How many of you believe in telekinesis?

Ten one-liners along with some other attempts to make you laugh. Enjoy

 1.    It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere

2.    42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

3.    A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

4.    Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot.

5.    A day without sunshine is like, night.

6.    99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name

7.     He who laughs last thinks slowest.

8.    Think about it: Honk if you love peace and quiet.

9.    When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk.".
10 I was in my garden last night and I swore I could hear an onion singing a Bee Gees song. Turns out it was just the chives talking.

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Two elderly vultures decided they would fly south this year for vacation, so they make reservations with an airline. They arrived at the airport, and the clerk looked at their luggage and asked if they wanted to check in as baggage the two dead raccoons they brought with them to snack on. "No," the vultures said. "They're carrion."

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Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those of us who were born prior to 1950.

Symptoms:

1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.

2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail.

3. Causes you to send an e-mail to the wrong person.

4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.

5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.

6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished.

7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND."

8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE."

IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS."

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A band director was standing outside on a metal ladder during a concert, when a thunderstorm broke out. Amazingly, he wasn't hit by lightning,  - it seems he just wasn't a very good conductor.

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Try this simple calculation to test your brain. Don't use a calculator.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it.

Now add another 1000.

Now add 30.

Now add another 1000.

Now add 20.

Now add another 1000.

Now add 10.

What is the total?

Did you get 5000? Most people do but that's incorrect.

Check with your calculator if you got 5000.

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For those of you who watch what you eat...Here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

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I went to the Doctor with an earache. He said there was a piece of lettuce in my ear. "Is that serious?" I asked him. "Serious?!? " he said, "this is just the tip of the iceberg."

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Finally, How many of you believe in telekinesis?      

Raise my hand.

Optimism may boost women's longevity

The following is partly taken from the MNT Knowledge Center on an article on Optimism and Women written by Honor Whiteman in December 2016. For the full article go here.

Is the glass half full or is it half empty? The answer to this question may not seem to be a matter of life or death, but for women, it could be. New research suggests women who have a positive outlook on life are less likely to die prematurely than those who are less optimistic. A number of studies  have suggested that people who are optimistic tend to have better mental and physical health than those who are pessimistic

As it is commonly understood, the term ‘optimism’ embraces two closely correlated concepts: the first is the inclination to hope, while the second more generally refers to the tendency to believe that we live in “the best of all possible worlds”, as coined by the German philosopher Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz in his famous theodicy, ridiculed in Voltaire’s Candide.

Optimism is a tendency to expect good things in the future. From the literature, it is apparent that optimism is a mental attitude that heavily influences physical and mental health, as well as coping with everyday social and working life. Through an adaptive management of personal goals and development and by using active coping tactics, optimists are significantly more successful than pessimists in aversive events and when important life-goals are impaired.

To reach their findings, the researchers analysed 2004-2012 data from around 70,000 women who were part of the Nurses' Health Study - an ongoing project that assesses women's health through surveys conducted every 2 years.

Kim and colleagues looked at the self-reported optimism of each participant, as well as other factors that might contribute to mortality risks, such as high blood pressure, diet, and exercise.

Compared with women in the lowest quartile of optimism, those in the highest quartile of optimism were found to be nearly 30 percent less likely to die from all causes.

Looking at individual illnesses, the researchers found that women who were the most optimistic were 16 percent less likely to die from cancer, 38 percent less likely to die from heart disease, and 39 percent less likely to die from stroke, compared with women who were the least optimistic.

Additionally, women in the top quartile of optimism were at 38 percent lower risk of death from respiratory disease and were 52 percent less likely to die from infection, compared with those in the bottom quartile.

The researchers note that previous studies have linked optimism to reduced risk of cardiovascular death, but theirs is the first to associate the mental attitude with reduced mortality from other major illnesses.

When accounting for healthy behaviours among participants, the team found that these could only partly explain the association between optimism and reduced mortality. With this in mind, Kim suggests it is possible that optimism may have a direct influence on our biological systems

Retirement options, you have to plan

After my own retirement as a teacher and a university professor at age 61—now 10 years ago—I decided that one of my projects would be to study my new phase of life. I wanted to understand more clearly what I was experiencing and then share this understanding with others in the by writing this blog. Some insights emerged that helped me adjust to this new life—and that I hope will help you.

1. Expect Several Evolutions

Sociologist Phyllis Moen draws a parallel between planning for a wedding and planning for retirement in her work Retirement Transitions, Gender, and Psychological  Well-Being:  A Life-Course, Ecological Model (pdf file). Young people plan their wedding but not life after the honeymoon. Seniors plan for our retirement as a date we leave work, but we don’t plan or think the years after we retire.

These transitions may actually take along time and could range from six months, a year, or even five years. These transitions are not easy, they are confusing and disrupting to our life. In retirement, this is the time that you begin to understand that you are no longer an important person that you were when you were in the structured world of work. The problem is you have not yet gotten into a new life without work.

