I didn't start the fire

I was talking to a 40-year-old about how depressing the world seems to be now. We talked about inflation, the war in Ukraine, COVID, mass shootings and many other topics. She feared for her children and how they would cope. The events we are going through along with her reaction to them, will, I believe shape her children’s view of the world as they grow.

The conversation got me thinking about my youth. As my generation grew, we were fighting a “cold war” in Europe and a “hot war” first in Korea and then in Vietnam. The threat of worldwide annihilation by nuclear war was with us every day and we practiced protecting ourselves by hiding under our desks at school and our basements at home. Where I lived the winds would bring in dust from the nuclear tests and we would stay inside for a few days to protect ourselves from the fallout. 

That was the 50s in the 60s things got worse. John Kennedy and his brother were assassinated along with Martin Luther King, Jr. The US was at war internally, race issues and opposition to the war galvanized both sides and violence was an almost everyday experience, if not in person then on TV.

There were good things, my parents stayed calm and maintained a normal family life. Being encouraged to try new things and go to a new University., Also, meeting my future wife, starting new adventures, and getting married. events like Woodstock, and the moon landing also shaped me. Finally, privacy was a given, and there was no internet.

But that’s me. How about you? What were the epochal events in the country and the world that shaped you?

 

I can relate

 The following was inspired by Ken Kuhn in the Tri-Cities Seniors Action Society Newsletter. Thank you, Ken.

Cooperation, Volunteering, and Civic Participation

It is cooperation, not competition that has allowed humanity to survive over the ages. Social Darwinism theory tied with the rise of libertarianism in the 80s has led us to believe that there are limited resources, and we suffer by helping others. It’s the foundation of this belief that if you are poor, then it is your fault. The super-rich benefit by seeing the lower classes fighting. The media reinforce the lie of exaggerated individuality and narcissism that we must fight hard against. 

We must say I will love my fellow humans, I will feed the poor, I will help the sick….and, if we all work together, we can have good lives full of plenty.

Most people we run into, are good people. No one wants anyone to go hungry, nobody wants people to go without medicine or seeing a doctor, living in a decent home, all the basic stuff. We should be able to provide for everyone.

Civic participation and volunteering are pillars of our community and can help people keep a healthy, active and engaged life. These benefits can be observed in older adults who build relationships while participating and volunteering that reduces loneliness and social isolation, but also improves their health and quality of life. Civic participation and volunteering aim to help others, solve community problems, or produce common goods or results. 

Such participation conveys the idea of social action, such as helping friends and neighbours, donating to a charity or organization, or volunteering for a community organization. Organizations in our community surely need you. Civic participation and especially volunteering seem to be the key to meeting the needs of older adults, exercise, building relationships, and healthy active aging. But beyond volunteering, you can also be an agent of change by defending a social, environmental, or political cause. 

Make your voice heard in order to influence decision-making processes. Our communities have civic elections coming this Fall so be sure you get involved and give that “seniors’ voice” to making our community “age-friendly--from 8 to 80 years of age or from stroller to walker” and making our communities safe for all--including older adults.

Another post on Ageism

Ageism--Stereotyping and Discrimination Ageism has been defined as the process of systematic stereotyping and discrimination against older people because of age, with a distinct valuing of younger age groups. It is really any prejudice or discrimination against or in favour of any age group.

Regarding older adults, ageism allows people to covertly justify certain discriminatory behaviours, and tolerate activities toward older adults that would be considered unacceptable if experienced by other adults. Systemic ageism can include the design and everyday operations of workplaces, services, programs and facilities.

