Friday, February 14, 2014

What boomer men want, what boomer women want.

A few days ago, I talked about getting in the same old rut and how to get out of it. In that vein, and since it is Valentines day, I thought I would talk about how women and men of my generation see relationships.

 I recently read two articles on relationships one from a women’s perspective and one from a man’s. The articles make for interesting reading for single boomers out there of both sexes, as well as for younger people. The man’s list is his own, according to the article, I have friends that are single and I asked them about the list, I have put in bold what they agree with on the list. Take a look and compare and then ask yourself how many of these traits your current partner has, if they have a lot, your same old same old is great, if they don't have a lot of what you want, then consider making a decision to move on. Life is short, you deserve to be happy 

Life is a work in progress, isn't it? We learn from our experiences and hopefully, in the later rounds, know which punches to pull. With this in mind, we asked our post-50 women friends what traits they wanted in their next lover. How many are on your list?

What Men want
What women want
A lifetime promise I'll never be asked to go to the mall. I'd prefer a root canal
Laughs at my jokes.
A woman who laughs at my jokes, even to be polite. It helps me feel she gets me.
Makes me laugh
An in-shape heartthrob with exercise discipline. I have it, but still need an occasional push out the door
Thinks my dog is cute, even when she wets her muzzle in the water dish and bee-lines for his groin
A woman imbued with youthful enthusiasm.
Doesn't try to boss my kids around
A "juicy" honey, with a sexual edge, who knows that Boomer sex is less about piston-pounding and more about passion
Gets why I cry when I hear "Sunrise, Sunset
A sweetheart, who wakes up with a smile.
Knows "Do these jeans make my butt look big?" is a trick question.
A woman interested in my point of view. Just because we don't agree, doesn't mean either of us is stupid.
Talks to my eyes, not my boobs
A smart lover. My heart beats fast when I meet a bright woman.
Would never suggest I should exercise more
A woman, with a sense of personal style, a leader not a follower.
Responds with "You color your hair?" every time I say I'm going to have it colored. Every time
A lover with joie de vivre, who knows what that means.
Never listens to Rush Limbaugh. Ever.
A sweetheart who goes to bed exhausted from actually living life.
Listens to Howard Stern, but knows not to quote him
I'm not an ATM. Boomer women in particular should have a sense of equality, and equal means equal.
Makes me feel loved, but not owned.
A lover who isn't still angry with her ex-husband, last boyfriend, or men in general. I don't want to be an angry woman's piƱata
Baby talks to the dog when no one is home (the dog confirms it).
A woman, with an emotional vocabulary. I get that you're pissed off, but I need to know where that's coming from.
Understands plumbing, both mine and the sink's.
A Bohemian-heart, who knows that happiness really is possible.
Assumes he is meeting my plane at the airport.
I love to cook, and I appreciate a woman who's cool with cleaning up.
Always drives, always pays and never brings up doing either
An unconditionally supportive partner.
Wants to show me places that he thinks I'll love and more than half of them aren't sports stadiums.
A sweetie who likes to rock to the oldies, can still boogey, and isn't self-conscious doing it.
Would rather hang out with me than the guys, but knows that I'll miss him more if he goes.
A savvy traveler who knows that 10 days in Paris is way cooler than 10 cities in 10 days, and that the Musee D'Orsay is more interesting than Disney World Paris.
Knows that real men volunteer.
An egalitarian woman that doesn't consider herself elite just because she can afford a better haircut.
Isn't a bystander in life.

The list  for what women want was written by Ann Brenoff is a Senior Writer for the Huffington Post, based in Los Angeles. She previously worked at the Los Angeles Times, where she wrote the nationally syndicated Hot Property column about celebrity real estate. She is working on a book about life in Malibu. Ann can be reached at

Ken Solin,  wrote the list about what men want--he stipulates that it is his list not other men of my generation, but my friends and I see some of the traits we would like as well.  Ken has worked with men to help them move beyond the issues that limit their lives. Both men and women follow Ken since his work deals with issues that affect both, particularly in relationships. His Facebook Page is

His website, offers articles and a documentary about men and relationships, and his new book, Act Like a Man is available on Amazon  in print or Kindle versions, and on Barnes and Noble

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