Putting Your Affairs in Order

Moving into the final phases of life, calls for thinking about things that you might have put off before.  This includes many of life’s philosophical questions and looking back on life and thinking about what you did well and what you regret.  But aside from those reflective questions, there are some basic things you should do now to “put your affairs in order” so that in the event you come to that final day of your life, your children and those charged with such affairs know what to do.

It seems almost morbid to “put your affairs in order” early in your retirement life when you are healthy and active and there is no obvious threat that the end is near.  But these are not decisions that should be put off until your health begins to decline when you are significantly older.  These are decisions that call for a mature and thoughtful review by a retired boomer fully in command of his or her faculties.  That means that putting your affairs in order is something to do now and not procrastinate about.

After all, when you started a family, you didn’t wait until the children were grown to buy life insurance or think about their education.  You took care of that when they were still crawling around in diapers because that is what mature adults do.  So now its time to be a mature adult about the end of life paperwork so those affairs are in order and ready for when they are needed.  The kinds of end of life issues that should be decided paid for and settled now and by you include…

• The settlement of life insurance and who has the authority to close it out.
• Is your will up to date and correct?  This should be reviewed at least every two or three years even if your assets have not changed because there may be other details that should/could be altered. 
• Are your medical directives decided and signed?     In BC we have Representative Agreements that allow us to appoint someone to take charge of our health issues if we cannot speak for ourselves. You can also set up a DNR decision about whether you wish to have your life prolonged if you are on artificial life support after a catastrophic illness or injury. This is a “Do Not Resuscitate” order and what you decide will be the law to medical teams who are caring for you during those final days.   Don’t leave this decision to loved ones to agonize over when they will already be in emotional distress.  Be the adult and make those decisions now and make sure your children and loved ones know what your decisions are.
• You should also set up a Power of Attorney to have someone take care of your financial and legal affairs if you cannot speak for yourself.
• Are the proper legal documents for the disposition of business assets and how you wish to see other legal affairs handled properly documented and in good legal order?  A final review by your lawyers will give you peace of mind that these documents will not be susceptible to legal action after you are gone.
• Are you thinking about becoming an organ donor? If so, have you filled out the correct paperwork and let your family and friends know of your wishes?
• Do you have your funeral arrangements decided?  It is you who should decide where you will be buried, whether cremation is preferred and other details of the ceremony. If there are particular songs you want to have sung at your funeral, a church or minister you want to see handle the ceremony or other details that are important to you, document those so your loved ones can observe your wishes.  Many people prepay for the burial plot and casket in advance.  This is an act of love if you do this and take that burden off of your loved one’s minds.

Of all of the end of life decisions you will make, the most important one will be making sure all of these documents can be found and that you have carefully trained a trusted friend or relative in finding and executing these documents.  The last thing you want to have happen is for your children to have to hunt through boxes of old documents to find life insurance papers, your will or other important end of life documents. 

Create good legible copies that are legally correct and secure them where they are safe and easy to locate.  Go through them with your executor or who will be responsible for them so they know exactly how your will and other affairs should be administered.  And make sure everybody has copies including all of your children and everyone who is mentioned in the will.  In this way there will be no questions when the time comes and everyone will know what to do.

My Get Up and Go Has Got Up and Went

Here is a great poem from http://www.dennydavis.net/poemfiles/aging2b.htm

How do I know that my youth is all spent?
Well, my get up and go has got up and went,
But in spite of it all I am able to grin.
When I think of the places my get up has been.

Old age is golden, So I've heard said
But sometimes I wonder, as I get into bed.
With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup
And my eyes on the table until I wake up.

Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself
"Is there anything else I can put on the shelf?"
And I'm happy to say as I close the door
"My friends are the same, perhaps even more."

When I was a young thing my slippers were red,
I could kick my heels as high as my head.
Then when I was older, my slippers were blue,
But still I could walk the whole day through.

Now I'm still older, my slippers are black.
I walk to the store and puff my way back.
The reason I know my youth is all spent,
My get up and go has got up and went.

But really, I don't mind when I think with a grin,
Of all the grand places my get up has been.
Since I have retired from life's competition
I busy myself with complete repetition.

I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
Pick up the paper and read the 'obits',
If my name is missing I know I'm not dead
So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed.

Whispering to yourself

Did you know that whenever you whisper, "I'm sorry..." to someone quietly in your mind, someone sheds a tear and healing begins? It is, however, better to whisper to the person you have hurt. The healing will be faster both for you and for them. Some people do not have the courage to say "I am sorry" as some see this statement as a sign of weakness. It is not, it is a sign of strength.

Did you know that whenever you whisper, "Thank you..." to someone quietly in your mind, someone sheds a tear and presents are sent? We should also say thank you out loud to the person who did us something we are thankful for in our life. There are so many things and people that cross our lives every day that we should be thankful for, and if we are we should not just whisper to ourselves, but we should let them know, that we are thankful for what they do for us. 

And did you know that whenever you whisper, "I love you..." to someone quietly in your mind, someone over here sheds a tear, healing begins, presents are sent, and 10,000 bells are rung? Yet we can whisper "I love you" to ourselves, yet find it hard to tell the person we adore that we have feelings for them. Some do not because they are afraid of rejection by the other, but not to say anything is to reject your own feelings. We cannot control how others react to us, all we can do is be honest with ourselves and trust that we can recover from rejection or celebrate the acceptance of our feelings. 

