Doing Nothing

We were golfing and my friend said I need to learn to do nothing. I laughed and agreed with him. I find it hard to do nothing, but there are times when it is best to do nothing.

Here’s a checklist I use for when to do nothing:

Do nothing when you’re angry. Some people think anger can focus emotions, but it doesn’t. You must wait until it settles down and you get perspective. Time is the morphine drip that soothes the anger. Then you can act. Anger is just an outer reflection of inner fear. The fear might be correct, but the anger blurs it.

Do nothing when you’re paranoid. There are times when I’m not afraid, I’m paranoid. I imagine a chaotic future filled with misery and hate and homelessness and loneliness. Some see that as fear. My best bet is to sit down and picture a more realistic future, one because almost 99 percent of what I’ve been paranoid about in the past never comes true.

Do nothing when you’re anxious. There are times when we can become anxious, a strange phone call from a loved one, an email message that is not clear, etc. But there is nothing that is ever so important it can’t wait. And if it was that important, then it’s a roadmap to you and not the situation. It’s an opportunity to say, “What about my life can be rearranged so that this one thing doesn’t throw me off so much? What things can I change?” And then have fun changing them.

Do nothing when you’re tired. I was trying to figure out something on the computer the other day. It was both very technical and related to money. First, it was 1 p.m. Then it was 6 p.m. Then, against all my rules for a “daily practice,” it was midnight. And I was no closer to figuring it out. I was tired. My eyes were blurry. So, I went to sleep. Sleep hygiene is the best way to improve productivity in your life. I did finally figure it out, because I got the rest I needed.

Do nothing when you want to be liked. Over our lives we have wanted to be liked and we have done things to try to make someone like us. And it works. I put in the input (flattery, attention, false love) and get out the output (false love back). And continue to live the illusion in search of the dream, in avoidance of the nightmare, ignorant of the reality. It is better to do nothing, to make someone like you. If it was meant to be it will happen, if not move on.

Think about when you’ve been happiest with your life (and if that’s not a reasonable goal then what is?). Is it during those moments when your thoughts have been frenetic and all over the place? Or has it been those moments when your thoughts have been calm – the depths of a peaceful ocean instead of a stormy surface.

It’s when we are in touch with the magic of our silence that we find our inner creators and can change the universe.

Just show up

Woody Allen was quoted as saying, “80% of success is just showing up.” That’s certainly a good start. As you consider retirement of a change of career, remember just show up. When (not if) you get knocked down, get right back in the game. And when you do, keep playing full out.   

The bad news is that there are people out there who are playing to win. They have decided to stop making excuses and start making decisions (and follow them up with inspired action)!

The people in your world need you and your gifts, but they are not going to wait forever for you. That’s just reality. At the end of the day, you are the one accountable for what happens in your life. Not your coach, your team, your spouse, or “the Universe.”

So…are you ready for the good news? Here goes: 

IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT WHATEVER HAPPENED! You are to blame. The finger is pointing at you. Did you just choke? Or get angry? Then maybe you need to reinvent your relationship to the words “fault” and “blame.”

What if instead, I said, you are responsible. Is that a little better? Now let’s take it one step further. 

So, when you take 100% full responsibility for your life, you are empowered to make it different! 

And here’s the brilliant bit: it doesn’t matter if it’s “true.” Just act as if you are responsible and take steps to change course, make a different choice, take the right action. 

Now get in the game and play like you mean it. Play to win! 

(Oh, and smile while you’re at it.) :-)

Opportunity knocks

Planning for retirement is not just about looking forward to freedom and building a new life, it is also about looking back over your most brilliant successes, stunning comebacks, amazing catches, and smoking' ideas.

We all have had these events in our lives, our careers, our romances, and our failures When I think of many of them, I realized that virtually all of them seemed to materialize out of thin air, when I least expected them, and that they had exceeded even my greatest expectations at the time. I believe it is because we have the ability to know what we need, and we also have the ability to know when to act when needed. When I was younger people would say to me, “Opportunity only knocks once, take advantage when it does.”

I know now that is not a true statement. Opportunity is all around us and is knocking and sometimes yelling at us through the door. Many of us ignore all the opportunity as we struggle to make our lives livable and reasonably secure. Those that hear opportunity and embrace her when they can sometimes hold on and they fail but they have amazing comebacks. Thinking about the opportunity’s retirement brings you how cannot we be excited would you be about the new year?

Questions

2020 was a shock to our collective systems and we are ready for a better 2021, yet a better year has not yet arrived. Some of you may have thought of retiring in 2020 but have put it off until COVID is brought under control. That wait is good, but well you are waiting here are some questions that you should take time to spend in introspection as you prepare for retirement.

They will help you identify mistakes of the past and how you can turn your retirement into a time where you reach your dreams or get back in shape, rekindle an important personal relationship, or make a dent in the universe through your giving and value-adding.

1) What has changed since you started thinking of retirement?

2) Where did you "exceed your known definition of greatness"?

3) Where did you fall short?

4) What did you learn about yourself or those around you that you didn't know before?

5) What are the areas in your life that need transformation?

6) Will you continue to focus on something you started here?

7) Could you apply this discipline elsewhere, such as marriage, exercise, a job, your social life, etc.?

Remember that more change happens in the mind than in reality. Be sure to observe and acknowledge how you've evolved, matured, or otherwise improved your mindset as well as the tangible results you've produced. Roll with the punches, baby. Be honest with yourself.

A transformation is an active pursuit, one that requires initiative, drive, desire, planning, and follow-through. Conduct an open-eyed, honest review.

Then go live your life. Take some chances, even if there's the possibility of failure. Be an opportunist, keeping an open mind and seeing new possibilities you might never have considered before."

Take stock. Spend time by yourself thinking about yourself. It might be uncomfortable. But it will be worth every minute.

Don't dwell on past mistakes because that will get you nowhere. Instead, focus on what you can and WILL do today, tomorrow, and the rest of your life, and all the great things that will happen because of your actions. 

Don't wait for the 'time to be right' (i.e., until it's too late) to act on your goals. If there's something you really want to do - if there is a dream body, you want to achieve or a change in life you need - then find a way to do it now.

Instead of waiting, just get started.

Focus on replacing your bad habits and thought patterns, one-by-one, over time, with good habits and thought patterns. One step at a time, done over time, leads to powerful changes in your life.

Everything you do is either moving you closer to or farther away from your goals. So which way will you be moving today? 

Remember that every action has an impact. 

Remember that every decision makes things better or worse. 

Remember that everything counts, 

Set your goals. Follow your dreams. Start today. Start right now!