How to influence and persuade

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The Law of Increasing Returns.

A little known secret concerning life in the jungles of time and space is that however far you reach, you will go farther. However great your dreams, they will be grander. And however much you love, you will be loved much more.

We call it the Law of Increasing Returns. 

Retired husband syndrome

This stress condition is suffered by women the world over when their partners give up work. But now, news of RHS is reverberating around the world, after Italian researchers revealed that nearly half of women with newly retired husbands complain of increasing levels of stress, depression and sleeplessness

Many of my male friends may not have heard of this condition, which was identified in 1991 by Dr. Nobuo Kurokawa, a physician and leading Japanese expert. The symptoms include stomach ulcers, slurring of speech, rashes around the eyes, growths in the throat, palpitations, tension headaches and depression  as well as “agitation, gas, bloating, muscle aches, and other symptoms of stress. These symptoms were noted by Johnson, Charles Clifford, MD. in his article called The Retired Husband Syndrome, (Commentary). published in The Western Journal of Medicine. in 1984, Oct; 141, see pages 542-545.

We also know now that many assumptions about aging are inaccurate. Dr. Gary Cohen, in his new book, “The Mature Mind,” shows us that the brain does not stop growing after age three, as was thought to be the case. Instead, activity, both physical and intellectual, forces the creation of new brain cells and connections between cells. Nor are older people looking for ways to disengage from society, though remaining engaged may be more of a challenge than it was when they worked. Furthermore, the mature brain functions somewhat differently than the younger brain, becoming, for example, better able to access right and left brain simultaneously and more fully (Cohen). The mature brain benefits from developmental intelligence, which Cohen defines as the maturing of cognition, emotional intelligence, judgment, social skills, life experience, and consciousness and their integration and synergy (Cohen, 2005, p. 35). 

In addition, women and men age somewhat differently. Men become more inward; while women become more outward looking, ready to take on challenges on a broader plain. Men may for the first time in their lives, become interested in solving some of their personal psychological challenges, while women want to take on causes and contribute to more global change. There is some level of role reversal, or perhaps more accurately, role crossover. The unfinished business of each gender obviously differs as their previous roles led men and women to deal with different issues.

To help couples cope perhaps there could be pre-retirement classes that focus not only on the financial issues but which also deal with the social planning and planning for a new division of work at home would help people adjust to new expectations. 

Activities like learning a new language and cross-country skiing create brain cells and connections between cells, as well as ideas and experiences to share with a spouse, which improves retirement for both members of the couple. 

Nobody, it seems, likes the domestic balance being upset. We know that relationships are often put under pressure at transition times, such as retirement, because our identities are often closely linked with who we are at work, and we can find it difficult to adjust to a life outside the workplace. Equally, the dynamic at home changes when one or both partners retire, and couples can find themselves with far more time together than they had before.

While for some couples, this is a welcome change, it can often be difficult to adjust to having more concentrated periods together. It’s important for couples to be honest about the challenges that come with this transition and to work together to find solutions. This might include finding activities to do separately, as well as making plans for spending more quality time together. My male friends need to understand this and make sure they work with their  loved ones to make sure they do not cause undo stress.

Thinking of heading for a warmer climate, some tips to stay healthy

It’s hard to believe summer is coming up so quickly.  I hope everyone will be able to take advantage of the gorgeous weather by getting out and being active! Many of us will be heading to warmer climes for the Spring Holidays so we will have an early summer.

I’enjoy swimming, walking and getting out with my family and friends to enjoy BC. No matter where you go, hot weather and unusually busy schedules can create unexpected problems, however. With that in mind, I would like to share some tips for staying safe during those unusually hot spells we get from time to time - not only for seniors, but for their family and friends.

First and foremost, it’s important to check in at least twice a day with loved ones who may be at risk during hot weather. This includes seniors who live alone and have mobility or health issues. If their residence is hot, close the curtains or blinds – or, consider taking them to a mall, library or a friend’s house that has air conditioning.

If you aren't in a position to check in, I suggest getting in touch with an organization that helps seniors remain independent, such as the United Way through their ‘Better at Home’ program, if there is one your community. Better at Home assists seniors with day-to-day tasks and can include something as simple as a friendly visit. More information can be found by visiting: http://www.betterathome.ca/

UV rays can bring a few dangers as the sun is most intense between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. It’s best to limit exposure to direct sunlight during these hours. Remember that cooler temperatures do not lower UV values. Use sunscreen with UVA and UVB protection and a Sun Protection Factor (SPF) of 30 or higher. It may be best to do outside activities like gardening first thing in the morning, or in the evening.

Drink plenty of water and don’t wait until you are thirsty. I know it’s tempting to have a soda or an iced coffee, but the caffeine and sugar can actually cause you to lose more body fluid.

Dress appropriately. Many of us like to venture outside in shorts and a t-shirt, but it’s best to wear a hat and light-coloured, lightweight clothes that cover your arms, legs and the rest of your skin.

Know the signs of heat stroke. These include headache, flushed skin, nausea and disorientation. If you or someone close may be experiencing these symptoms, move to a shady, cool area right away to cool down and seek help immediately.

