TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
MARIA:       Here it is.
TEACHER:    Correct.  Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS:        Maria.
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TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:  You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:     K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L'
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.  
(I  Love this kid)
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TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:    H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:   What are you talking about?
DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.  
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TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:     Me!
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TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:   Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.  
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TEACHER:     Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE:       I  is...
TEACHER:     No, Millie...... . Always say, 'I  am.'
MILLIE:       All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'      
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TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.   Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:      Because George still had the axe in his hand...    
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TEACHER:    Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:     No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.  
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TEACHER:     Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE  :      No, sir. It's the same dog.  
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TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:       A teacher
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PASS  IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE  LAUGH!
LAUGHTER  IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!
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