Barbieland vs. The Real World—Lessons for Barbie & Kens

My thanks to my friend Ken for this idea.  If you have not seen this movie, I highly recommend it. Our organization took a group of seniors to see it and the reviews were all very positive. It is not a children's movie, it resonates with adults or at least seniors.

This movie sends many messages, with stereotypical Barbie living a perfect life. However, she lacks an occupation, which leaves her feeling empty when she starts to malfunction. The movie offers lessons for both Barbies and Kens. Barbie realizes that being just an "idea" of a woman no longer fulfills her. Her path to joy involves embracing her humanity, including all its complexities, heartaches, and imperfections.

The Barbie movie unfolds in two worlds. One is Barbieland, a hyper-feminized doll land, while the other is the Real World, where men mostly hold power, and women struggle to be heard. Initially in Barbieland, Barbie and the other Barbies enjoy power and influence without facing the sexism, oppression, or insecurities that human women endure. Ken's role in Barbie Land is limited to following Barbie like a puppy, waiting for her attention without much significance.

The idyllic bubble of Barbieland bursts when Barbie experiences existential dread and insecurities, mirroring the thoughts of the human playing with her in the Real World. To address this, she and Ken venture into the Real World, where Barbie confronts the emotional weight of womanhood. She questions her worth, intelligence, capabilities, and beauty.

Meanwhile, Ken experiences male privilege for the first time, noticing how men in the Real World hold power, respect, and influence. He believes bringing these ideas back to Barbie Land is the key to his happiness. Ken transforms Barbie's Dreamhouse into a frat house, embracing hyper-masculine ideals.

Ultimately, the movie teaches valuable lessons. Barbie realizes that being an "idea" of a woman isn't fulfilling; true joy comes from embracing her humanity. Similarly, Ken learns that conforming to hyper-masculinity or being Barbie's sidekick won't bring happiness. He must discover his identity and desires on his own terms, symbolized hilariously by his wearing a tie-dyed hoodie with "I am Kenough" emblazoned on it.

Boomers talk to your children about ageism.

 A lot of my friends are boomers, and they have children who are in their forties. I thought about this and decided to see how we can identify the scope of ageism for our children. Ageism is a complex and pervasive issue that affects many seniors, often intersecting with other forms of discrimination such as sexism, racism, and ableism to compound its negative effects. The consequences of ageism can be severe, including poor health outcomes, reduced longevity, abuse and neglect, financial insecurity, stigma, loss of confidence and self-esteem, and intergenerational conflict.

For those in their forties, it's essential to recognize the role that ageism plays in our society and understand how it can impact the lives of seniors. By becoming aware of and challenging our own biases and stereotypes, we can help create a more inclusive and equitable society for people of all ages.

One way to start addressing ageism is by becoming more aware of the language we use when talking about aging and older adults. Using positive and respectful language can help challenge negative stereotypes and promote a more accurate and nuanced understanding of aging.

Another way to combat ageism is by advocating for policies and structures that support the rights and needs of older adults. This can include things like affordable housing, accessible transportation, and healthcare services that are tailored to the unique needs of seniors.

It's also essential to recognize and challenge the ways that ageism intersects with other forms of discrimination. For example, older women, people of color, and those with disabilities may face additional barriers and challenges due to the intersection of ageism with sexism, racism, and ableism.

Ultimately, addressing ageism requires a collective effort from people of all ages. By working together to challenge stereotypes, promote positive language and images, and advocate for policies and structures that support the rights and needs of older adults, we can help create a more inclusive and equitable society for everyone.

It's important to note that ageism is not only a problem for older adults, but it also affects younger people as well. Ageism can limit opportunities for younger generations, create intergenerational conflict, and limit the development of quality programs and policies that can help safeguard against future harm.

In conclusion, ageism is a complex and pervasive social issue that has serious consequences for seniors. By becoming aware of and challenging our own biases and stereotypes, advocating for policies and structures that support the rights and needs of older adults, and promoting positive language and images, we can help combat ageism and create a more inclusive and equitable society for people of all ages.

Choice is not an option

 Over time I have heard this over and over again. “Everything is a choice.” This is, of course, true on a very basic level. However, the next line is presented as a stark choice. For example, Do I choose to seek the positive or the negative?  The light or the dark?  To help myself or hinder myself? 

Embracing the idea that "everything is a choice" can lead to profound insights and transformations in our lives. When we acknowledge that we have the power to choose our perspectives, attitudes, and actions, it opens up a world of possibilities.

