Jan 2, time to laugh

I've got old age figured out. It is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.

Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

My retired friend of mine applied for a job as an insurance salesman. Where the form requested "prior experience," he wrote "lifeguard." That was it. Nothing else.

"We're looking for someone who can not only sell insurance but who can sell himself as well," said the hiring manager. "How does working as a lifeguard pertain to salesmanship?"

My pal replied, "I couldn't swim."

He got the job.

You know you're getting old when your dreams are dry and your farts are

wet.

Consciousness is that annoying time between naps.

One day at the watering hole, an elephant looked around and carefully surveyed the turtles in view. After a few seconds thought, he walked over to one turtle, raised his foot, and kicked the turtle as far as he could. 

A watching hyena asked the elephant why he did it. "Well, about 30 years ago I was walking through a stream and a turtle bit my foot. Finally, I found the S.O.B and repaid him for what he had done to me." "30 years!!! And you remembered ...But how???"

"I have turtle recall."

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

For my Aussie friends, My aunt's beloved cat Ginger had grown seriously overweight, so she decided to take him to the vet to find out if there was anything wrong with him - and more to the point, whether anything could be done about it. 

So, she put him into the kit- ty-carry box and drove to the surgery. The doc prescribed a course of pills, and my aunt

left, happy in the knowledge that Ginger would soon be his slim old self again. But after a few weeks of taking the pills, there was no change: Ginger was as fat as ever. Soon months had gone by, and still, there was no difference. In fact, if anything, it was getting worse. 

The other problem was the invoices from the vet - these pills were costing a fortune. It soon became clear to us all that Ginger had become a doc-billed fatty-puss.  :o)

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Paul Wallbank decided to ponder what might the biggest tech trends in business might look like in 2020. So, as we start 2020 let's look at some of his ideas for fun. HAPPY NEW YEAR

Now we’re in the second decade of the Twenty-First Century, business is accelerating as a combination of changes in technology and society come together.

Many of these trends have been predicted for some time. It’s the availability of the cheap (almost free!) computing power that’s delivering many of the promises made by technology over the last thirty years. These are worth examining more closely.

The top business trends in 2020 might be

1) Robots taking our jobs

Probably the biggest change that is affecting our businesses is how machines are taking over tasks ranging from window cleaning to inventory management. Anyone with a transaction-based job or business will be having a forced career change before the end of the decade.

2) The Internet of machines

Those robots and computers are talking to each other which speeds up business decisions and will strip layers of management from organizations.

3) Flatter organizations

A consequence of those faster decisions is the need for less management. Organizations need to be flatter in order to process information faster unless they want to risk nimble competitors seizing business opportunities.

4) 3D printing

One of the most exciting, and business changing, technologies is 3D printing which allows you to print a coffee cup at your desk, help robots construct new buildings and a give a little boy a set of fingers.

5) Nano-technology

3D printing is happening alongside biological engineering. By the end of the decade, we’ll be able to print our own skin. By 2030, we’ll be printing replacement body parts like heart valves.

6) Mobile apps redefining service industries

The mobile phone app is currently booming but the real effects of these mobile services will be felt on industries as diverse as the taxi industry to the mining and agricultural sectors.

7) The fight for control of the mobile payments system

An upshot of the app economy is the question of who processes, and makes money, from online payments. The battle between banks, credit card companies, telcos and software companies is going to be a major business story of the decade.

8) Reinventing entertainment

Apps and connected machines are going to change consumer behaviour and nowhere is this more notable in the entertainment industries which are being revolutionized by tools like Google Glasses and social media.

9) The fall and rise of social media

Like many innovations social media was greatly hyped and now we’re seeing the backlash of it being oversold. Over the rest of the decade, organizations are going to figure out how to use social media services effectively and profitably without hype.

10) Newspapers cease to exist

One of the effects of social media, mobile phone apps and the pervasive internet is the end of newspapers by 2020 as futurist Ross Dawson has predicted.

Healthy Ageing 5

As we end the year, here is the final look at healthy ageing for a while. The look ends with the idea of how important it is to volunteer. So as we look forward to 2020 consider making volunteering one of your commitments for the new year.

Back in 2011, the Ministry of Health for British Columbia looked at what the literature said about healthy ageing. Here is some of what was in this report which was called Planning for Healthy Ageing A Literature Review, written by Eleanor Kallio, Senior Policy Analyst, Research, Knowledge Translation and Library Services Branch, Planning and Innovation Division, Ministry of Health, Victoria, British Columbia, published in 2011

Volunteering

Approximately one-third of Canadians age 65 and older volunteer; and they volunteer more hours than other age groups. This is an example of a productive ageing activity. Older adults have knowledge, skills and abilities, which they can give if barriers are removed, and opportunities made known. Volunteering offers many benefits: it helps keep people connected with communities, is associated with longevity, and increases both happiness and satisfaction. 

The reasons older adults volunteer are both personal and altruistic: to benefit the community and feel a sense of belonging, to have social interaction and mental stimulation, to feel useful, and occupy free time. For volunteering to be long-lasting and satisfying, a good and enjoyable fit is important. One should establish volunteering earlier in life, or opportunities in later life may be lost, due to declining health.

Healthy Ageing 4

Back in 2011, the Ministry of Health for British Columbia looked at what the literature said about healthy ageing. Here is some of what was in this report which was called Planning for Healthy Ageing A Literature Review, written by Eleanor Kallio, Senior Policy Analyst, Research, Knowledge Translation and Library Services Branch, Planning and Innovation Division, Ministry of Health, Victoria, British Columbia, published in 2011

Finance

At every income level, financial planning can contribute to greater well-being, and is a pillar of healthy ageing. It can help the older adult avoid or reduce poverty, and maintain an adequate income for an active and independent lifestyle. It can also provide more options, should life circumstances or health status suddenly change, and a cushion is needed. For example, if the ability to do yard work or housecleaning becomes a challenge, it can still be possible to remain at home by engaging assistance with these tasks.

A significant percentage of Canadian seniors live below the poverty line, with women at higher risk for financial insecurity in older age. Women are generally less financially prepared for retirement: they are less financially literate, save less, and live longer, so they must support themselves longer.

Many older adults rely too heavily on the Old Age Security and Canada Pension Plan as their main retirement income. One or two sources of income are not a strong financial foundation, should changes in health or circumstance occur. A three-pronged approach is recommended, public pension plus two other sources, such as savings, employer pensions or real estate investments. Most people need to pay more attention to financial planning and begin thinking earlier about the desired lifestyle in retirement and discover the steps to achieve it. All mid-life adults and older adults should become financially literate and work for financial stability.