Many seniors use medications and some of them may increase your sensitivity to the sun. If you have any questions about your medications, check with your pharmacist or physician.

As we move into our early summer or as summer approaches, please keep these precautionary measures in mind so you can safely enjoy the blue skies before the season turns and cooler weather arrives!

On reviewing the federal Conservative government's Bill C-51....

Mary MacDonald,  a brave woman from Prince George wrote the following  a few days ago, and in her statement she says she is not alone, she is correct and there are many who stand with her, including me.

To save the government anti terrorist troops time I am adding my information to hers so that when the thought police come for us they will know where we stand. Thank you Mary  for your courage. I for one and with you and against harper and his fear campaign.

On reviewing the federal Conservative government's Bill C-51, their "anti-terrorism" law, I see there is a clause that this law is to protect Canada against activities that undermine the security of Canada, including "the interference with the Government of Canada in relation to the economic or financial stability of Canada." I am also aware of the related RCMP document entitled, "Criminal Threats to the Petroleum Industry" which refers to "the anti-Canadian petroleum movement" and refers to alliances by the "anti-petroleum movement" with "violent aboriginal extremists" in BC. I am concerned that this law by Stephen Harper and his government will allow you to conduct surveillance on me because of my ongoing opposition to projects such as Enbridge Northern Gateway oil/ condensate pipeline. To save the tax dollars involved in doing so, here is the relevant information about me:

1. I have never broken the law other than several speeding tickets as a much younger person;
2. I love northern BC's wilderness and see the rivers as the life lines of these lands. I don't want them criss-crossed by bitumen condensate pipelines;
3. I view the north coast of BC as a majestic natural jewel worth protecting from massive oil tankers travelling its narrow inlets;
4. I have much respect for the First Nations cultures and communities of northern BC and frankly have yet to meet any "violent aboriginal extremists" but rather, people who are profoundly connected with and care deeply for these lands and waters and thus, opposed to Enbridge Northern Gateway and other dangerous projects;
5. I don't agree with Harper and his government turning Canada into a petro-state and dismissing the need for urgent meaningful action on climate change;
6. I believe in the Canadian Constitution and the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, specifically the right to freedom of expression and assembly and will continue to exercise these rights;
7. I will stand on guard for thee, Canada, the Canada I love, of wilderness, fresh rivers and tolerance for diversity;
8. I am not alone.

For the government trolls who read my blog here is my information;

1. I have been involved in many many protest actions over the last 45 years, they have all been peaceful and most of them would be unlawful under the new terrorist Bill C51  I am happy that I grew up and lived in a Canada that allowed for dissent. 
2. So I can say that so far I have never broken any law for which I have been arrested or detained , However under the new anti-terror laws I would have been arrested or had my life disrupted or been held without trial or without legal council for any of the following acts  in which I participated. For the record, I have been involved in protesting against the War Measures Act, unfair labour laws, bad environment  practices and I have participated in wildcat strikes, and writing campaigns and signing petitions, and other acts that  were designed to change or influence the government of Canada, by protests which some at the time  were deemed unlawful by a stroke of a pen. These activities fit into the new act under the following provisions "changing or unduly influencing a government in Canada by force or unlawful means"; and "the interference with the Government of Canada in relation to the economic or financial stability of Canada."
3.  I too love BC, its wilderness, its mountains, its beauty I also love the waterways of BC and the abundance of natural beauty and natural resources that will be under siege when the tankers come to our waters.
4. I have great respect for the First Nations of BC for their understanding of the importance of the land.  I also have great respect people of Muslim faith, or any other visible minority who may be targeted by the new anti-terrorist act and will fight with whatever means I have to protect their rights under our Charter.
5. Over the past six years, I have watched harper transform Canada from a land where people respected other cultures and religions to a land where neighbours are afraid of neighbours because of their religious belief or the clothes that they wear. 
6. I have watched and spoken out both in this blog and on other social media while harper continued attacking our Charter of Rights and Freedoms to get Canadians to believe that his social values should be our values.
7. Over the last year five years  I have watched as our economy tumbles and Canadians fed lies by the mainstream media, are being told they are better off then they were five years ago, but people know and they feel they are worse off then five years ago that is why they are afraid for their future. 
8. The government rather than address the economic issues caused by our dependence on oil, has chosen to distract us by scaring us and offering to protect us.  In Canada we do need protection but we need protection from our government. 
9. My training is as an Economist and I find that harpers claim to be an economist shows me how far the profession has fallen.
10. In 1972 I opposed the imposition of the War Measures Act and took to the streets along with hundreds of others who did not want to live under Marshall law. History proved us right, the government overreached, but this new bill is worse. 
11. For the record, I will continue to advocate for a Canada that is respectful and tolerant of all who live here. I like Mary, believe in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, including the freedom or religion and the right to freedom of expression and assembly and like her I will continue to exercise these rights and protest against those that would take these rights away.
12. I will continue to  advocate and protest and make fun of those government policies that, in my mind, will destroy the Canada I have grown to love.
13. I like Mary, know that I am not alone but my fear is that we are part of a growing minority.