Firends and Old friends

 I was reading a post in The End Game written by Don Akchin where he said, “The difference between friends and old friends, in my mind, boils down to this: Friends know what you do and what you say; old friends know who you are. They know the Original You, before the trappings of education, marriage, career, successes, disappointments. They still recognize Original You even through hair loss, weight gain, wrinkles, and wear and tear. They see through all that to your essence, and they recognize that it hasn’t changed since you were both children. When you are in the presence of old friends, there are glimmering moments when you feel the presence of that innocent child, Original You, once more. The distinction between friends and old friends is a profound exploration of the evolution of relationships and the enduring essence of one's true self. The essence of this dichotomy lies in the depth of understanding that old friends possess—the ability to see beyond the superficial layers of life and connect with the core of who you are.” 

I want to expand on this theme. In the realm of friendships, friends are acquainted with your current endeavours, the words you speak, and the actions you take in the present. They are witnesses to the story you are actively creating in your life—they know the products of education, marriage, career, successes, and disappointments. These valuable companions on your journey may mostly connect with the external displays of your identity.

On the reverse side, old friends go beyond the boundaries of time and circumstance. Their understanding of you extends to the origins of your existence. They remember the unvarnished version of you, untouched by the complexities that life inevitably introduces. This living connection allows them to recognize the core of your being that remains unchanged despite the passage of years.

Old friends possess an ability to see through the external changes that accompany the journey through life. Whether it's hair loss, weight gain, wrinkles, or the wear and tear of experiences, they perceive these alterations as mere enhancements to the canvas of your life story. Beneath these superficial changes, they see the familiar contours of the person they've known since childhood.

The moments spent with old friends become a portal to your past, offering glimpses of the innocence that once roamed the landscapes of your shared history. In their presence, there's a subtle magic that rekindles your original spirit. They are a reminder of the pure soul that existed before the complexities of adulthood took hold.

In essence, the distinction between friends and old friends lies in the depth of connection and understanding. Old friends are not just witnesses to your life; they are keepers of your truest self, capable of transporting you back to the unspoiled moments of your shared history. The magic of old friendships lies in the ability to transcend time, allowing your essence to persist and shine through, even as the world around you continues to change. If you are lucky enough to have old friends, make sure you keep them close. If you have old friends and have not connected with them for a while, reach out to them. It will be worth it.

Friends and friendship

For several years, Bronnie Ware sat by the bedsides of dying people and as a result, she wrote a book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. The conversations shared were personal, life-changing, and enormously insightful. Others have expanded on her work by interviewing patients in palliative care units and nursing homes who are seeing their last days on earth to share their regrets in life. Their answers were memorable and worth considering as you retire. One of the top three regrets of people who were dying was I should have made more time for my friends.

When health and youth have faded, people realize what is truly valuable they find that all their income and achievements amount to nothing in the end. What matters in those last few moments are the people who are dear to them. At that time, they tend to miss their friends.

It’s so easy to get lost in the daily grind that you forget to take care of your relationships. If you don’t intentionally stay in touch, you may lose contact with your friends through the years.  It's challenging to maintain friendships as we age, especially if we move away from the people we’ve known for a long time. Our lifestyles and interests change. If we cannot maintain contact with old friends than we need to make new friends.  Making new friends as a senior or adult can be a rewarding experience that brings joy, companionship, and a sense of belonging. But many of us forget how to make new friends, so here are some starter ideas:

Join clubs, groups, or organizations that align with your hobbies and interests. Whether it's a book club, a gardening group, or a fitness class, these shared activities provide a natural way to meet like-minded individuals.

Senior centers often offer a variety of social activities, from game nights to art classes. These centers provide a welcoming environment where you can meet people your age and form connections.

Volunteering is a fantastic way to meet others who share your passion for giving back to the community. Whether you're helping at a local charity, animal shelter, or school, you'll find kindred spirits who value the same causes.

Keep an eye out for local events, fairs, and festivals. These gatherings can be a great place to strike up conversations and meet people in your neighbourhood or town.

Many seniors are active on social media platforms and websites designed for connecting with others. You can join online groups and forums that cater to your interests or demographic and then arrange to meet people in your area.

Enroll in classes or workshops that interest you, whether it's learning a new language, taking a cooking course, or attending a writing workshop. This is an excellent opportunity to interact with others who share your learning goals.

Staying active and healthy is important for seniors, and participating in fitness classes, yoga, or walking groups can be a great way to meet new friends who prioritize health and well-being.

If you are part of a religious or spiritual community, attend services and events to connect with people who share your faith or beliefs.

If you are a college or school alum, attend alumni gatherings and reunions. Reconnecting with old acquaintances and making new ones can be quite fulfilling.

To make new friends, you need to be open to new experiences and approachable. Smile, engage in conversations, and show genuine interest in others. Don't be afraid to initiate conversations and take the first step in building connections.

Remember that making new friends takes time and effort, so be patient and persistent. Building meaningful relationships can greatly enrich your life, providing companionship and support we need.