THE FOUR PILLARS OF MODERN RETIREMENT

A study by Age Wave and Edward Jones reveals that more than ever before, retirement is not merely a destination or an endpoint. It begins a new journey with twists, turns, possibilities, and questions. This study highlights our remarkable resilience in facing life’s challenges.

We are one of the fastest-growing population groups in Canada. In my province, it is estimated that around a quarter of us will be over 65 by 2036, and the oldest baby boomers will be 90 years old. We are living longer, and within the next decade, more people will be 65 and older than at any other time in our history.

Ageing today is vastly different than in the past due to advances in health and medicine, which result in a better quality of life and increased life expectancy. Most of us remain in relatively good health and will not need long-term care or develop dementia. However, the impacts of aging vary widely because we are a diverse group, each shaped by unique life experiences, needs, culture, health, language, and abilities.

At some point in our lives, we will all face the inevitable changes that come with ageing—whether caring for an ailing spouse or parent, helping a senior at home, or figuring out how to support a senior while managing our own family and work. Our greatest challenge and opportunity is to ensure our health, social, and financial support systems meet the needs and demands of not only our ageing population but all British Columbians as they age.

We overwhelmingly want to remain living independently in our own homes for as long as possible. The term "ageing in place" refers to having the health and social support needed to live safely and independently at home as we grow older. But how does society help seniors remain independent at home? Are we experiencing difficulties and barriers in getting the help we need? While the goal of aging in place is to support a higher quality of life, there are major obstacles, such as fragmentation between the healthcare and social support systems, that make it difficult for many of us to get the care and services we depend on. Many of us are also subjected to negative attitudes and beliefs about older people, including age discrimination and social exclusion, which assume that we are incapable of making our own decisions. While the COVID-19 pandemic and the rising cost of living have significantly impacted services for seniors, we must focus on closing the gaps to ensure all of us, regardless of where we live in the province, receive equitable support in our own communities.

For some, retirement is becoming an exciting and fulfilling stage of life full of new choices, freedoms, and challenges. While some see retirement as a time for rest and relaxation, the majority view it as a whole new chapter of life. Retirees have freedom from many work and family responsibilities, and the freedom to explore new options and pursue new interests.

With the experience and perspective that come with age, we are eager to explore and reinvent ourselves by trying new things, forming new relationships, discovering new purposes, and even becoming better versions of ourselves. Nine in ten of us agree that you’re never too old to achieve your dreams. For most, the new retirement is also a time of happiness and contentment. Although these qualities tend to dip in middle age, they rise to new peaks as we age.

Importantly, the new retirement no longer means the end of work but rather having greater freedom to choose whether and how much one wants to work. More of us are working on our own terms, often with renewed purpose. One-third of those planning to retire are interested in working in some capacity during retirement. Workers over the age 65 are significantly more likely to say they are working out of choice rather than necessity.

What makes today’s retirement "new"? Increasing longevity means more people are experiencing longer retirements, making this stage of life more significant than ever. Two-thirds of all the people who have ever lived past the age of 65 in the entire history of the world are alive today. As my cohort, the outsized Baby Boom generation moves into retirement (about half of Boomers are already retired), we are swelling the ranks and the economic, social, and political weight of retirees. However, it’s not just the massive size of the Boomer generation that is changing the face of retirement; it’s our attitudes and aspirations. Most have seen our grandparents and parents living relatively low-key retirements, and we want to be more active, engaged, exploratory, and purposeful in retirement. The study and report reveal the four key ingredients for living well in the new retirement. These ingredients are the four pillars: health, family, purpose and finances and we will examine them over the next few posts.

Patterns of communications

 

Play Patterns
Men Ritual opposition Creates hierarchy. Games have winner/loser -. Status conscious Low competency is painful. Centered around doing rules important. Conflict an important participant of play	Women Ritual connection Creates cooperative relationships. Best friends tell secrets. Relationship conscious Being an outcast is painful. Centered around talking. Rules not important Open conflict feared
Uses of Language
Men Challenge Defect control attempts. Take center stage. Who is up/down? Am I being pushed around?	Women Cement relationships Keep others from pushing isolating. Promote harmony. Are we close or distant? Am I being cast out?
Characteristics of Talking
Men Goal oriented Thinks in head. Comfortable giving own credentials. Volunteers’ ideas. Nodding means "Yes I agree" Comfortable with open challenge Not likely to ask opinions of others. Important to be respected	Women Shows involvement, caring. Thinks out loud. Uncomfortable giving own credentials. Waits to be asked for ideas. Nodding means "Yes, I understand" Not comfortable with open challenge Likely to ask opinions of others. Important to be liked
Most men will emphasize the ways they are more skilled then others. Most women will emphasis the ways they are the same

More ideas on effective communications

 Adaptive Communication

Effective communication involves adapting your style to your audience, whether it's a child, a newcomer, a senior, or a boss. Gender differences can add another layer of complexity. Understanding these differences can enhance mutual understanding and benefit.

Tips for Enhancing Cross-Gender Communication

For Men:

• Frame ideas as suggestions with background information.
• Acknowledge others' ideas and contributions.
• Avoid jostling or teasing humor, and invite others’ opinions.
• When a woman is under stress, listen without interrupting.
• Use paraphrasing, reflect feelings, and don’t try to solve the problem immediately.
• In informal conversations, include personal content like family, health, or activities.

For Women:

• Share ideas without waiting for an invitation.
• Make statements rather than suggestions or questions.
• Be concise and stay on track.
• Take up more physical space.
• Reduce the use of superlatives, apologies, and qualifiers.
• Volunteer relevant credentials.
• Ask directly for what you want.
• In informal conversations, include topics like sports, politics, money, or jobs.

Adapting your communication style to consider gender differences can lead to more effective and harmonious interactions. Practice and commitment to these adjustments can greatly enhance understanding and collaboration in today’s diverse world.

Communication between men and women may be a challenge

If you’ve ever felt that communicating with the opposite gender is like talking to someone from another world, you’re not alone! Gender can influence communication in many contexts, from casual conversations to workplace decision-making. Men and women often have different values regarding friendship, conflict, humor, and stress.

However, it’s important to remember that individuals are more than just their gender. Not all traits are gender-specific, and a wide range of behaviors are acceptable regardless of gender. Still, general patterns can often be observed. Here is a brief overview of some common communication patterns.

Team Selection: Men often choose team members based on skills, while women may prioritize relationships and friendships.

Conversation Style: Women typically talk to build rapport, whereas men often talk to exchange information.

Friendship Values

Women:

Value intimate connections through talking, listening, and support.

Prefer being heard without interruptions when upset, often talking through issues aloud.

Men:

Value friendships involving tasks or activities, sometimes with a competitive edge.

Less likely to share personal issues and often prefer space or privacy when upset.

Asking Questions

Women:

Use questions to facilitate conversation, include others, and draw out quieter individuals.

May view men’s questioning as aggressive or negative.

Men:

Use questions to test ideas and explore options.

May view women’s questioning as a sign of uncertainty or indecisiveness.

Making Statements

Women:

Frame desires or preferences as suggestions, providing background information.

Prefer a soft approach.

Men:

Make direct statements, expecting challenges and comfortable with straightforward communication.

Often do not ask for others' ideas, expecting input to be volunteered.

Decision-Making

Women:

Tend to be holistic, seeing the bigger picture and considering everyone's feelings.

Comfortable with extensive discussion.

Men:

Tend to be logical, sequential, and focused on completing tasks efficiently.

Prefer brief and direct communication.