Finding the Source of Your Fear

I used to have an irrational fear of horses. Growing up I delivered papers along a river in the country and there was a number of horses that used the trail along the river. Every time the horses came through I became paralyzed and would not move for sometimes hours. I never understood my fear and when I went to University, the group I was in loved to go horseback riding for fun. I joined them a few times but my fear would overcome me and I would have to withdraw. I finally overcame my fear by following some of the steps I outline below. It was not easy but I did overcome my fear of horses.

Unless you get to the source of a problem, it is difficult to solve it. The same is the case with your fears. If you are serious about getting rid of your fears and lead a more rewarding life free of fears, then you need to take care of this step before you can face or overcome your fear. When I found the source of my fear I was able to understand how irrational my fear was. I found out that when I was about 3 years old, I was kicked by one of the horses on the family farm and was out of commission for a few weeks.

Recognizing that triggers of your fears will help you either control, reduce, or fight them. Regardless of the type of fear you have, there is always a source. One approach to overcoming your fears is to take the time to write down your fears and their level of intensity. Then, add a note about environmental, emotional, or other factors that trigger that fear. This may help you trace the source of your fear. Look not only at external triggers but also consider internal triggers. Was there something in your past that created this emotional response? It is basically as simple as asking yourself, “Why am I afraid?”! So I asked that question and realized that every time I saw a horse I had an unconscious flashback to my childhood. Once I realized what was happening I was able to start to take control of my emotional state.

Another significant reason why determining the cause of your concern is of fundamental is that it empowers you to assess whether it is something that you can handle and control on your own, or whether you need expert help. In my case with my fear of horses I was able to take control of myself, but sometimes it is better to get help.

If you want further success in mastering your worries, then you need to take the lead so you can get individual help for whatever fears or concerns that drain you. Here are tips to get you started on the right track:

•                  Remain positive. Fears that produce negative impact are also triggered by negative thoughts and outlook on life. Therefore, you must try to sweep aside those adverse thoughts from your consciousness to stop yourself from feeling sad.

•                  Communicate with your internal self. There is no character who understands your concerns than you do. So, you need to build knowledge about your fears by knowing them and splitting them down into more manageable parts.

•                  Assess your fears. Some concerns are unreasonable and often reside in the subconscious of the person instead of actual reality.

The importance of learning how to overcome your fears is rather obvious. No one wants to live their lives in constant worry or fear, no matter how intense it may be. An anxiety-free life is one that provides more opportunity for growth and liberates you.

Here are techniques that I tried and worked for me, you can try them if you want to find relief from your fears or totally eliminate them:

*Visualization

*Gather facts

*Get professional help

Visualization

Take time each day to find a place where you can be isolated and be able to concentrate. Your objective is to move to a low-stress position where you have power over your fear, instead of the opposite. Imagine your fear as a concrete object that you destroy. You will never realize how it is able to calm you down. I did this first by viewing pictures of horses, and then I started visiting horses that were at country fairs and over time I was able to be around horses without uncontrolled fear taking over me.

Gather Facts

Most fears are caused by the unknown or people's inability to have control over a given situation. When you are experiencing certain types of fear, you need to look at the truth of the circumstances and find the knowledge that you need. The more data the less stressed you become, because you always know you can handle the stress. Once I was aware of the facts and found out that up until and even I was kicked, I loved horses. It was not until I was away from them for about 2 years that the fear took over.

Professional Help

If you are one of those people who doesn’t use or perform self-talk or confront their fears head-on, then it is best to seek professional help. A professional will start by assessing your fears and then suggest techniques that you can employ to combat those fears. Overcoming fears is often a long process, so don't expect to get rid of all your fears (if you have many) at once. It took me about 5 years to overcome my fear and to actually like being around horses again.

Some more money saving ideas

Regardless of the time in history and no matter what the current state of the economy, no matter what the current trends are, no matter what the unemployment rate is or where interest rates are, some money-saving ideas always work and stay true.

Big changes come from small steps and if you determine to put even one of these many savings secrets into place, you will see a big change in your life. The great Albert Einstein once said, “It takes a genius to see the obvious.” What he meant by that is that sometimes the simpler things in life are the most powerful ... but because they are so obvious, we tend to ignore them, and not let them work for us.

One of the most powerful money-making ideas is this: keep a daily diary of everything you spend. Go to the dollar store, buy a little book, and carry it with you wherever you go. Write down every penny – every single penny - you spend. It’s just as simple as that.

There is something incredibly powerful about writing down each of your expenditures. It makes the flow of money through your life more realistic and exacting. It shows you simply and clearly just exactly where you are spending your money, on what and why. Once you know this, it becomes much easier to control your spending. You will feel empowered with self-control and this will encourage saving.