Choosing to focus on the positive rather than the negative can drastically alter your experiences. I think we’d take more risks as we wouldn’t be so afraid.    I think life would be so much more fun and lighter and delightful.  And I think we would explode in our ability to learn and grow.

Choosing to embrace the light over the dark signifies a preference for optimism, hope, and brightness in life. Opting to help oneself rather than hinder oneself can lead to personal empowerment and self-improvement. It involves taking responsibility for our actions and decisions, working towards goals, and seeking support and resources when needed.

What if we embraced that life and learning is a gift where you can teach me, and I can teach you and we can also learn from each other. I think learning would be so much more fun and creative. Holding a perspective on life and learning as gifts that involve mutual teaching and self-discovery is enriching. Viewing learning as a collaborative and creative process where everyone has something valuable to contribute can make it more enjoyable and meaningful. As you move through life with this attitude you can foster a culture of sharing knowledge, learning from diverse perspectives, and embracing curiosity and exploration.

By approaching life with a mindset focused on positivity, collaboration, and growth, you can indeed experience more fun, lightness, and delight. Fear diminishes as you become more open to taking risks and stepping out of your comfort zone. This openness and optimism can lead to exponential personal and collective growth so you can constantly learn, evolve, and inspire yourself and others along the way.

Using the difficulty 2

 So, the next time you're faced with a challenge or a difficulty, remember to use the difficulty with these simple ideas to turn the challenge into a positive.

Don't Resent the Crisis:

If you've lost your job, use the crisis to reevaluate your career path and explore new opportunities.

If you're facing a health crisis, use the time to focus on self-care and prioritize your well-being.

If you're going through a breakup or divorce, use the situation to reflect on what you want in a future partner and relationship.

Use Your Assets:

If you're struggling to make ends meet, reach out to friends, family, or community resources for support.

If you're feeling stuck in your career, seek out a mentor or coach who can offer guidance and advice.

If you're feeling overwhelmed with responsibilities, delegate tasks to trusted colleagues or hire outside help.

Move Yourself Forward Each Day:

If you're feeling unmotivated, break your goals down into smaller, manageable tasks.

If you're feeling burnt out, take breaks throughout the day to recharge.

If you're feeling uncertain, make a list of your accomplishments and remind yourself of your strengths.

Celebrate Any Victory:

If you've completed a project or task, take time to acknowledge and celebrate your success.

If you've made progress toward a goal, reward yourself with something that brings you joy.

If you've overcome a challenge, acknowledge your resilience and determination.

Don't Become Anxious About the Life in Front of You:

If you're feeling anxious about the future, practice mindfulness or meditation to stay present.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by uncertainty, focus on what you can control in the present moment.

If you're feeling worried about the unknown, remind yourself of past challenges you've overcome.

Take Small Steps to Reinvent Yourself:

If you're feeling unfulfilled in your current career, explore new industries or job opportunities.

If you're feeling disconnected from your passions, try new hobbies or activities.

If you're feeling stagnant in your personal growth, seek out new learning opportunities or mentorship.

Identify the Minimum Amount of Income You Can Live On:

If you're facing financial uncertainty, create a budget and identify areas where you can cut back on expenses.

If you're struggling to make ends meet, explore alternative sources of income or ways to increase your earning potential.

If you're feeling uncertain about your financial future, seek out financial advice or resources.

Example of using the difficulty:

A few years ago, I was laid off from my job due to company downsizing. At first, I was devastated and unsure of what to do next. But instead of getting stuck in self-pity or resentment, I used the crisis as an opportunity to reevaluate my career path and explore new opportunities.

I reached out to my network of contacts and asked for advice and connections. I also explored previously out-of-reach options, such as freelancing or starting my own business.

Each day, I took small steps to move myself forward, such as updating my resume, networking, and applying for jobs. I also celebrated any victories, no matter how small, such as getting a job interview or making a new connection.

Through this process, I was able to reinvent myself and eventually land a job that was even better suited to my skills and passions. By using the difficulty, I was able to turn a challenging situation into an opportunity for growth and success. 

In conclusion, using difficulty is a powerful approach to facing difficult situations. By asking yourself these five questions, and following the steps outlined, you can reframe your mindset, find the good, and act. So, the next time you're faced with a challenge, remember to use the difficulty and turn it into an opportunity