. Each official might view that process as introducing a host of potential biases, but each might believe that they personally can overcome that bias (and benefit from being able to ‘attach a face’ to an application). This blindness may be especially likely to foster conflict between people who disagree after going through the same judgmental process. Each may not only be confident in his or her own objectivity but also quick to impute bias to the person who disagrees—and who was subject to a biased decision-making process.

Finally, the bias blind spot can extend to people’s view of other individuals sometimes. For example, the bias blind spot can cause people to underestimate the likelihood of biases in authority figures, which means, for instance, that people who have a positive view of police officers or financial advisors perceive them as being less biased than the general population.

People’s tendency to underestimate or be unaware of their own biases is attributed to three principal causes:

Naïve realism. This represents people’s tendency to assume that their perspective is entirely objective, meaning they can see things as they actually are.

The introspection illusion. This represents a self-other asymmetry, whereby people over-value mental contents, such as thoughts and feelings, at the expense of behavioral ones, when assessing their own preferences, motives, and actions, but not when assessing those of others.

Ego-related needs. These needs prompt people to engage in self-enhancement and ignore their biases in order to feel.

Courage said the Lion

 Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear — not absence of fear.

We often define courage as the ability to face and overcome fear. It is not about being completely free of fear, but about being able to confront and deal with it effectively. Fear is a natural emotion that everyone experiences, and it can serve as a helpful warning sign in certain situations.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to confront and overcome fear in the face of challenges or adversity. It takes courage to stand up for what one believes in, to speak out against injustice, or to face difficult or dangerous situations. Courage involves taking risks and facing uncertainty, even when we feel afraid. It is an important quality that can help us achieve our goals and live our lives to the fullest.

However, when fear becomes overwhelming or debilitating, it can hold us back and prevent us from taking action. Courage allows us to push through this fear and take the steps to achieve our goals or do what needs to be done, even if it means facing challenges or taking risks.

However, it is important to recognize that bravery does not mean the absence of fear. It is natural for people to feel fear in difficult or dangerous situations, and bravery often involves overcoming that fear and acting despite it. Some people might even argue that true bravery involves acknowledging and accepting fear but still choosing to act with courage.

Culture is dynamic and always changing

 Culture is a dynamic and constantly evolving concept that refers to the shared beliefs, values, customs, behaviours, and artifacts that characterize a group or society. It includes the way people think, feel, and act, as well as the material objects and symbols that they create and use. Culture can change over time in response to various internal and external factors, such as technological advancements, economic changes, political developments, and social movements.

 For example, the culture of a society may change as it becomes more urbanized and industrialized, or as it becomes more diverse and multicultural. Historical events also shaped culture and influences, and can vary from one society to another.

It is important to consider how cultural matters present themselves in society and how different people perceive and understand them. Different cultural groups may have different ways of expressing their culture and may value different aspects of it. It is important to be aware of and respect the diversity of cultural experiences and perspectives that exist within society. It is also important to recognize that culture is not static and can change.

In today’s world, there are many sources of information, entertainment, and other forms of media that are freely available and require nothing in return. However, it is important to remember that these sources often rely on funding from advertisers or sponsors, or subscription fees or other forms of payment may support them. Sometimes, consuming media can also require the use of resources such as electricity, internet data, or device storage, which may have environmental or financial costs associated with them. 

It is also important to consider the impact that our consumption of media can have on the creators and producers of that content, and to consider supporting them in ways that are appropriate and fair. By engaging in dialogue and understanding different cultural perspectives, we can learn from one another and build a more inclusive and harmonious society.

 

Sweet dreams are made of this

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is a popular song written and performed by the British new-wave music duo, Eurythmics. Released in 1983 as the title track of their album “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)”. The song became a hit, reaching the top of the charts in several countries, including the United States and the United Kingdom. Many artists have covered the Eurythmics’ best-known and most enduring songs because the song’s lyrics explore themes of identity and self-discovery.

Identity and self-discovery are themes that are often explored in literature, film, and other forms of art. These themes involve the exploration of an individual’s sense of self and place in the world and can involve questions about one’s values, beliefs, and relationships.

One common way that they explored these themes is through the main character’s journey of self-discovery. This can involve the character facing challenges and making choices that help them better understand who they are and what they stand for.

Artists also explore identity and self-discovery are through the portrayal of different cultural, societal, and personal experiences. This can involve examining how an individual’s identity is shaped by their culture, their family and community, and their personal experiences and relationships.