Many people who have taken up this practice have not only learned something about themselves, which they never before understood, but they are often astounded by the simplicity of the lesson learned.

A daily expense log can help you achieve the insight and clarity you need to realize control of their finances. That’s what a simple spending record will do for you - it will give you much needed control over your spending, and thus your financial life. There may be nothing but a 75-cent notebook and a ballpoint pen between your life of financial struggle and financial freedom.

Stop deficit spending! We all know how our government has been creating debt—spending more money than our country takes in. It’s called deficit spending. Well, don’t do the same! The same rules apply to you and me. Using those nasty little plastic cards is a debt making system. Today, the average credit card holder is carrying around $8,000 in plastic debt!

Spending yourself into such debt with a credit card is certainly very easy, as many of you already know. The reason is psychological. When you give that clerk a credit card, it’s just not the same as handing over a stack of green dollar bills. Would you as readily hand over a pocketful of ten-dollar bills as toss a credit card across a counter? Probably not.

Credit cards put you in debt and keep you there. Even for people with good incomes, paying your credit card debt down to zero can be amazingly difficult. In addition, make no bones about it; credit card debt will sap your financial strength just as readily as an open vein will deplete your physical body of its very life force. Using a credit card by choice can quickly turn to use it for need. Once you get to that point, you are already in trouble and it becomes time to get some help.

There is no secret in freeing yourself from the credit card game. You must take out a pair of scissors today, cut your cards in half, and begin paying them back, slowly but surely. Be sure to always pay more than the minimum amount due, even if it is only $10 more.

Once you stop adding to the debt, even small payments will eventually, add up. You can get out of debt if you are patient and self-disciplined. Once your cards are history, you must adopt a strict pay-as-you-go policy. Instead of buying now and paying later, save now and buy when you have the full amount. This is key to being able to save.

Once again, stopping credit-oriented consuming is one of the most powerful financial tools available to anyone today. Why not pick up this tool and use it for yourself?

Saving for an emergency

Financial or other emergencies happen even in retirement, if your plan for money for your next emergency is to scoop up the change that falls between the cushions, you might want to come up with a plan to add to that stash. It is always a good idea to have a little extra green for the lean times. Rainy days could be just around the corner. Rainy day funds become necessary! Here are some very clever and painless ways to put aside some money now!

Put aside a large envelope, cookie tin, coffee jar or something similar. At the end of every week, throw a couple of dollars aside. By the end of your first month, you should have some extra cash put aside to have a nice start on an emergency fund. The idea of doing this is don’t count it or spend it. Place it somewhere that is hidden away. Put it somewhere that you won’t be tempted to dip into it. This kind of money really adds up!

The next time you treat yourself or your family to a meal out, tip yourself! Just as you go to tip the waitress 15 to 20 percent, put the same amount aside for yourself. When you get home, stash it away in your cookie jar. Every time you go through a fast food window, put a dollar away for that cookie jar, too!

Take advantage of that cash back option! Next time you make a purchase using your debit card, ask for a small amount of cash back. Instead of spending it, stash it away in your cookie jar! Chances are you won’t even miss that extra $1, $2 or $5 bill and come an emergency time, you will notice how the amount has piled up.

Next time you pay off that big-ticket item like a new car or tuition, continue to make the payments to yourself! Set up a savings account and each month slip the ghost payment into it. Watch as it builds nicely.

Consider joining a Christmas club. You will save a lot of money. Each year you put aside a bit of money and place it into a hamper program. Then, as Christmas rolls around you don’t need to scramble looking for Christmas cheer to share with your family. Your hamper arrives filled to the brim with all kinds of seasonal goodies that you paid for over the previous year. You can easily put aside $50 each year towards your emergency fund this way and you and your family will enjoy a hassle-free Christmas.

Sign up for a grocery shopping membership card. At the bottom of your store receipt, you will see a print out that states how much you save each week. It really adds up. You can easily save an average of $15 on each weekly grocery trip. Add that amount, each week, to your savings cookie jar.

Did you enjoy your tax refund this year? Sure you did, we all did. That’s because of the new tax laws. Many people will have a little extra money coming their way. Decide to deposit that extra money right away into your savings account or cash it and then stash it.

If you are a responsible spender, take out a credit card that rewards your loyalty. When you pay off the bill every month, use a card that promises a cash reward and bank the money. Use your reward credit card smartly and you could end up with a very nice windfall for your rainy-day fund.

