Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Can you say No with confidence?

You know those times when you feel pressured into doing something for a friend? Maybe it's to rearrange your schedule, or maybe it's giving up your weekend to help them 

The pressure from these kinds of situations can be pretty intense. You don't want to lose the friend, you believe that you don't want to piss them off. 

So you "cave" and put yourself out because of the fear. 

Some could call this extreme sacrifice right? That's just your willingness to go "above and beyond" and do what's best for others.  

I don't think serving someone is supposed to make you feel the way this does. This is a feeling of obligation fueled by the fear of a huge stick of losing your friend. You feel that you "have" to do it or... 

This is a fake choice. This is something setup by your mind and your programming. Those two things trick you into believing you're stuck in a no win situation where the only way out is to suffer and help your friend and not be true to what you want or need to do for yourself. 

Have you ever said "NO" to someone with confidence? You know what happens when you deliver that word and it's clear that you mean it? 

What happens is that they accept it. 

What happens after that is that they often develop a greater level of respect for you than they have for all of the "Yes" men and women around them. But it really doesn't matter. Because if you're looking for respect from someone OTHER than yourself, then you've already lost. You don't need that. You can't need that.

If you do not need, then you cannot lose. And if you cannot lose, then you'll start to see some of the fake choices I mention above for what they really are... only a symptom of your fear. 

Do you really need that? Aren't you already carrying around enough crap? How about you drop this piece of baggage and move on to something that will actually help you have a better life? 

Today seems like a great day to start. 

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