Do you play?

As I watch the grandkids in the garden, running through the sprinkler I am delighted by their sense of fun and adventure. I got to thinking as adults how often do we experience that same joy and stress? In times of play which can bring us great stress and/or great joy, we are completely surrounded by loved ones wanting to share whatever we are experiencing. If you have a pet, you probably will admit to playing with your pet. You can play on your own or with a pet, but for greater benefits, play should involve at least one other person. Play helps:

Relieve stress. Play is fun and can trigger the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.

Improve brain function. Playing chess, completing puzzles, or pursuing other fun activities that challenge the brain can help prevent memory problems and improve brain function. The social interaction of playing with family and friends can also help ward off stress and depression.

Stimulate the mind and boost creativity. Young children often learn best when they are playing—a principle that applies to adults, as well. You’ll learn a new task better when it’s fun and you’re in a relaxed and playful mood. Play can also stimulate your imagination, helping you adapt and solve problems.

Improve relationships and your connection to others. Sharing laughter and fun can foster empathy, compassion, trust, and intimacy with others. Play doesn’t have to include a specific activity; it can also be a state of mind. Developing a playful nature can help you loosen up in stressful situations, break the ice with strangers, make new friends, and form new business relationships.

Keep you feeling young and energetic. In the words of George Bernard Shaw, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” Play can boost your energy and vitality and even improve your resistance to disease, helping you function at your best.

Play and relationships

Play is one of the most effective tools for keeping relationships fresh and exciting. Playing together brings joy, vitality, and resilience to relationships. Play can also heal resentments, disagreements, and hurts. Through regular play, we learn to trust one another and feel safe. By making a conscious effort to incorporate more humour and play into your daily interactions, you can improve the quality of your love relationships—as well as your connections with co-workers, family members, and friends.

Play can heal emotional wounds. As adults, when you play together, you are engaging in exactly the same patterns of behaviour that positively shape the brains of children. These same playful behaviours that predict emotional health in children can also lead to positive changes in adults. If an emotionally-insecure individual plays with a secure partner, for example, it can help replace negative beliefs and behaviours with positive assumptions and actions.

So, when you are playing if you can remember to be calm and quiet and go within, you'll feel them, you'll remember them, and you'll benefit most from their presence. 

Dementia and Social Isolation and Loneliness.

Dementia can add a very complicated layer to the already complicated issue of isolation and loneliness in older adults. 

Oftentimes with dementia sufferers, the problem with communication and connection is the initiation of the interaction.  Good conversations can and do happen with dementia patients, but just relying on the patient to get the interaction started can be the stumbling block. 

Robots.  Build or program a robot to get a dementia sufferer’s attention.  For example, when a remote family member wants to talk to the person on the phone, the robot would be programmed to approach the dementia-ed person and then just start talking or initiating the phone conversation.  Thus, the interaction is initiated remotely for the family member via the robot and it is easy for the dementia sufferer to join in.

A lower-tech option: A big sign.  For the same goal of helping to remotely initiate the interaction, you could also use a large sign on the wall in the room.  So, when a phone call from a family member comes in for the dementia sufferer, a special noise will be created.  Correspondingly, a large sign on the wall of the room will say “If you hear a noise, then press the red button on your pad.”  This will help the dementia sufferer get started in the interaction, from a remote location.

Other interesting points regarding dementia were:

 Visitors may need advice and instruction.  Interacting with dementia sufferers can be difficult and challenging at times.  Not all well-intentioned visitors know how to interact with folks with dementia.  Thus, visitation can be boring and awkward.  Basic advice and instruction could be helpful and keep visitors interested incoming back again.

Pets and music can also be beneficial for making a connection with a dementia sufferer.  If regular personal or family visits are not very successful, pets or music may be an option that opens the door to connection and communication.

Housing Solutions for Social Isolation. 

Some interesting options in housing can help combat isolation and loneliness among older adults.  Especially as we get older, the type of housing we occupy can greatly affect not only our physical but also our mental wellbeing.

All-age residential hotels.  There are "all-age’ living facilities, compared to more age-segregated communities.  More specifically, they like the atmosphere and higher energy, as well as the increased opportunities to connect with different ages and learn new things.   

Accessory unit rentals.  As one becomes older, and as family situations change, a current house could become too big for one person.  Accessory units (or ‘granny units’) on the property can be rented out, or maybe separate living quarters can be made of current house space.  Housing rental could also be exchanged for home maintenance, help, and companionship.  Graduate students would be good candidates for this option.

Co-housing.  Somewhat of a newer option that seems well-received thus far is co-housing, where residents (old and young) share living facilities.  The benefits for older adults are shared help, companionship and contact with younger generations.  However, such facilities are few in a number of areas, and efforts need to be made to ensure residents are harmonious with each other.

Apartment-complex social programs.  Some apartment complexes also provide organized social programs, which can provide multigenerational contacts to avoid isolation.

Basic Definition of “Social Isolation and Loneliness”

‘Social isolation and loneliness’ are complex.  Loneliness is often experienced as more of an anxious or sad feeling.  However, you don’t necessarily have to be alone in order to experience it. Sometimes you can feel lonely even when surrounded by other people.

