What do you learn after a disagreement?

If you are very young, in mind and in spirit, you might learn the most immediately following a disagreement or a disappointment. You will learn the most only if you keep an open mind and are open to growth.

If you are young but are approaching maturity you will usually learn the most immediately following a disagreement or a disappointment. You will learn the most only if you keep an open mind and are open to growth. 

If you are older and have kept an open mind and a youthful attitude you will definitely learn the most immediately following a disagreement... although when you disagree with yourself you do it very politely. 

As we move through life and as we end 2018 and move into 2019 challenging ourselves is important. I think we learn more when confronted by those who disagree with us and from trying and failing then we do by surrounding ourselves with those who agree with us and only trying things at which we know we will be successful.

Thinking of retirement in 2019?

2019 could be the year you retire, as it is for my youngest brother. He did the calculations and in May he will pull the plug on his work and become the last of my brothers to retire. As he is much younger than I am, he told me that he watched my health to help him make a decision about when to retire. 

He is retiring a bit early, but all of my brothers did that. As I noted in an earlier post, this is the trend, most people retire earlier than their official retirement date. As part of your planning for retirement, people worry about how long their money will last. While this depends on how long they will live.

In Canada, the average life expectancy is 78.8 years for males and 83.3 years for females born in 2018.  If you are 65 you can expect to live until you are 83.5 as a man and 86.6 as a woman, depending on which province you live in now.  If you live in BC you could expect to live another 2 years on average.

In 2016, life expectancy at birth in the U.S. was 78.6 years, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. For men, it was 76.1 years, while for women it was 81.1. If you are 65 you can expect to live a few years longer.

The question about how long your money will last is tied to your life expectancy, or what you believe about your life expectancy. If you are healthy or have older siblings that are still healthy then you may have to consider that you may live longer than the average. As my brother tells me as long as I stay healthy, then he will continue to watch his money, but if I get sick and die before my 80's, he said he will start to spend more. All joking aside, it is important that you take care of your money as you retire because you don't know how long you will need the money.

Are you on Track?

Three days in 2018, and I am wondering where the year went. Time, as I get older, seems to fly rather than crawl by. Every day is an adventure and life is still very exciting. 

I was thinking that life traces your kindness, much like an airline tracks your frequent flyer miles. The more you give, the more you earn, the higher you fly, and the further you go. So as you set out into the new year, I hope you are still on track. 

Here is to more adventures and flying high in 2019. 

Planning a New Year's Resolution?

We are on our way to a brand new year, lookout 2019 here we come. A few years ago a Palliative Care Nurse, Bonnie Ware,  wrote a book "The top regrets of the Dying" 

As you plan ahead, try to not have any of the regrets listed here. I know I will have regrets, but my hope is that I will learn from what Ms. Ware tells us and that my regrets will be different.  Here are the top five regrets of the dying as published in The Guardian on Feb 1, 2012, written by Susie Steiner

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
"Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

As you plan your New Year's Resolutions and look back at 2018 and forward to 2019 here is something to ask yourself. What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?