Discrimination may also happen when a rule, condition, policy or practice that is the same for everyone has an unfair effect on a person because of their age. Institutional ageism includes missions, rules, and practices that discriminate against individuals and or groups because of their older age:

•        Choices regarding scarce resources (respirators during COVID for younger people before seniors)

•        Mandatory retirement

•        Absence of older persons in clinical trials (vaccinations, drugs)

•        Devaluing of older persons in cost-benefit analyses (not valuing their skill set, experience, and volunteering)

Ageism has been called a “pervasive and sinister plague” in Canada. The most commonly named forms of ageism faced by seniors in Canada were:

•        treating them as if they’re invisible (41 percent);

•        acting as if they have nothing to contribute (38 percent);

•        assuming they’re incompetent (27 percent).

Canadians over 65 perceived a variety of perpetrators for these attitudes, including:

•        people younger than themselves (56 percent);

•        health care professionals and the health care system (34 percent); and

•        the government (27 percent).

Age cases tend to be treated differently than other discrimination cases… which in comparable circumstances would generate outrage if the ground of discrimination were say race, sex or disability.

Paradoxically the people who like old people are more likely to engage in ‘over accommodating’ language (“dear” “mum” “sweetie”) Ageism and healthcare Seniors are often interacting with the healthcare system, for obvious reasons.

·        Absence of services for older adults

·        Focus on acute care and cure rather than chronic care

·        Age-based decision-making in health (“age rationing”)

·        Making decisions about the quality of older people’s lives

·        Paternalism

·        Omission from clinical trials

·        Less treatment for mental health issues (15% of mental health care; 80% for 20-64)

·        Forced decisions

·        Also gender bias – more radical mastectomies, less reconstructive surgery

·        Overmedication of older adults:

o   anxiety meds double over 65

o   hypnotic medication use more than triple

o   Polypharmacy’ – multiple drugs (2out of 3 Canadians age 65+ take at least 5 prescription medications. 1 out of 4 Canadians age 65+ takes at least 10 prescription medications.)

o   Medication can be a form of ‘restraint’ in care homes (over medication)

o   40% of all emergency department visits by older adults are medication related

Video on Ageism On Aging Canadian Conversations: Ageism with Margaret Gillis - YouTube (30 minutes)

Memories are hard to get rid of

 I have talked to a number of people recently who are running into the same problem we had a few years back. Getting rid of things, the older generation left us. My mother-in-law passed about five years ago, and she had collected a great deal of sentimental and other goods. We did not have room for it and none of the grandkids wanted it. So, we still have some of it, some of it we gave away, but it was not easy.

Our parents, were savers, having learned in the lean times of war and the Great Depression to treasure what they owned. We are consumers. Together, we will leave behind houses jammed with mahogany dining room sets, silver platters, crystal figurines and all manner of things that their kids and grandkids don’t want. Grandma’s massive China cabinet is not going to fit into the smaller homes our children and grandchildren are living in today.

So, when a grandparent or a parent dies or downsizes what’s the result? An endless series of garage sales and trips to the landfill. An exhausting cycle of cluttering and decluttering. Because, let’s be honest, we all already have too much stuff as it is.

How we treat the stuff of past generations – and how we divest our own belongings to the people we love – offers a lesson in what we value too much and perhaps don’t value enough. What matters in the end? What endures? That’s the challenge: what to take – and what to leave behind – when you close the door on your parents’ home for the last time.

Sorting, culling, and tossing all that “accumulation of life,” is hard, there’s an emotional challenge to dealing with the treasure and trash that your parents leave behind. It’s not easy to throw away these pieces of them.

In Canada, there is The Association of ProfessionalOrganizers with over 600 members ready to help with the handwringing over those cherished knickknacks. Most of us want this task to be done properly, respectfully and fairly (also cheaply and quickly) while ghosts hover. The whole process shakes awake buried sorrows, sibling rivalries, and family Sons and daughters who have faced the chore describe wrestling with how to do this, if it was just junk, it would not be so hard. But possessions have meaning; they tell stories and reinforce our memories.

We still have things in boxes that my mother-in-law left that have not been opened. It’s just so easy to be immobilized by what to do with her things because there is the fear that if we got rid of their stuff, we could never find them again.