Fear of Personal Transformation

It has been 30 days since New Years and you may have made some resolutions about this upcoming year. Some of those resolutions may require some changes to be made. Many people feel insecure when they hear the thought of making changes. Change has triggered the emotional mind of many people over the years. The triggers have often hindered many people from transforming their personal characteristics to build self-esteem. Change is merely our ability to modify our ways in order to make constructive changes. We can use a variety of techniques in order to transform our personal characteristics. Change is adjustments that help us to improve our lives. 

We amend patterns, behaviors, habits and thinking by transforming our ways. Ultimately, we can revolutionize our self, which leads one to success. The fear of change then is often an illusionary state of mind. Many people fail to challenge their fears, which encumbers, making it difficult to get through the day. Making positive transformations is rewarding since it builds self-esteem and strength of character. We can use visualizations to make constructive transformations. 

Start with visualizing yourself. Focus on the negative and positive. Are you a negative thinker, or a positive thinker? If you are negative, you need to work harder at building your self-esteem and confidence. It will empower you to make personal transformations that lead you to success. 

Positive change occurs by sticking with your plan while working to achieve your goals. For instance, if your resolution was to lose weight, then you must stick with an exercise routine and diet. Because many people fear change, the new age solutions are promoted to help people with making a personal transformation to better their lives. Change is the development of adjusting to something new. When one transforms his or her behaviors, habits and thinking to productive patterns, it brings them greater rewards. 

When you get stuck in unchanged patterns, it prevents you from achieving success. We must face our fears directly to make productive changes that guide us to building our strength of character and self-esteem.  

People with low self-esteem are often afraid to transform, which is obviously linked to the fear of accepting difference. What this means is that we must accept differences, by retraining the mind so that it accepts change. Thus, we must move to acceptance in order to move ahead in our progression to transform our way of life. 

To transforms, making constructive changes, one must assess yourself. Self-analysis is simply the ability to evaluate yourself. Often when one goes through this analysis, they find problems that they did not know existed. For instance, perhaps when you did some self-analysis you discovered that you were afraid to be alone. This is a common fear amongst many people, yet many do not realize that this fear is embedded in the subliminal and unconscious mind. By self-analyzing, one can discover his or her fears and work to eliminate the problem. 

When you self-analyzes often you can make positive transformations while building self-esteem by expressing your feelings and thoughts. You can accordingly admit to things to yourself while recognizing your qualities and the way that you behaves. Throughout the process, you will become closer to the self, which builds self-esteem. By becoming closer to self, you can start frequently mentioning your personal achievements to build a stronger strength of character. You will find satisfaction within the self, by analyzing yourself often. 

Self-analysis makes it possible to discover the feelings that make you feel uncomfortable. Most times people fail to examine their uncomfortable feelings, which is part of the problem that makes it difficult for people to make a positive transformation. 

Protecting your partners financial well being

Bob Lowry at A Satisfying Retirement, just posted a well thought out and very good blog on how to Protect Your Partner's Financial Well Being, I recommend that everyone read this post. When you die, you leave behind a partner who has to be able to carry on with life, and you can make it easier by not leaving any surprises about finances. 
In his post-Bob says: 

If a health problem or an untimely death leaves the survivor suddenly facing a desperate form of on-the-job-training there is the potential of a financial crisis. Of course, another option is to find a relative, outside person or business to take over this role. This can be quite expensive. Even worse, the person overseeing the matter may be untrained or even unscrupulous. Very quickly a lifetime of careful planning and investments can disappear.

It is much better for the "financial person" in the relationship to teach the "non-financial person" what must be done before disaster strikes. Taking the time to prepare another is an act of love. Frankly, I believe it is also an obligation, a part of what must be done in a committed relationship.

I agree with this assessment, please for you and your partners sake, take the time to read this post.

Talking to Students or talking AT them

Our discussion, over lunch, focused on how do we keep student's attention when we were delivering content. So here is some advice for young teachers. We all were in agreement that we should talk to our students, not at them. There is a phenomenon that all public speakers encounter when they are addressing a crowd that if you thought about it very much, it would get to you.  It is a phenomenon that any teacher who is trying to impart knowledge to a room full of students will experience as well. And if you think about it very much, it will get to you too.  That phenomenon happens when you are talking along and you look out at those blank faces staring up at you and you realize that a few, some or maybe all of those minds behind those faces are paying absolutely no attention to you at all.

Whether or not that drives you crazy depends on whether you consider the act of teaching complete when you speak or when the student grasps and understands what you are saying.   Very often young teachers, when speaking are more concerned about getting the information out and have lost sight of whether the students are getting it or not.  They have not yet learned that it is their job to make sure the students understand or interact with the material.  They are a delivery vehicle and if they enunciate the lecture successfully, they have successfully "taught".

But just saying words into the air whether or not they are heard or understood really isn't teaching, is it?  Put it in the context of a chef.  If you cook a wonderful meal that is delicious, prepare it with the finest of materials and present it with perfect ambiance, is it still a delightful meal if there is nobody at the table to appreciate it and nobody eats the meal?  No, you are only a chef when the patron dines on your food and appreciates every nuance of the flavour and the experience of enjoying what you have done.

