Patterns of communications

 

Play Patterns
Men Ritual opposition Creates hierarchy. Games have winner/loser -. Status conscious Low competency is painful. Centered around doing rules important. Conflict an important participant of play	Women Ritual connection Creates cooperative relationships. Best friends tell secrets. Relationship conscious Being an outcast is painful. Centered around talking. Rules not important Open conflict feared
Uses of Language
Men Challenge Defect control attempts. Take center stage. Who is up/down? Am I being pushed around?	Women Cement relationships Keep others from pushing isolating. Promote harmony. Are we close or distant? Am I being cast out?
Characteristics of Talking
Men Goal oriented Thinks in head. Comfortable giving own credentials. Volunteers’ ideas. Nodding means "Yes I agree" Comfortable with open challenge Not likely to ask opinions of others. Important to be respected	Women Shows involvement, caring. Thinks out loud. Uncomfortable giving own credentials. Waits to be asked for ideas. Nodding means "Yes, I understand" Not comfortable with open challenge Likely to ask opinions of others. Important to be liked
Most men will emphasize the ways they are more skilled then others. Most women will emphasis the ways they are the same

More ideas on effective communications

 Adaptive Communication

Effective communication involves adapting your style to your audience, whether it's a child, a newcomer, a senior, or a boss. Gender differences can add another layer of complexity. Understanding these differences can enhance mutual understanding and benefit.

Tips for Enhancing Cross-Gender Communication

For Men:

• Frame ideas as suggestions with background information.
• Acknowledge others' ideas and contributions.
• Avoid jostling or teasing humor, and invite others’ opinions.
• When a woman is under stress, listen without interrupting.
• Use paraphrasing, reflect feelings, and don’t try to solve the problem immediately.
• In informal conversations, include personal content like family, health, or activities.

For Women:

• Share ideas without waiting for an invitation.
• Make statements rather than suggestions or questions.
• Be concise and stay on track.
• Take up more physical space.
• Reduce the use of superlatives, apologies, and qualifiers.
• Volunteer relevant credentials.
• Ask directly for what you want.
• In informal conversations, include topics like sports, politics, money, or jobs.

Adapting your communication style to consider gender differences can lead to more effective and harmonious interactions. Practice and commitment to these adjustments can greatly enhance understanding and collaboration in today’s diverse world.

Communication between men and women may be a challenge

If you’ve ever felt that communicating with the opposite gender is like talking to someone from another world, you’re not alone! Gender can influence communication in many contexts, from casual conversations to workplace decision-making. Men and women often have different values regarding friendship, conflict, humor, and stress.

However, it’s important to remember that individuals are more than just their gender. Not all traits are gender-specific, and a wide range of behaviors are acceptable regardless of gender. Still, general patterns can often be observed. Here is a brief overview of some common communication patterns.

Team Selection: Men often choose team members based on skills, while women may prioritize relationships and friendships.

Conversation Style: Women typically talk to build rapport, whereas men often talk to exchange information.

Friendship Values

Women:

Value intimate connections through talking, listening, and support.

Prefer being heard without interruptions when upset, often talking through issues aloud.

Men:

Value friendships involving tasks or activities, sometimes with a competitive edge.

Less likely to share personal issues and often prefer space or privacy when upset.

Asking Questions

Women:

Use questions to facilitate conversation, include others, and draw out quieter individuals.

May view men’s questioning as aggressive or negative.

Men:

Use questions to test ideas and explore options.

May view women’s questioning as a sign of uncertainty or indecisiveness.

Making Statements

Women:

Frame desires or preferences as suggestions, providing background information.

Prefer a soft approach.

Men:

Make direct statements, expecting challenges and comfortable with straightforward communication.

Often do not ask for others' ideas, expecting input to be volunteered.

Decision-Making

Women:

Tend to be holistic, seeing the bigger picture and considering everyone's feelings.

Comfortable with extensive discussion.

Men:

Tend to be logical, sequential, and focused on completing tasks efficiently.

Prefer brief and direct communication.

With a little help from my friends

 Why is it Important to Have Friends?

Friends play a key role in a happy and fulfilling life. They provide emotional support, reduce feelings of loneliness, and contribute to a sense of belonging. Having friends can also lead to a healthier lifestyle, as social interactions encourage activities and engagement that are beneficial for mental and physical well-being. For seniors, maintaining friendships is crucial for combating social isolation and fostering community and connection.

Why is it Hard to Meet New Friends?

As we age, several challenges can make it difficult to meet new friends:

Retirement, limited mobility, and the cessation of regular social activities can reduce opportunities for social interactions.

Relocation, the death of a spouse, or the loss of friends can shrink social circles, making seniors feel isolated.

Physical or cognitive health problems can hinder participation in social events, reducing chances of meeting new people.

Difficulty with technology can prevent seniors from connecting online, where many social interactions now occur.

Ageism and negative stereotypes about aging can make seniors feel undervalued in social settings, discouraging them from seeking new friendships.

The fear of not fitting in or being rejected can deter seniors from initiating new social connections.

Life changes such as retirement or health issues can impact self-esteem, making it harder to reach out and sustain new friendships.

Overcoming Challenges to Make New Friends

Addressing these challenges involves creating accessible social opportunities, providing support for seniors, challenging ageist attitudes, and fostering an inclusive environment. Here are some strategies to help make new friends:

Identify hobbies or interests and join clubs, classes, or groups that you are interested in, these activities will bring together people who have a common interest. Activities like book clubs, volunteer groups, fitness classes, and workshops are great for meeting people with similar interests.

Work colleagues, neighbours, fellow pet owners, and grandparents of grandchildren's classmates are potential friends who already have something in common with you. Find a connection with them through your shared experiences:

One of the best ways to make friends is through existing friends. Use your current relationships to expand your social circle. Don’t be shy to leverage your existing relationships. Friends of friends have common interests and values.

For group gatherings, pick a day that works for most people instead of delaying finding a perfect date. Remember there is no perfect date or time, while you are trying to find that perfect time, life slips on.

Even brief interactions like a quick coffee date or a casual text can help maintain and grow friendships. It is the connection that is important not the length of the engagement.

Reaching out to old friends you've lost touch with and reviving old friendships or reconnecting with dormant friends is a challenge, but it is worth doing. They may be feeling the same hesitation, so a simple message to reconnect can revive the friendship.

Engage with current media like popular shows, books, or podcasts. This provides easy conversation starters and helps you join in general social discussions. I have noticed that many young people spend time talking about the latest Netflix or Amazon streaming shows they are watching.

Contrary to the belief that talking less makes you more likable, research suggests that engaging more in conversations makes you appear more interesting and likable. One way to do this is to ask questions about the other person. Everyone has a story to tell and they are just waiting for someone to ask them.

Maintaining Friendships

Once you've established new friendships, it's essential to maintain them:

Keep in touch regularly, even if it's through brief messages or calls.

Schedule regular meetups or activities to ensure continued interaction.

Show interest in your friends' lives and offer support when needed.

Building and maintaining friendships as a senior requires effort and persistence, but the rewards are invaluable.