Fun with English

Lessons My Grammar Taught Me

·       A dangling participle walks into a bar.

·       Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

·       A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

·       Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

·       A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

·       A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

·       Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

·       A synonym strolls into o tavern.

·       The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

·       A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

·       The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

·       A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

·       Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

Questions My Grammar Asked Me

·       What if there were no hypothetical questions?

·       Is there another word for synonym?

·       Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

·       How is it possible to have a civil war?

·       If a parsley former is sued, can they garnish his wages?

·       If you were to eat pasta and antipasto at the same time, would you still be hungry?

Thanks to Denis O. Vaughn W. and Soren K for these gems

Find your local Food Bank

Food Banks are an important part of our social safety net, they are here because of our governments  (Federal, Provincial and Municipal) lack of adequate support many of our neigbours. There are many ideas of what to do about Food Banks and the people who need them. This is not the forum for that discussion. 

Food Banks help so we need to support them.  You may not know that there is a Food Bank Network. The Food Banks Canada network is made up of ten Members (Provincial Associations) and their approximately 450 affiliated food banks (Affiliate Members). The following is from their Website:

"While many people are aware of their local food bank, they may not know just how large the network of food banks across this country is.

We represent ten Provincial Associations, more than 500 Affiliated food banks, and over 3,000 food agencies. Together, we serve approximately 85% of the Canadians who turn to their community food bank or food program for help. Without our network, more than a million people each year would have times where they simply couldn’t put food on the table.

We support our network in a number of ways, including our programs, large-scale food donations made through our National Food Sharing System and our Retail Food Program, and financial support from us and from our donor partners. We also provide support through awareness-raising campaigns that increase the profile of the issue of hunger and through advocacy work that finds longer-term solutions.

If you operate a food bank or agency and are not yet part of our network, please contact your Provincial Association to find out how you can become part of the movement to relieve hunger in Canada."

By going to this link you can find your local Food Bank if you live in Canada. (Click Here). Once you have found your local Food Bank, call them or visit them to see how you can help at this time of year. Please call your local food bank before visiting.

Are you an Elder, a Senior or Old?

Those were the days, my friend. We were young and gave no thought to growing old. As my generation grows older we still fight the idea that we are growing old. 

There is an attempt by many to change the way we refer to people of a certain age. Older, Elder, Senior, which label to you like? Some other terms for being old that I have heard are “Oldster”, “Vintage”, “Golden Ager”, “Third Ager”, “Older Adult”, “The Silent Generation”, “War Babies”, “Boomer”, “Seasoned Citizens”, “Autumnal”, “mid-century vintage”. I heard one person respond by saying, ‘I'm an"ibaallt", meaning "I've been living a long, long time.” Another person said, “I am xx years young.” and “I have been around a long time”

The problem with all of the above terms is they are labels and labels change and evolve, and once labels that were acceptable become negative. We use labels to help us identify those who are different than us. The issue is, of course, that we will all grow old. Using labels can be a form of ageism.  Some of us think ageism is not real or is not important. I have friends who say “Age is not important, it is just a number. Well, it is if you are in a comfortable position, but I know there are many out there who, because of their age, cannot get a good job, or have been fired because of their age.

I was talking to a younger person and they asked me how old I was, and I told them. They said, “Congratulations you should be proud”. I wondered for what, living, or for living for so long? Today, I am alive, I am healthy, that is a fact and that could change in a flash. The reason I am alive probably has to do more with genetics than what I have done or how I have lived. I wondered why anyone would be proud of being any age. If I was to ask a person who was 19, or 40 or 55, were they proud of their age, I think I would get a shocked look and no answer. All ages are equally valid. Unless we die young, we each go through all of them. There is nothing unique or special about a certain age compared to another.

Changing the words, we use to express age, will not make ageism go away, but it may help society overcome that prejudice, but it will be a slow process as our society is still in love with the idea of staying young.

When does old apply to you? I believe that being old means someone who is at least 10 years older than me. However, others may not hold that view. I like what Ronnie Bennett over at “Time Goes By”, said “Oh just stop it. Everyone, stop it. If you are asking the question about when being old “kicks in”, you're there.”

So I will leave you with a couple of question, now that “you are there”, what does that mean to you, and how do you refer to yourself?

The Growing Need For Senior Home Health Care Jobs

Boomers are ageing, and we are happy that we live in a time when we are living longer and we are living healthier. However, in a post a few months ago I discussed the fact that even though we are living longer for most of us, we will spend at least two to three years needing care. There is a problem with that because we do not have enough people trained to look after an ageing senior population. 