We can also explore these themes through the portrayal of conflicts or struggles that individuals face in trying to find and define their own identities. This can involve conflicts with societal expectations or norms, conflicts with one’s own sense of self, or conflicts with others who may have different ideas about who the individual is or should be.

Overall, the themes of identity and self-discovery are central too many works of art and can provide insight into the human experience and how individuals navigate and make sense of the world around them.

Know everyone by their good traits

It’s important to recognize and appreciate the good qualities of others. By focusing on the positive traits of others, we can strengthen our relationships and build a more positive and supportive community.

 Here are a few tips for focusing on the outstanding traits of others.

• Look for the good in others. Try to see the best in others and focus on their positive qualities.
• Practice gratitude. Appreciate and express gratitude for the good qualities and actions of others.
• Avoid criticism. Instead of criticizing or judging others, try to understand and appreciate their perspectives and motivations.
• Be compassionate. Show kindness and compassion towards others, and try to understand their experiences and challenges.

By following these tips, you can build stronger and more positive relationships with others and create a more positive and supportive community.

More adivce for my grandson

 You don't have to take everything so seriously.

Life isn't black and white, answers aren't always yes or no, and absolutely nothing has to happen today.

Act when you're ready, be led by your feelings. And the next time someone wants to fit you into a box, just tell 'em that your jeans are in the wash, your angels are at the mall, god is on the other line and you are on hold with the devil.

Imagine That

If you can imagine it, you can have it. This is the name of the game. This is the lesson to learn. It couldn't be any easier. Reality is not what your eyes show your mind, but what your thoughts create for your eyes to see. You are not limited by logic, the past, or the world around you. You are not of the world around you, it is of you.

You came first. Charm, gifts, and chance are the consequences of understanding that if you can imagine it you can have it. The reward of success is the inevitable byproduct of dreaming and acting in spite of appearances.

You are ever so close. Simply stay the course. It won't be very much longer.

A charmed life

 When you retire, you could say that you have had a charmed life. As you build your ideas for your life after you retire, you could create a magical vision board. A vision board is a collage of photographs, visions, observations and whatnots (everything else not the name of a furniture item, first made in or about 1808) that you create what you would like your life to look like in the future. It’s almost as if you were creating a snapshot of yourself a few years down the road. Once you create your vision board, all you have to do is hang it somewhere where you can see it every day. It will be up to you to bring your vision to life. 

Vision boards are useful for two reasons. They help you get clear on what you want. The process of finding and sorting images allows you to figure out what things you actually want to bring into your life, not just what you think you want. Vision boards also keep you focused. 

Vision boards are effective because they are a visual reminder of your intentions and shape your thoughts and actions. Vision boards give you a clear direction for where you want to go in several areas of your life. They allow you to visualize what goals you want to achieve.

A realization

 One of the joys of being retired is that you can begin to wake up to the truth of your beauty and energy, knowing that you're not alone and that life is a playground, not a laboratory; an adventure, not a test. If it was a test you have passed it and now in retirement, you can become who you dreamed, you'd become, and exactly who your world most needs you to be.

And, perhaps most of all, knowing that your thoughts create, your words shape, and your deeds summon the energy that allows you to face retirement with the grace and dignity you deserve. 

Life-Learnings from 16 Years of The Marginalian

 One of the joys of my week is the twice-a-week email I get called the Marginalian. It is always a fun read and I highly recommend it to all. Her latest post is called 16 life-learnings. I have left out the best parts, so to read the rest of this wonderful essay, go to her site

Several years in, I thought it would be a good exercise to reflect on what I was learning about life in the course of composing. Starting at year seven, I began a sort of public diary of learnings And now, at year sixteen, here they all are, dating back to the beginning

1.                Allow yourself the uncomfortable luxury of changing your mind.

2.                Do nothing for prestige or status or money or approval alone.

3.                Be generous. Be generous with your time and your resources and with giving credit and, especially, with your words.

4.                Build pockets of stillness into your life. Meditate. Go for walks. Ride your bike going nowhere in particular. There is a creative purpose to daydreaming, even to boredom.

5.                As Maya Angelou famously advised, when people tell you who they are, believe them. Just as important, however, when people try to tell you who you are, don’t believe them.

