Some Groooaannnnerrrs for fun

Groooaannnnerrr..........

 One day at the watering hole, an elephant looked around and carefully surveyed the turtles in view. After a few seconds thought, he walked over to one turtle, raised his foot, and kicked the turtle as far as he could. A watching hyena asked the elephant why he did it. "Well, about 30 years ago I was walking through a stream and a turtle bit my foot. Finally, I found the S.O.B and repaid him for what he had done to me." "30 years!!! And you remembered...But how???"

"I have turtle recall."

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older ... then it dawned on me ... they were cramming for

their finals.

Oldie, but still funny..........

From the Sydney Morning Herald Australia comes this story of a central west couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car there in the lot. 

The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.

Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts and tucked everything back into place.  On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

My aunt's beloved cat Ginger had grown seriously overweight, so she decided to take him to the vet to find out if there was anything wrong with him - and more to the point, whether anything could be done about it. So she put him into the kit- ty-carry box, and drove to the surgery. The doc prescribed a course of pills, and my aunt left, happy in the knowledge that Ginger would soon be his slim old self again. But after a few weeks of taking the pills, there was no change: Ginger was as fat as ever. Soon months had gone by, and still there was no difference. In fact, if anything, it was getting worse. The other problem was the invoices from the vet - these pills were costing a fortune. It soon became clear to us all that Ginger had become a doc-billed fatty-puss.  :o)

Family Stories

The merging of two families through marriage is never easy, as each side wants to put on a good face to the other. The bride and groom may at times be aware of the tensions, and over time there is acceptance of the families to the new circumstances. But at the beginning, there are challenges as each side gets to know each other. 

At my Nephews wedding, my brother was talking to the new-in-laws and the bride's father was asking about our family and our history. Earlier the bride's father had been talking about his history, where he had grown up and some of the events that happened to him as he was growing up, and possibly bragging a bit. My brother not to be outdone shared some family stories about the elementary school we had gone to and some of the things we had done while we were young. Most of the events were positive but one was not, but the end result was positive.  My brother told this story about when he was in grade 5 and I was in grade 6

We like many lived and grew up in a tough community, the claim to fame of the generation that was a few years older than us was how long they had been in jail for ane what crime they had committed. By the time we had moved into the community, this claim to fame was not seen by the people of my age as a badge of honour, so the times they were a-changing. 

We were the new kids in our community and it was a closed community which meant that the hierarchy of power had been long established at the school. Power was shifted by the only means known to us as children at the time, which was physical prowess and battle.  As the oldest, I was faced with the task of finding our position in the hierarchy. So by the end of the first year, I and my brothers were settled in and had found our level of acceptance which was near the top of the hierarchy. 

A year later, new family moved in and the power struggle erupted again, except this time the new kid was a bully and he took it upon himself to beat up the younger children but he liked to fight anyone, kids younger than him, guys older or the same age as him. He won some and lost many, but he continued to fight and there was no resolution. 

In the early and late fifties, parents were not involved with children as much as they are today, so as children we were left to figure it out and to solve the problem. So as the fighting became more fierce and the bully ended up in the hospital. After he ended up in the hospital, I decided to befriend him as I thought if we continue to fight someone will be more badly hurt. 

I started inviting him to our house after school and talking to him and listening and he responded. I am not sure if it was because in our physical confrontations we were about equal or because he needed a friend. My brothers telling the story said that he was (at the time) really upset with me but I was stubborn, the oldest and that meant I got my way. I continued to invite him to our house and slowly the bully changed and a balance was restored in our school community. The bully and his family moved away about six months later and I saw him again when I was in high school and we were still friendly. 

So after telling this story to the bride's father, I could see him shaking his head and wondering what kind of family did his daughter marry into, but after sharing some more positive aspects of our family I think he relaxed.

What is preventing you from retirement planning?

Over two years ago three actuarial associations (the American Academy of Actuaries, Australian Actuaries Institute, and the Institute and Faculty of Actuaries in the United Kingdom) determined that the trend away from defined benefit pensions and toward defined contribution plans was going to be a major problem.  In 2017 they released a follow-up study that shows the extent of the problem

All three countries have made efforts recently to improve retirement policies; however, the survey would suggest that progress to date in changing expectations and preparations has been modest at best.

In all three countries, inertia and procrastination—broadly characteristic of most people’s decision-making—seem to lead to similar results across all three countries.

People in the United States, United Kingdom and Australia are struggling to prepare for retirement because of increasing demands on them to manage their own risks. This inability to manage the risk of planning for retirement has resulted in many planning not to retire at all, most planning to retire gradually rather than fully, many planning to retire at older ages, and relatively few expecting a comfortable lifestyle in retirement

This could be seen as an adaptation to the risk transfers associated with movement from defined benefit to defined contribution plan coverage.