Put aside a large mouthed jar in the kitchen. It is very likely that your parents and grandparents had one. At the end of each workday simply empty your pockets or clean out your change purse. All the change goes into the jar. Who wants to carry around all that dead weight, anyway? Your spare change adds up a lot faster than you think. While you are at it, add at least one bill to your change jar at the end of each week. Aim for a $20!

Is it time to give up that nasty smoking habit? Imagine the money you will save! If you are not quite ready to quit at least cut back by half. Put the savings each day into your change jar and watch it overflow!

Convert to a coin-operated laundry. Keep a jar on your washer and dryer and every time you go to do a load of laundry, slip in a coin or two. This adds up month by month.

If you yearn to lose some weight, try rewarding yourself the cost of the item that you do without each day. Put that money into your change jar. You will look great and you will be saving for a rainy day! 

Setting up an emergency fund

As we moved through life, many of us set up or thought about setting up an emergency fund to look after any serious financial setbacks that might occur. As Boomers, we went through a number of recessions, high interest and other obstacles, and as we retire we still have to be cautious of our spending and savings.

I think that most of us at one time or another has been hit with a serious money crisis and we find yourself scrambling around for emergency money. Here are some ideas on how to assess your situation and get back on your feet.

If you have a money problem or a financial setback you can be sure that there may also be a crippling emotional setback. Whenever a money emergency hits, it will be your ability to deal with the individual pitfalls that will be useful. We know that stress will tend to accumulate and make your life much more difficult to cope.  

Being Calm is the First Key to Managing a Money Emergency. You will not be so overwhelmed when you can calmly and rationally look at each individual problem as it arises. Staying calm must take center stage. You must NEVER allow yourself the luxury of panic. There is no one there for you to just take over. You are all you have.

The more you panic, the less effective you will be. You need to keep a very clear head to be able to sit down and come up with an appropriate plan. It is only when you are at your most calm that you will be prepared to get to where you need to be and then overcome.

At even the first hint of a money emergency, it’s important not to act right away. If you do you will inevitably make a mistake! First, before you can manage your finances again, you have to first manage your emotions. You absolutely must regain your balance before you can even begin to plan.

If your money emergency demands that you act quickly, think first about seeking the advice of a debt counsellor, money coach or financial planner. Whenever possible think about seeking out the aid of a financially perceptive friend or family member who can help you to come to a clearer perspective.

Remember the old adage that “two heads are always better than just one!” You won’t need to make a major cash investment if you’re strapped. Look for a planner who will give you a one-hour consultation for $150. Often times this will be all you will need to securely turn the corner.

Before an emergency hits here are some everyday ways to save and set up an emergency fund. Some ways will require some sacrifice, while others will require little before thinking. The point is to be forever mindful of saving those pennies and before you know it, you will have saved up a tidy sum.

·       Spend less money than you earn each week.

·       Seek out a higher paying job.

·       Keep your job skills sharp and up-to-date so that when a new opportunity comes up, you will be on your toes and first in line.

·       If you must use credit cards/cut up those you can do without.

·       If you must use credit cards, pay them all down in full each month.

·       If you have credit card debt at high rates, consolidate at once.

·       Lower your expenses, one by one.

·       Forego purchasing non-essential items.

·       Find cheaper insurance rates/then switch over.

·       Use coupons to shop with.  Don’t purchase without a discount coupon.

·       Wait for things to first go on sale before buying. Take advantage of catalogue saving certificates.

·       Don’t buy an item just because it is on sale.

·       Buy generic or non-name brand merchandise as much as possible.

·       Wait for prices to fall to a discounted rate before buying (applies especially to electronics items).

·       If you do eat out, buy gift certificates for half price meals.

·       Do more stay in activities at home.

·       Invest the money you save to earn even more.

·       Create a plan to save $200 each month (or as much as you can manage.)  Never miss the monthly savings payment to yourself and try to find ways to increase it.

·       Don’t spend money just because you have it.

·       Find an interesting hobby to occupy your time and stop you from spending money.

·       Find a hobby that you can turn into earnings.

·       Go on a sensible diet and lose weight. You will save money on food, look and feel better, and your long-term health care costs should fall dramatically.

·       Learn how to manage your finances by reading financial publications.

·       Increase the amount of money you earn through a second job, promotion, new job, investments, etc.

·       Paying down your debt is also a way to save money (it saves you from a debt payment and brings you closer to having money to invest).

·       Switch to lower your telephone bill.

·       Lower your cable bill by deleting pay channels or switch to a streaming service.

·       Be patient when bargain shopping.

·       Start saving money today! Don’t give up -- put just $10 aside, today!