That distinction is what drives teachers crazy when they feel students are not listening.  To a teacher who has a passion for the real act of teaching, their job is not done until the students grasp the material and interact with it, question it and finally grasp it and make that knowledge their own.  A lecture not heard, not understood, not "taught" is not teaching at all, its just talking.

Preparing to become a teacher is about more than just knowing how to design a lesson plan and how to organize a classroom and make a bulletin board.  Becoming a teacher means you become one of those amazing people who can take students from uninformed to informed and from unenlightened to truly "taught".  When it is your calling you want to become that kind of teacher who talks to students to ensure they have learned the material, you do not want to be the teacher who stands and delivers material with no knowledge of whether your students know what you are saying at all.

This means that you will have to change your teaching style. It means that you won't be satisfied with just working on a lecture.  In fact, it might spell the end of the lecture as a teaching device for you entirely.  To really find out if those children are listening and interacting with the material, you will have to change your approach to an interactive teaching style.  You will have to start talking to students or with students and not AT them.  But once you do that, the feedback you will get and the quality of your teaching will improve so dramatically, you will never want to go back.

Coping With Anger About Aging

Most of the people I associate with, are happy people and accepting of the age we are, but some people I noticed are angry at the fact they are getting old. I thought about this and came to the realization that they were going through a grieving stage. The experts tell us that there are stages of grief.  Some of those stages include denial, depression and acceptance.  But one that many of us experience is anger.  

While we most often associate grief with the emotions when a loved one passes away, we can go through grief about a lot of things.  People go through grief when their house burns down or when they lose a job or a pet.  An area of loss that we don’t often lump in with grief causes is the physical decline of ageing.

You can detect that you or people you know are experiencing grief from their loss of youth from comments they make.  It is common to hear them look back with remorse at lost youth and with the loss of functionality and strength that happens when we age.  As we see our strength decline and perhaps go through one of the many natural ailments of ageing such as arthritis or problems with elimination, it is not uncommon to see a response of anger result from their impatience with these problems.

Nobody asked to get old.  And I am sure that if we could put it to a vote, ageing would lose the election to continue to be part of our lives.  As much as people hate to grow old, your loved ones hate to see it happen to you.  And while you may not see it happen, your family is grieving the loss of the “young mom or dad” as much as you are.

The problem with being angry about growing old is there is nobody to take it out on.  The result is often we lash out at those closest to us because the frustration with our ageing bodies causes our temper to flare up spontaneously and a loved one or caregiver is the one who is handy to get mad at.  You know this isn’t fair and when it happens, you are sorry.  So, it would be good with finding ways to cope with the anger about ageing in a productive way.

This kind of coping is necessary so you don’t lash out at the innocent.  But it is also healthy for you to learn to cope with the ageing process because stalling out in the grief process will create tension in your emotional system, which can cause physical problems such as ulcers or problems sleeping.  So how do we get rid of the anger that some naturally feel at seeing their bodies decline?

A wise person once said that we get angry because of a false sense of entitlement.  It comes when our expectations do not line up with reality.  A false sense of entitlement comes when we come to the conclusion that we do not deserve to get old.  The best way to confront and put aside that sense of entitlement is to recognize it.  No matter how much you loathe ageing or wish you could go back in time to when you were younger, know that ageing is a fact of life. 

Even Hollywood stars have to accept the effects of time. Actress Goldie Hawn says ageing is "all about how you make it." "It's all in your mind." George Clooney has said though there's "nothing fun about ageing," you just have to make the best of what you've got.”  But if you can recognize that consciously, it will help take anger out of the loop when you are coping with the effects of ageing.

Resolution of grief comes when our expectations line up with reality.  The attempt to deny the advance of years is the sole cause of the midlife crisis in your younger days and that emotional response to ageing can create devastating results as the one in crisis tries to behave as though they are not growing old and make bad decisions based on that concept.

So too, if you can recognize that these problems are the natural result of ageing and the best thing to do is to take care of yourself to try to minimize their impact, you will live with a much healthier attitude toward ageing.  By focusing on your diet, your exercise, a wise use of alcohol and drugs and doing all you can to stay rested and emotionally sound, you will see the negative effects of ageing become minimized. Taking walks or doing balancing exercises can help. A Harvard study of over 1,600 older men and women found that adding light exercises to your routine, even if you didn't work out before, can make you over 25 percent less likely to become disabled.

Whether you're watching a funny video on YouTube or cracking jokes with friends, laughter truly is the best medicine. A 2014 study found that just watching 20 minutes of funny videos improved memory in older people and also reduced their levels of the stress hormone, cortisol. Some studies have also shown a link between laughter and a lower risk for heart disease. So, go ahead, have a laugh. Just don't worry about the wrinkles. Moreover, you will be a happier person and that shift in your emotions can go a long way toward keeping you young at heart.  And that is the best way to turn back the effects of ageing from the inside out.