In a 2015 report, Future Care for Canadian Seniors: A Status Quo Forecast, the Conference Board of Canada estimated that by 2026 over 2.4 million Canadians age 65 and over will require paid and unpaid continuing care support — up 71 percent from 2011. By 2046, this number will reach nearly 3.3 million. In the US for the first time, people 65 and older will outnumber those 18 and younger in 2030. Indeed, 1 out of every 5 Americans will be at or past retirement age.

Those numbers, from the US Census Bureau, are fairly staggering, and represent some fairly enormous social changes over the last few generations. Better medical care improved awareness of what is and is not healthy, and declining birth rates mean that America is ageing (though slower than Europe or parts of Asia).

When you dive a little deeper, the numbers might really surprise you:

• By 2035, there will be 78 million people 65 and over
• By 2060, that number will jump to 98 million
• By 2060, people 65 and older will make up 24% of the population

This means people are living longer and have more time to explore and learn and live their lives to the fullest. The rate of immigration will keep the US population growing at replacement rates, with the happy outcome of making this country much more diverse.

That being said, of course, an ageing population brings with it its own set of social and economic challenges. A larger problem looms in the medical and health care needs of an ageing population.

There is a growing need for doctors, nurses, and professional caregivers, especially in home-based care. We have a need for committed, compassionate, and professional care that helps older adults live their best lives. Understanding that the market can help younger people find jobs that will be challenging, interesting, fulfilling, and filled with love.

Writing at Quartz, Dan Kopf calls jobs involving the personal care of older adults the “future of employment.” Indeed, the Bureau of Labor Statistics, as he points out, says that this will be the fastest area of employment growth from 2016-2026 (and, one can surmise, beyond that, but the latest numbers are through these years).

To back that up, Kopf gave some more impressive numbers. Over the next decade:

• Personal care jobs will grow by 750,000
• Home health aides will grow by 425,000
• These jobs will grow from 2.3 to 3.4 million jobs overall
• These jobs will grow 37% and 37%, respectively, the 3rd and 4th fastest growing jobs in the US

So, it is pretty clear that the ageing population is going to have a direct impact on what work will be like in the future.

This work isn’t all uniform, of course. There are many different jobs, including working at hospitals and at nursing care facilities. But more and more, the bulk of jobs is moving toward senior home health care as the result of cultural and sociological shifts.

In Canada, spending on care for seniors across all 10 provinces will increase from $28.3 billion in 2011 to $177.3 billion in 2046. With two-thirds of this spending provided by governments, spending growth will significantly outpace revenue growth for most provinces.

By 2046, over 11.6 million Canadians will be counted on to provide some level of unpaid continuing care support to seniors.

In the last few decades, we’ve seen a cultural move toward ageing in place. While many nursing care facilities are amazing places staffed with wonderful, dedicated people who work hard to build a true community, more and more people want to stay in their homes or with a loved one in place of starting over.

That’s not easy, of course. While there are programs to help, it can be challenging to age in place. It can be hard to care for yourself, and it can be hard to care for a loved one, especially if you have a full-time job and family of your own.

That’s where a caregiver comes in. Whether you have a full-time caregiver who might specialize in your specific health needs or a part-time one who can come in and handle things like medicine or bandages or basic chores like cooking, caregivers are an enormous help. They are companions and nurses, friends and chefs, someone to talk to and someone to laugh with and someone to lean on. They are people who help older adults age in place, with the comfort and dignity they deserve.

In both Canada and the USA labour demand growth for this sector is projected to far exceed overall labour force growth.

2015 was the first year that home health care in America surpassed nursing care in terms of money spent. That will grow, of course, as the population ages and cultural changes become embedded. And right now, there seems to be a large, perhaps dangerous, shortage of home health care workers.

There are reasons for this. For one, not everyone knows that this is a growing industry. And there are some unfair structural reasons. For one thing, the average pay is low, often under $15 an hour depending on the state. Few jobs come with benefits, and few have consistent hours. That makes people reluctant to take a job.

But that could change. Indeed, the shortage of workers, combined with the growing need, will demand that changes. When labour becomes necessary, wages and benefits go up. It seems almost inevitable.

That’s why not only is this job growing in importance, but as more people realize its importance and the shortage of workers become more apparent, this is a position that will be able to provide a stable and steady income for anyone with the dedication and the heart to take it.

To do so, though, there is a need for home health care. That need is growing, and the profession is changing and getting the esteem and respect it has always deserved. Ideally, wages and other benefits will grow accordingly.

That’s not just a matter of basic economics. It’s not just supply and demand. It comes from recognizing what is important as the nation changes and recognizing what needs to make it happen. That’s why senior home health care jobs are the fastest growing in the country