Time is an important here, because over time you become used to your new life and the changes becomes integrated as you move toward your new role, relationships, routines, and assumptions about yourself and the world.

 Just like when you were younger, it will take courage, time and the understanding you will make mistakes, to find the right combination of activities for yourself. Understanding that moving toward retirement is not just planning a day to leave, but means planning to begin an new adventure can be one of the first steps in alleviate the confusing feelings that accompany big changes.

2. Make Sure You're Well Grounded

Being well grounded is not only about your finances, it is about you and your well being, emotionally. As a person, I have my own identity, I have my relationships and I have a purpose in life. We all have these three issues that we have to deal with as we retire. So, you will need to be emotionally and mentally grounded for your next steps.

Jung talks about the tasks of ageing, three of which are important to help you become well grounded and ready for the next phase of your life. The tasks which are important are:

·       Finding a New Rooting in the Self

·       Life Review

·       Determining the Meaning of One’s Life.

As you retire or face retirement, examining your identity, your relationships and purpose can keep you grounded and start you on the tasks of ageing.

·         Identity: You no longer are the very important person your job title gave you. It is time to realize that you are more than a job title, you have skills, attitudes and relationships that define you in a more powerful way. Over time as you develop new roles, relationships, and routines, your new identity will solidify.

·         Relationships: At work, we have many work acquaintances and we may think of these people as friends, but they are merely ships passing in the night for most of us. We are social beings and we need to replace our work relationships but this can take time and requires effort. Readjusting family relationships, especially adjusting to spending more time with your spouse or partner, can also be challenging.

·         Purpose: We need a reason to get up in the morning, the sooner you realize this the happier your retirement will become. Now that you are retired, you may need someone to help you figure out your mission.

Try volunteering, after retirement, one way to replace the lost social capital is to volunteer or to work part-time. I did and many of my new friends are centered around volunteer activities.

3. Determine the Type of Retirement You Want

As you start this adventure there are many paths that you can follow. Here are some that you may want to follow.

• Conservationist This is a path where you conserve and even build the skills you have already gained. You use your skills while you modify when you use them, but you do not change your path For instance, a retired teacher occasionally teaches classes or gives workshops.
• Speculator Retirement is full of opportunities to take advantage of life, to pursue an unrealized dream or try something new
• Relaxation Specialist Retirement is a time to relax, and take each day as it comes.
• Hangers on These people still care deeply about their previous work and receive satisfaction from following developments in their field.
• Volunteer Junkies These retirees are looking for their place. I am one, I have retired, but I am still looking for the next adventure the next new path. When I am done with that path, I start to look for then next volunteer activity
• Disengager These people have not planned for retirement life, they become depressed and often become couch potatoes. The lucky ones get through this phase quickly and use the time to figure out what's next

4. Dream a Little—or Dream Big

We all know the phrase "What do you want to do when you grow up?" This question looms large as one approaches retirement. If you are considering a complete reinvention, you'll need to consider if your dream is practical and if it is affordable. But this is your chance to think about what you have always wanted to do to create a life after retirement that is rich and rewarding.

One man I spoke with at one of my workshops, who had worked on a research project told me he was depressed when he lost his job at age 60. He and his wife had many discussions about whether her work could help support them during his adjustment. After much discussion she and he decided that he would change his life path, and he expanded his hobby as a cabinet maker and became a finishing carpenter doing contract work

The transition ended happily. The man found he enjoyed his new work in carpentry, even though it came with much less money and prestige. His wife became proud of him for following his dream.

Insomnia

The following is extracted from https://www.painscience.com/articles/insomnia.php for the full article (it is very long) click on the link.

I have tried to put the main points of the article below

Some insomnia is caused by sleep disorders such as Delayed sleep phase syndrome (DSPS) or sleep apnea. Or sleep loss may be caused by the pain of another medical condition, such as rheumatoid arthritis. But most insomnia is basically just a bad habit — a learned behaviour, which is usually aggravated into a crisis by emotional stresses.

Here in Vancouver, University of British Columbia psychologist Stanley Coren describes sleep deprivation studies in humans showing a number of ominous effects, and his book Sleep Thieves: An eye-opening exploration into the science and mysteries of sleep generally comes to the conclusion that everyone needs to take sleep deprivation much more seriously than we generally do.

Here are several examples:

•    Insomnia hurts. An internet survey of over 2,500 people with fibromyalgia (a chronic pain condition) showed that insomnia was one of the most commonly identified aggravating factors. There is good reason to believe that what makes fibromyalgics hurt probably predisposes healthier people in the direction of increased sensitivity as well. Another survey found the fairly spectacular statistic that 53% of chronic low back pain patients had insomnia, compared with only 3% in pain-free controls.