And, being ‘alone’ could be good or bad; it doesn’t necessarily mean you are lonely.  We all want to be alone at least once in a while; for example, when you feel tired and would like to take a nap.  Another example is that some people may prefer living alone versus living with others and are perfectly content with that choice.

Personal Motivation and Initiative. 

One factor sometimes affecting isolation and loneliness in older adults is simply a person’s motivations and initiative.  Some people are fun, good people, but are not very good at ‘breaking the ice’.

A number of individuals don’t seem to have that initiative or ability to initiate an interaction.  They are often fine and fun to be with when someone else takes the initiative to start an interaction.  But if someone else does not initiate the connection or interaction, the interaction never takes place.  Once they get over that initial first step, they are often fine.

Insights/Advice:

Each individual needs to take the initiative, but some don’t know how or are really incapable of doing that.  Oftentimes, this lack of motivation or initiative is a personality-related issue that can be hard to change.  It is part of why they are isolated. 

It can be a hard job to get some people motivated to participate.  Some are scared; possibly afraid of rejection. 

Some don't want to ‘compete’ socially; they feel inadequate or uncomfortable. 

Opportunities are out there for older adults; find your interests.  Take the initiative to get an association or connection, and be persistent; stick to it for a while.  Be open to opportunities; break out of your comfort zone.  Be more proactive in calling people/friends.

One caveat: Sociability, or the lack of, can be situational.  There are times, for example, when you just don't want to join other people for dinner.  A couple may want to eat alone or just dine with each other.  There are times, too, when you may be tired and just don’t want to interact with people.  ‘Situational sociability’ is quite different from social isolation and loneliness.

Technology and the Internet. 

There is a lot of potential for technology to help us battle isolation and loneliness among older adults.  Some examples include:

Robotics.  One example that was cited: Robots exist that can read the same books as you, and can actually discuss the book with you.  An interesting new option that is still primitive at this point, but is getting better fast.

Smart-Phone and Computer Apps.  Currently, there are apps that can alert you, for example, that someone is nearby that is interested in meeting to get coffee.  Or, other affinity-related apps for alerting you that I’m available and nearby for a walk, etc.

Alexa/Artificial Intelligence (AI).  Taking the above affinity apps one step further, Alexa or similar AI capabilities allow a person to ask it to find others that want (e.g.) coffee, or other affinities.  ‘Alexa’, by requiring just talking or speaking, can make these activities or benefits even easier to do.

Woven into these discussions, though, is the caveat that older adults wanted and needed better and simpler setups for using this technology.  Simplicity, good instruction, and ease of use were critical to them, otherwise, these barriers can deter many older adults from using these technologies.

Isolation and loneliness 2

Isolation and loneliness are very real fears for many older adults.   

There are a number of identified ways to help combat isolation and loneliness in either our own lives or the lives of others, as we grow older.  Here is a list (in no particular order):

Pets.  Having your own pet, or helping someone else with their pet, can be very helpful.  For example, walking a neighbour’s dog every day.  Pet responsibilities can help give people purpose and meaning.

Senior clubs.  Our explorers are aware of a number of great clubs, which often provide and arrange transportation as well.  Typically, the clubs offer a wide variety of arts, education, and physical exercise opportunities.

Affinity clubs or organizations.  Become a member of a formal or informal group that is united by a common theme or activity.  Find what you like to do, take the initiative to find like-minded people, and stick to it.  This will be a big help in mitigating social isolation and loneliness.

Cross-generational interactions.  Try to have interactions with different generations.  For example, living at an all-age residential hotel (vs. more age-segregated).  Some older adults like the atmosphere and the energy they experience, and they often learn new things in their multigenerational experiences.  

Good neighbours.  People nearby that you can trust and that can check in on you periodically.  These simple interactions can be very valuable and oftentimes turn into genuine friendships.

Housing options.  Various community living and care arrangements which can help provide or facilitate companionship.  For example, multigenerational living facilities, co-housing with matched renters, and accessory-unit rentals can increase social contacts and interactions.

‘Buddy’ system, or a check-in system.  Having some sort of daily-checking routine can be very helpful and reassuring and combat isolation and loneliness.  For example, sending a text to a family member every day before lunch; or, making sure your living room curtains are open every morning (to let neighbours know that you are up and about).

Regular visitors, or social service program visitors.  Simple visitation can be a big help in fighting isolation and loneliness.  Whether it be a friend, family member, neighbour, or an assigned social service volunteer; their visits and conversations are often much anticipated and appreciated by older adults.

The internet.  Easy access to the internet can make a big difference.  It does not replace the need for social interactions, but it can be a good substitute sometimes, as well as a great source for interests and online activities.  People may need to be taught how to use the internet, and it can be expensive for some.

Television.  Even television can help reduce the feeling of social isolation and loneliness.  It gives you a connection with the outside world.  Its advantage is that it is familiar and can be easy to operate.

Robots; AI (artificial intelligence); Alexa.  These options seem to be primitive at this point, but they also seem to be getting better very quickly.  They can provide a partial solution to social isolation, but cannot truly replace human face-to-face social interaction.  Some explorers see a lot of potential here.

Community education courses for older adults.  Community classes for older adults can be very good for social interaction.  Not only that, but they are typically a lot of fun and very educational.