I was sent this by one of my high school friends, I added to it and thought I would share1.
1. I was in the bathroom, putting on my makeup, under the watchful eyes of my young granddaughter, as I'd done many times before. After I applied my lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 68. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last, she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
· "What's it about?" he
asked.
· "I don't know," she
replied. "I can't read."
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I really think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
9.
When
my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine
says I'm 4 to 6." (WOW! I really like this one -- it says I'm only
'38'!)
10. A second grader came home from school
and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make
babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to
keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said. "How do you make
babies?" "It's simple,"
replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
11. Children's Logic: "Give me a
sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote:
"The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad
aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she
asked. "Sure," said the young
boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
12. A grandfather was delivering his
grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in
the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started
discussing the dog's duties.
· "They use him to keep crowds
back," said one child.
· "No," said another.
"He's just for good luck."
· A third child brought the argument to
a close. “They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire
hydrants."
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his
grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and
whenever we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her
visit, we take her back to the airport."
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth!
He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as
him!
15. My Grandparents are funny, when they
bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.My grandpa is like a
walking encyclopedia. Whenever I ask him a question, he starts with, "Back
in my day..." and goes on for hours!
16. Grandma's cooking is legendary in our
family. She adds a pinch of love, a dash of nostalgia, and a whole lot of
secret ingredients that she refuses to share with anyone. No wonder her food
always tastes like pure magic!
17. Whenever I visit my grandparents,
they always insist on showing me their collection of ancient artifacts. I
swear, half of them are just old TV remotes and VHS tapes, but they treat them
like priceless treasures. It's adorable!
18. One day, my grandpa tried to impress
me by telling me about the time he jumped out of an airplane. I asked him if he
had a parachute, and he replied, "Parachute? Who needs a parachute when
you have a good sense of humor? It cushions the fall!"
19. Whenever I go shopping with my
grandma, she has this superpower to sniff out all the best deals and discounts.
It's like she has a sixth sense for sales. I'm convinced she should start a
masterclass on "The Art of Saving Money"!
20. I asked my little cousin what she
likes most about our grandparents. She replied, "They have unlimited hugs
and kisses. It's like they have a secret supply hidden in their pockets. I
don't know how they do it, but it's awesome!"
21. My grandpa loves to tell jokes, even
if they're a little cheesy. But you know what? It's the delivery that counts.
He could make a knock-knock joke sound like the funniest thing ever. I think he
missed his true calling as a stand-up comedian!
22. Grandma has a knack for turning any
ordinary day into an adventure. Whether it's a spontaneous picnic in the living
room or a treasure hunt in the backyard, she knows how to make every moment
special. Who needs Disneyland when you have Grandma?
23. Whenever my grandparents babysit me,
they always have a surprise waiting for me. It could be a homemade fort, a new
board game, or even a pet goldfish. They're like the superheroes of fun and
excitement!
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