6.                Presence is far more intricate and rewarding an art than productivity. Ours is a culture that measures our worth as human beings by our efficiency, our earnings, and our ability to perform this or that.

7.                “Expect anything worthwhile to take a long time.” This is borrowed from the wise and wonderful Debbie Millman, for it’s hard to better capture something so fundamental yet so impatiently overlooked in our culture of immediacy

8.                Seek out what magnifies your spirit. Patti Smith, in discussing William Blake and her creative influences, talks about writers and artists who magnified her spirit — it’s a beautiful phrase and a beautiful notion.

9.                Don’t be afraid to be an idealist. There is much to be said for our responsibility as creators and consumers of that constant dynamic interaction we call culture — which side of the fault line between catering and creating are we to stand on?

10.           Don’t just resist cynicism — fight it actively. Fight it in yourself, for this ungainly beast lays dormant in each of us, and counter it in those you love and engage with, by modelling its opposite.

11.           A reflection originally offered by way of a wonderful poem about pi: Question your maps and models of the universe, both inner and outer, and continually test them against the raw input of reality.

12.           Because Year 12 is the year in which I finished writing Figuring (though it emanates from my entire life), and because the sentiment, which appears in the prelude, is the guiding credo to which the rest of the book is a 576-page footnote, I will leave it as it stands: There are infinitely many kinds of beautiful lives.

13.           In any bond of depth and significance, forgive, forgive, forgive. And then forgive again.

14.           Choose joy. Choose it like a child chooses the shoe to put on the right foot, the crayon to paint a sky. So often, it is a matter of attending to what Hermann Hesse called, as the world was about to come unworlded by its first global war, “the little joys”; so often, those are the slender threads of which we weave the lifeline that saves us.

1.    Delight in the age-salted man on the street corner waiting for the light to change, his age-salted dog beside him, each inclined toward the other with the angular subtlety of absolute devotion.

2.    Delight in the little girl zooming past you on her little bicycle, this fierce emissary of the future, rainbow tassels waving from her handlebars and a hundred beaded braids spilling from her golden helmet.

3.    Delight in the snail taking an afternoon to traverse the abyssal crack in the sidewalk for the sake of pasturing on a single blade of grass.

4.    Delight in the tiny new leaf, so shy and so shamelessly lush, unfurling from the crooked stem of the parched geranium.

5.    I think often of this verse from Jane Hirshfield’s splendid poem “The Weighing”:

So few grains of happiness

measured against all the dark

and still the scales balance.

Yes, except we furnish both the grains and the scales. I alone can weigh the blue of my sky, you of yours.

15.           Outgrow yourself.

16.           Unself. Nothing is more tedious than self-concern.

Act your age part 2

I have blogged about this before but I think it is important. One of my friend's daughters was celebrating her birthday when he was travelling with us. He wanted us as a group to sing happy birthday to her which he would film and send to her on messenger. We agreed. On the day of her birthday, we were in a very small restaurant and I remembered our promise to sing to her. (She is in her late 20s) so I said let's do it. My friend said no because he did not want to be embarrassed in the restaurant. He said that we should not do it as we were not acting our age. There were six of us and our average age is 74. In addition, all of us look wise, as we had white hair and wrinkles that come with age and wisdom. 

We were talking and joking around and told our friend that his daughter would appreciate the message and that the people in the restaurant would probably applaud and cheer at the end of the birthday song if we did it right. So, we sang the song, the waiter recorded, the restaurant cheered, his daughter thought her dad a bit crazy but loved the message,  and we acted our age.

When I was younger from time to time adults would say to me, "Royce act your age." meaning that I should act older and stop behaving like someone who is much younger. I am sure you may have heard this or similar phrases as you were growing up. Here are some phrases that have been used:

• Boys, act your age, please!
• You need to grow up and act your age!
• You're too old for silly pranks like this. I really wish you would just act your age.
• Come on, act your age! That food is for eating not for playing with it!
• Just act your age and apologize to her!

Now that I am older, people use the phrase to try and get me to behave in a way suitable for someone as old as I am.

Stop being silly and act your age or other such phrases are insulting and meant to be demeaning. 

Asking someone to act their age is a form of bullying. It is also a way for the user of the phrase to get someone to conform to their idea of how a person should act at a certain time of their life. What does acting your age mean at 21 or 30 or 14 or 75? Society has set up expectations about behaviour, which are sometimes meant to be broken. 