When asked what they would do if the value of their assets decreased people said they were prepared to save more, acquire more information, and if that fails they plan to return to work. The Actuaries think that a return to work is unrealistic if age or health prevent such a return when needed

When asked about retirement many did not know how much they will need when they retire, how long their money will last. People were also not prepared or had even thought about the risks associated with longevity, chronic ill health, or being forced to stop work unexpectedly early.

From the survey the Actuaries found that the relatively low percentages of middle-aged (for purposes of this survey, ages 34-54) and middle-income (for purposes of this survey, above the bottom 40% and below the top 20%) respondents in all three countries who are prepared to retire or for the risks of retirement were particularly noteworthy.

How can these countries prepare people to understand retirement from a policy position? According to the Actuaries there are a three-prong approach is needed

1.    Financial education: The results clearly indicate a need for more education related to financial literacy and retirement planning. While the results suggest a broad need, the results also suggest the possibility of particularly targeted (and potentially differently designed) educational approaches based on age, gender, and income in all three countries. The education required should aim to establish a comprehensive understanding of the relationships linking accumulated retirement funds, a retirement-age goal, and the risks associated with making retirement assets last a lifetime. Given the widespread lack of knowledge of the level of assets that will be accumulated at retirement and the similar lack of knowledge of how long savings will last in retirement, development of robust and accessible projection tools might serve an important purpose in financial education.

2.    Default options: The results clearly indicate widespread lack of preparation, even when information is sought and some savings are reported. Understanding and managing retirement risks can be extremely complex, and adequate preparation may challenge the ability of many, regardless of the amount of education provided. Incorporating default enrollment into private plans, and making the defaults as appropriate as possible to the situation of the broad majority, would help compensate for the limited attention that most people give to planning for the future. Limited preparation for longevity risk amplifies the need to consider default options that emphasize lifetime income rather than lump-sum distributions during retirement. The very low preparation rates among the youngest respondents, while not surprising, suggest the importance of automatic enrollment in retirement savings programs at the earliest stages of people’s working lives.

3.    Public pension adequacy and sustainability: While public pensions (the Age Pension in Australia, the State Pension in the United Kingdom, and Social Security in the United States) are generally not designed to be the sole source of retirement income, they are certainly an essential part of the retirement package for a majority of citizens. Making sure that those pensions are sustainable and capable of providing adequate retirement income, at least for those who depend on it most, remains of continuing importance. That large percentage of the population at younger and middle ages do not cite government as a source of retirement income may reflect concerns about the sustainability of these programs.

The survey was published Thursday October 12 by the American Academy of Actuaries, the Institute and Faculty of Actuaries and the Actuaries Institute of Australia. For the full survey go here (pdf file)

Family history is it important to you?

A post on A Satisfying Retirement led me to my thoughts, on this issue. In his post, Bob Lowry (The blog's author) asked, What about you? Are you interested in all the twists and turns of your family's past? Do you have old documents that trace your ancestors back to some historical event? Or, like me, do you prefer to let sleeping dogs lie. You aren't particularly motivated to learn about all that?

Bob also posted a link to a site which asked and answered the question Whys is Genealogy important? The short answer according to Bob is  ... some of the reasons include validating family stories, tracing medical conditions or land ownership, finding birth parents and any links to famous people or historical events.

To answer Bob's question I have not been particularly motivated to learn about my history but events and times change. For me, it was a Facebook message that moved me to take some more action.

On my mother's side, I received a message on messenger from a cousin who was exploring his genealogy and had some questions, which I answered. He had been in touch with an elderly cousin who had completed a family tree for our grandmother and wanted more information about our grandfathers family, so I undertook to gather all the information from my brothers about their families and am just about complete in that task. I hope to send it off to my cousin and receive a copy of the updated family tree for my grandmother on my mom's side. All I know is that both my grandfather was born in a village (we don't know which one) in Romania and came to Canada when he was 14. My grandmother was born in1898 in Ciucurova, Dobrogea Austria (now Romania). and moved to the US (North Dakota) with her family and came to Canada when she was 2 with her 11 brothers and sisters and settled into the town my grandfather had moved to from Romania.


When we went to our first family reunion on my father's side of the family back in the 1980's we learned that my grandmother's family had come from Ireland to Canada somewhere between 1840 and 1850, along with many other Irish settlers and the family had settled in Ontario. I was given the names of my great grandparents (Ramsey and McTeer) and learned that someone in the family had created a genealogy chart, which a cousin promised to send to me. I never received it and I forgot about it until recently. I also found out that my grandfather had come to Canada in the 1920's from the United States, somewhere around Michigan area to hide out for a while. We are not sure why he came to Canada, as he had a career as an Accountant, but when he came to Canada he became a farmer where he met my grandmother bought then lost his farm in the 30's, and became a tenant farmer and raised a family. I have over the years tried to find out more about my grandmother and grandfather on my Dad's side of the family but have had little luck.

Going through the family history is important and I hope to continue to find out more about what must have been some fascinating stories.