Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Golf Wisdon ;-)

My thanks to Jim for these:

1. Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.~Grantland

2. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.~John Updike

3. It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.~Robert Lynd

4. If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. ~Horace G. Hutchinson

5. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.~ Gardner Dickinson

6. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.~Sam Snead

7 Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.~William Wordsworth

8. If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.~Dean Martin

9. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up.~Tommy Bolt

10. Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one. ~Bishop Sheen

11. I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.~ Arnold Palmer

12. My handicap? Woods and irons. ~Chris Codiroli

13. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top.~Pete Dye

14. I'm hitting the woods just great, but having a terrible time getting out of them!~Buddy Hackett

15. The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf.~Billy Graham

16. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.~Jack Lemmon

17. It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. ~Mark Twain

18. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.~Harry Vardon

19. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at either of them.~Raymond Willis

20. May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters or small round sandy regions.~Ben Hogan

21. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle.~All Us Hackers

22. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.~George Deukmejian

AND FINALLY................

23. Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.~Lee Trevino

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