Time for some humour

 My thanks to my Facebook friends for these great lines from Hollywood Squares:

Q . Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?

A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

 

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.

 

Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

 

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

 

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years?

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

 

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

 

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?

A.. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

 

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

 

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?

A.George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

 

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

 

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

 

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?

A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

 

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

 

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

 

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

 

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

 

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

 

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

 

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

 

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

 

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

Planning a Canadian Funeral?

 Average Canadian Funeral Costs and The Process

This is a great resource for those who are planning a funeral in Canada. I am highlighting only a small portion of the information on this page. I highly recommend you go to the page and read the entire article.

Types of Funeral Arrangements In Canada

In Canada, there are four types of funeral arrangements in Canada that you can choose from.

Traditional Funeral – This is a full traditional funeral with all the bells and whistles and may include burial, mausoleum, or cremation.

Memorial – This may be where the deceased has already been buried or cremated but with a service. Also, if the body has not been embalmed the family may choose a memorial and no viewing for this purpose.

Graveside Funeral – This type of funeral takes place at the graveside where the casket or ashes will be placed.

Quick cremation or burial – This type of funeral happens fast right after death with no viewing or service and is the cheapest funeral arrangement to make.

When you create your WILL it’s important to state what type of a funeral, you’d like so your wishes are met.

Most importantly preparing your Estate Will ahead of time will save you money, less stress on the executor and family, and allows you time to save for the costs involved.

What Is the Average Cost of Funeral Expenses In Canada?

The average cost of a funeral in Canada is around $8500 or more depending on what you include.

You can Google all you want the prices of what the funeral cost will be and get various numbers.

If you’ve been through the process of burying a loved one, then you know how easy costs can escalate based on choices.

Cremation for example can cost anywhere from $2000 to $5000 whereas a traditional burial funeral with a casket and ceremony can cost $7000- $15,000 or more.

Basic funeral costs can start around $5000 to upwards of $15,000 for the average price.

On the other hand, if you opt for a Catholic funeral service with the whole nine-yards including burial in a mausoleum the costs are well into $35,000-$40,000.

The moral of the funeral costs story is that if you have a wish to be buried a certain way then start saving now.

How to Research Funeral Costs In Your Area?

My advice is if you know what area or funeral home you would like your service done at you can do a few things to find out costs.

Go to the funeral home website where almost all list pricing for their services

Make a phone call and perhaps an appointment to visit with a funeral director to talk about the process and costs involved.

Call the church to see what costs would be involved with hiring the priest for a mass or service at the funeral home or burial.

Shop around for funeral flowers for casket arrangements to get average costs

Find out whether the funeral home you choose allows you to buy a casket or urn from a third party or what the costs are of the caskets and urns they sell. Some funeral homes will allow you to buy a casket outside of the home but consider shipping costs and timing as well.

Also, don’t be afraid to ask for a bundle discount if you plan on using quite a few of the services at the funeral home.

The Law of Relevance

When something is "relevant," it matters. Its importance is clear at least to the objective observer. Relevance is the concept of one topic being connected to another topic in a way that makes it useful to consider the second topic when considering the first. If something does not have relevance to the problem we are facing, we need not consider it as we try to solve our issue or move forward in our life.

So, consider these ideas and see if they are relevant to us as we face this pandemic. No matter how scared, or tired, or ill you are; no matter how lost, or confused, or desperate you become; no matter how lonely, depressed, or cranky you feel. If you just do what you can, with what you have, from right where you are, it will always be enough. Pretty good odds, huh?

The concept of relevance is studied in many different fields, including cognitive sciences, logic, and library and information science Relevance is simply the noun form which means important to the matter at hand. As we face the pandemic, many of including artists and politicians are worried about our relevance but as we are on this journey into the unknown or forgotten realm of a new normal, we really do not know what is relevant and what is not. So, no matter what your situation, do what you can with what you have, and it will be enough. If it is not enough then you will find the strength and courage to find what you need to make it relevant. Life is not strange as mankind has always worked with what we have to make our world relevant, and we, I think always will.

 

Preventing Falls 2

Fall Prevention ideas

One

Remove home hazards

Look around your house; the most common hazard is tripping on objects on the floor. Other factors include poor lighting, loose rugs, and lack of grab bars or poorly located grab bars.

Get an occupational therapy evaluation who is trained to identify risk factors and recommend appropriate actions

Move coffee tables, magazine racks and plant stands from high-traffic areas

Remove newspapers, electrical cords, and phone cords from walkways

Remove throw rugs or use rubber backing or apply double-sided adhesive carpet tape to the backs to prevent slipping or remove them

Install handrails on both sided of stairs. Make sure to have adequate light at the bottom and top of the stairs

Store clothing, dishes, food within easy reach

Install night lights in bedroom, bathroom, and hallways

Install grab bars on bathroom walls

Use greater than 100 W light bulbs

Purchase portable phone that you can take with you or carry round neck

Two

Wear sensible shoes

Consider changing your footwear as part of your fall-prevention plan

High heels, floppy slippers, and shoes with extra-thick or slippery soles can make you slip, stumble and fall

Buy properly fitting, sturdy shoes with thin non-slip soled shoes, not thick-soled jogging shoes or heels.

Choose lace-up shoes instead of slip-on, or Velcro shoes

Three

Vision: Get your vision checked regularly

Age-related vision diseases can increase the risk of falling.

Cataracts and glaucoma alter a person’s depth perception, visual acuity, peripheral vision, and susceptibility to glare. This can hinder the ability to safely negotiate around the home.

Diminished vision can be corrected with glasses, however, often glasses are bifocal so that when a person looks down through the lower half of the glasses, the depth is altered. To prevent this, people who wear bifocals need to practice looking straight ahead and lowering the head.

Use colour contrast to balance aids like grab bars

Add contrasting colour or reflective strips to first and last steps

Clean eyeglasses regularly

Four

Medication: Make an appointment with your doctor

Have a review of your medication periodically by your physician from a perspective of fall prevention. Sedatives, anti-depressants, blood pressure medication and psychotropic drugs can contribute to falls by reducing mental alertness, alter balance, and cause drops in systolic blood pressure while standing. Also, those taking more than four medications have a higher risk of falls

Know the common side effects of all medications

Talk with your physician or pharmacist about ways to reduce your chances of falling by using the lowest dosage, regularly assessing the need for continued medication, and the need for a physical therapy evaluation for walking aids while on certain medications.

Adverse effects of medications are a potentially reversible factor in reducing falls risk and should be included in multidisciplinary falls interventions

Five

Exercise: Keep moving!

Targeted balance and mobility exercises are most effective at reducing fall risk. There is good evidence of benefit from exercise in fall prevention. Failure to exercise regularly results in poor muscle tone, decreased strength, loss of bone mass, and decreased balance. Balance is a skill or can keep or recapture at any age!!

Research shows that specific balance exercises have the strongest link to preventing falls

Get a balance assessment as part of a 6-month check-up by your Physical Therapist

Engage regularly in a custom exercise program (every day for 30 minutes) or a group exercise class