I think we all have our own marching band that follows us everywhere, believe it or not.

The seashell whispers in your ear

As the wind blows softly against your face

You hear the calling of the ocean

You lean and whisper the secret

the seashell told to you

I smile, you vanish

Another dream, another whisper of 

What could have been

Set aside poetry time

Here are a few more ideas about exploring poetry. I don’t know about you, but I’m great at wasting time–sometimes, I will spend as much time looking through Netflix as I will actually be watching something. One great way to make poetry a part of your day-to-day life is to set aside ten or fifteen minutes every day where you are dedicated to reading poetry in some form. Choose a usually low-key part of your day (in the morning before you start your day, right after dinner, before you watch a show, etc.) and figure out what makes those fifteen minutes feel great–for me, it’s a cup of tea and a soft blanket.

Follow your favorites

If you’re finding it difficult to find new poetry that you enjoy, a great place to start is with poets, publishers, or magazines you already love: maybe they have Twitter and they tweet about what they’re reading, or maybe they’ve shared a list of their favorite writers. This can be a great jumping off point for finding new favorites! If all else fails, in literary magazines you can read the bios of the poets you enjoy–writers will usually list a few other places they’ve been published, and that can lead you to new and exciting literary magazines, often with similar tastes and styles!

Don’t be afraid of the bandwagon

Poetry seems to be getting more and more popular in mainstream culture outlets like Buzzfeed, Bustle, and others, which is making great contemporary poetry easier to find than ever! A simple Google search will yield tons of roundups for underrated contemporary poets, must-read feminist poets, can’t-miss poetry collections by writers of colour, and other great roundups featuring a diverse and exciting array of amazing poetry! Combine this with your local library or indie bookstore, and you’ll never have a shortage of material, in April or otherwise.

National Poetry Writing Month unofficially challenges writers to compose a poem a day throughout April to celebrate NPM. You can also sometimes find this challenge called 30 Days of Poetry. Many writers fall into the challenge free-form, writing about anything and everything, but others find or create guides to get them through the month: on April 1, write a poem about your childhood; on April 2, write a poem about….

Poem in Your Pocket Day is an annual initiative organized by the Academy of American Poets to celebrate National Poetry Month. The League is very excited to be have joined this initiative for the first time in 2016, adding some of our favorite Canadian poems and poets to the mix! Poem in Your Pocket Day 2018 will be held on Thursday, April 26. 

Usually discoverable on social media under the hashtag #todayspoem, this initiative encourages users to share a poem—original or not—every day throughout April. You can find some readers and writers using the hashtag year-round, but its popularity surges in NPM and it’s a great way to discover new poets and performers through social media.

Reading challenge

Individuals or groups can use NPM as an opportunity to set a poetry reading challenge for the month—or for more than just April! Set the challenge in a way that suits your lifestyle and will be a fun way to fit more poetry into your life. Whether it’s challenging yourself to discover and read one new book of poetry in April, or whether you want to read two books a week, a reading challenge will take your poetry consumption to the next level.

National Poetry Month aims to celebrate poetry in all its forms: if you usually like to read formal poetry, try checking out something different like a novel in verse, or poetry that challenges and subverts forms; if you have only ever loved poetry in book form, try checking out a spoken word showcase or a poetry slam; if you’re a performance poet to your core, try diving into a chapbook and seeing the poetry light up those hand-sewn pages.

And if you don’t do poetry? What better time to start than now? The internet is full of incredible lists of recommendations for every non-poetry-lover: feminist poetry, spoken word poetry, emerging poets, political poets, and more. Poetry isn’t dead. There’s a poem just for you, and we know someone wants to help you find it.

Another poem, this time by Yeats from 1927, written when he was in his early sixties. It is about asking the sages of Byzantium to teach him the acceptance of old age.

A few years later, Yeats wrote about this poem in a radio script: "I am trying to write about the state of my soul, for it is right for an old man to make his soul and some of my thoughts about that subject I have put into a poem called Sailing to Byzantium."

That is no country for old men. The young

In one another’s arms, birds in the trees,

—Those dying generations—at their song,

The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas,

Fish, flesh, or fowl, commend all summer long

Whatever is begotten, born, and dies.

Caught in that sensual music all neglect

Monuments of unageing intellect.

An aged man is but a paltry thing,

A tattered coat upon a stick, unless

Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing

For every tatter in its mortal dress,

Nor is there singing school but studying

Monuments of its own magnificence;

And therefore I have sailed the seas and come

To the holy city of Byzantium.

O sages standing in God’s holy fire

As in the gold mosaic of a wall,

Come from the holy fire, perne in a gyre,

And be the singing-masters of my soul.

Consume my heart away; sick with desire

And fastened to a dying animal

It knows not what it is; and gather me

Into the artifice of eternity.

Once out of nature I shall never take

My bodily form from any natural thing,

But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make

Of hammered gold and gold enamelling

To keep a drowsy Emperor awake;

Or set upon a golden bough to sing

To lords and ladies of Byzantium

Of what is past, or passing, or to come.

My thanks to Ronnie at "Time goes By" for the poem.