One of the most powerful gifts we can give the children in our lives, whether we’re parents, grandparents, or caring adults, is confidence. It helps them grow into secure, capable, and resilient individuals. But confidence doesn’t appear overnight, it’s built through the words we use and the messages we send every single day.
A Gentle Reminder: Words Leave Lasting Impressions
We’ve all had moments when we’ve spoken in frustration, tiredness, or worry. Life gets busy, and parenting isn’t easy. But even in those moments, the words we choose can either build a child up or quietly wear them down.
Children are incredibly perceptive. What may seem like a quick comment to us can echo in their minds long after the moment has passed. Words can help shape how they see themselves—and whether they feel valued and accepted.
Take a moment and ask yourself:
How did I speak to my child or grandchild today?
Were my words encouraging—or unintentionally discouraging?
Common Phrases That Can Hurt More Than We Realize
Here are a few everyday examples of phrases that may seem harmless at first but can have an emotional impact on a child’s self-esteem:
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“I don’t want to see your face right now, go to your room.”
A child may interpret this as being unwanted or unloved, even if that’s far from what we meant. -
“Why can’t you be more like your sister/brother?”
Comparisons can make children feel like they’re constantly falling short. Instead of motivating, it can leave them feeling inadequate or invisible. -
“That outfit looks too tight, don’t you have something better?”
For growing teens, these types of comments can trigger body image issues and feelings of shame about their appearance.
The Good News: Positive Words Build Strong Foundations
Just as negative words can wound, positive words can heal and empower. They don’t have to be complicated or poetic—just honest and kind. Words like:
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“I’m proud of you.”
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“You matter.”
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“You did your best—that’s what counts.”
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“I love spending time with you.”
These small affirmations make a big impact. They help children believe in themselves, trust others, and feel secure enough to try, fail, and try again.
A Challenge—and an Invitation
Starting today, take a moment to really notice the words you use with the children in your life. Speak with intention. Lead with kindness. And if you catch yourself saying something less than helpful, it’s okay, you can always follow up with a hug, a listening ear, or a better choice of words.
Together, let’s raise children who feel seen, heard, and deeply loved, one thoughtful conversation at a time.
What words did you need to hear as a child? Share your thoughts in the comments and let’s start a conversation about using language to lift up the next generation.