A subtle form of ageism is seen on TV from time to time. It usually is in the form of a feel-good story such as:

• The oldest person to reach the summit of Mount Everest is Yuichiro who did so at age 80. Yuichiro, who is Japanese, had completed the feat previously at age 70 and again at age 75.
• In Britain, one centenarian is helping to improve and support her community. Ethel volunteers at a thrift store every Friday and Saturday afternoon. She started volunteering there at age 78 and hasn’t missed a shift in 21 years
• Nola became the oldest college graduate in 2007 at age 95. Nola completed her Bachelor of General Studies at Fort Hays State University in Kansas and fulfilled her lifelong dream of earning a degree. However, she didn’t stop there. In 2010, at 98 years old, she became the oldest person to receive a master’s degree. She hopes to encourage people to keep on learning and tells her grandchildren, “If grandmother can do it, you can.”

These wonderful stories of accomplishment are seen as a way to encourage others who are growing older to make the best of what life has to offer. They are also a subtle form of ageism. If Nola was 40 and a grandmother, it would not be as big a story. If Ethel was 48 and had not missed a shift in 21 years it would not be a story that would be published. Yuichiro is to be commended on reaching the summit of Mount Everest, but if he had first attempted it at 25 then at 30 and then completed it at 25 it would not be as big a story.

Don't let other people force you to act your age, because they have bought into society's norms, have fun, experience life and enjoy living in the moment. Laugh, play and have fun because however you act, you are acting your age.

Do you remember?

 Do you remember learning how to survive a nuclear attack?  We grew up in different times as these some of these skills taught in school show

In grade 1 we learned to count pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, half dollars, dollars

We were encouraged to “eat nicely,” which is a clever way of getting kids to think about dinner etiquette.

I live in a home that backs onto a school and it is not unusual to see parents dropping and picking up their kids from school every day. Back in our day things were very different, you were expected to walk to school and home on your own.

Fathers were away working or looking for work, so we were expected to know our dad's name, not mom's name just dad's. That speaks to the values of the day. This point may reflect a general trend in the ’50s of fathers often being away from home for work. It was seen as traditional for men to work, while women stayed at home to rear the children. Maybe this comparatively small amount of time spent with their dads made it important for kids to make a point of learning their names.

We were expected to know our right hand, not the right and left hand just the right hand. On the surface, this seems quite reasonable, as it’s important for children to learn their right from left. But the fact that the right-hand side was specifically emphasized instead of the other way around may be quite telling.

Because of a long-standing bias, being a leftie has historically been quite problematic for people. Left-handed kids were even sometimes forced to learn how to write with their right hands. Things started to change during the 20th century, but there would’ve still been a hang-up about southpaws during the ’50s.

All through school one of the rituals I remember is showing my hands to the teacher so they could see if my fingernails were clean. Showing children how to stay clean and hygienic is definitely important, but an emphasis on spotless fingernails, in particular, might seem a little strange.

During the height of the Cold War, there was a great deal of anxiety about the possibility of a nuclear attack. So, at the beginning of the 1950s, even schools were preparing their students for such a scenario. Basically, the kids were taught to “duck and cover,” to shelter underneath their desks and brace themselves.

An animated film called Duck and Cover was created to help teach kids about the maneuver. The protagonist was Bert the Turtle, who would take cover from an atomic blast in his shell. The film was a rather easygoing way of getting kids to deal with the grim prospect of nuclear war.

Back in the 1950s, our society held very rigid ideas when it came to questions of gender and gender roles. It was, for instance, widely accepted that men would go to work, while women stayed at home and tended to the household. These old-fashioned attitudes were actively imposed upon the children of the era, too. This attitude was wrong then and has changed over the years, which is great.

During the ’50s, young girls were taught to master skills that tended to revolve around maintaining a household. They were clothed in skirts and dresses, while their behaviour was encouraged to be more placid than that of boys. It was a strict time in terms of what was expected of young ladies.

While young girls of the 1950s were supposed to be gentle and well-behaved, expectations were quite different for boys. Male kids were widely brought up across America to be dominant and confident individuals. In some respects, it might even be said that a certain degree of mischief was permitted in boys.

Boys were often expected to do well at school and to play sports. Their ego was built up and they were given more space than girls to explore the world around them. Essentially, it was an attitude that sought to prepare boys for the world of work that awaited them down the line