•     Insomnia saps your migraine defenses. A study of 1869 migraines clearly showed that “sleep obviously protects against [migraine] attacks rather than provokes them,” while a whopping 29% were actually caused by insomnia. I don’t know about you, but anything that protects against migraine attacks is good and I don’t want to lose much of it.

•    Insomnia makes you sick. It is strongly linked to metabolic syndrome (the term for a stew of factors associated with obesity, poor fitness, diabetes, and heart disease). A statistical analysis of insomnia’s relationship to absences from work caused by illness clearly found that there’s a connection: insomnia is followed by periods of increased absenteeism from illness and disease. Yikes! As if that weren’t bad enough: the evidence shows that the effect is prominent up to two years after insomnia. Shudder. And still more: a 2009 paper shows that people with even minor sleep problems (less than 7 hours per night) get almost three times as many head colds.

•    Insomnia can wreck your mood. 40% of psychiatric mood disorders are preceded by insomnia, and insomnia sets in at the same time as another 20% of mood disorders.

This is just a sampling. For a complete discussion of how insomnia probably increases body pain of all kinds (and muscle pain in particular), see Insomnia Until it Hurts.

The cure for insomnia was ultimately simple, and consisted of a simple 2-point plan:

•         Sleep environment upgrading

•         Behavioural conditioning

Everyone’s circumstances are different, and the solutions will be unique, but stop at nothing to make your bedroom as sleep-friendly as humanly possible.

Buy the best mattress money can buy, get a deluxe pillow, and 900 thread count sheets. Fix the leaky tap. If your partner snores, get rid of them: separate bedrooms, etc.

Sleep is a complex human behaviour, and insomnia is a dysfunctional sleep behaviour — sleep behaviour that results in sleep that is at odds with what we want, usually not enough of it and at the wrong times. Either we start sleeping at the wrong time, and/or we can’t continue sleeping as long as we’d like, and/or we can’t sleep as deeply as we need to.

The sum of our sleep behaviours is called our “sleep hygiene.” Insomniacs usually have lousy sleep hygiene.

Most insomniacs, when they have trouble falling sleep, get frustrated, get up, and do something. This is dangerous. Depending on the activity, this is a message to your brain. The message is, “1:00 AM is for checking my email. Reading a book. Watching a bit of boring telly. Having a snack.” Your ancestors didn’t have those options. Through most of our biological history, they literally couldn’t even put on a light!

It’s this simple: whatever you repeatedly do at 1:00 AM, that is exactly what your brain will think 1:00 AM is about! You are teaching your nervous system not to sleep, and like the miraculously adaptable thing that it is … it learns.

To have any hope of sleeping through the night, you have to have a consistent bedtime and a consistent waking time.

Training for recovery from behavioural insomnia is usually most easily cured by restricting sleep to an inadequate, fixed period each night, and then gradually increasing it. It’ll be unpleasant at first … but you’ve got nothing to lose.

By compressing your Total Time In Bed into just a few hours, the message to the body is "this is all you're getting, so make the best of it."

Instructions:

1.       Start with a 6-hour period, give or take: less than you need, but more than you are getting.

2.       Set the waking time you want to stick with. Count six hours backwards from that time to get your new bedtime. i.e. if you want to get up at 7:00am for the rest of your life, your new training bedtime is 1:00am.

3.       Start this on a weekend or when you have a day or even a week off from work. You don’t want to operate heavy machinery, or make important decisions, when you’re starting this process! You will almost certainly lose even more sleep than usual. You’ll lose sleep during your sleep period and have no opportunity to recover … until the next night.

4.       Do not nap at all or strictly limit napping. This is a significant challenge in itself. Do whatever you have to do. For the serious insomniac, a lot is at stake. All I can tell you is that it’s worth it.

5.       Repeat for 3-14 days. Decide in advance how long to try the strategy, and stick to it. Basically, the worse your insomnia, the longer you need to really reinforce the “idea” that you’ve only got a few hours to sleep each night.

6.       At the end of the first phase, move your training bedtime 15-30 minutes earlier, and repeat for another 3-14 days. Increase your sleep in smaller increments for difficult cases.

7.       The sleep “pressure” will accumulate enough so that you can hardly imagine not sleeping in the time available.

Ritual is particularly important for insomniacs who have trouble falling asleep. Spend some time and create a carefully planned and scheduled bedtime ritual of at least half an hour to repeat every night until you are cured, and frequently for the rest of your life.

The purpose of the ritual is to (a) wind down, and (b) learn to associate your bedtime with a series of predictable steps. It actually makes a difference whether you wash your face and then brush your teeth, or brush your teeth and then wash your face — it doesn’t matter which order you do it in, but it does matter that you always do it in the same order. The more consistent the ritual, the more quickly your brain can learn that face washing followed by teeth brushing equals bedtime.

Some improvements in sleep hygiene combined with sleep compression therapy alone will resolve behavioural insomnia for most people within 4-6 weeks.

I would recommend you read the entire article as there is a much useful information especially if you are an insomniac.