Addictions

The following was adapted by an email written by David Kekich of www.MaxLife.org  

You almost certainly have at least one Addiction. And the temporary comfort it gives you could very well cost you your life.

Almost all of us are unknowingly addicts. When we use that A word, it generally conjures up images of someone struggling with hard to shake drug, alcohol, or tobacco habits. 

But most addictions ar­­e much more subtle… and seemingly harmless.

First, exactly what is an addiction? All addictions seem to boil down to one thing – losing your ability to abstain.

That’s acutely obvious with alcohol addiction for example.

Sure, alcoholism is a serious issue, leading to ruining personal and professional lives. And of course, it could be a serious life shortener. On the other hand, we all know of functional alcoholics who manage successful careers. But the rest of their lives can be disastrous.

Let’s look at seemingly innocuous “habits” that are in fact addictions that can ruin lives and careers, robbing us of our chances to achieve the dreams, hopes and aspirations that are usually dividing lines between happiness and unhappiness.

Between success and failure.

And often between wellness and death.

These addictions can be anything you surrender to:

Sleeping in. Sugar. Second helpings. Passively watching TV. Skipping workouts. Negative thinking. Physical laziness. Mental laziness. Living in the past. Accepting things at face value. Reluctance to say “no.” Going with the flow.

We can go on and on with this exercise. Sometimes addictions are things that seem virtuous such as working unreasonably long hours… but while ignoring your family… also known as “workaholism.”

All addictions contribute to chronic stress. (And chronic stress kills.)

 That’s just one-way addictions shorten your life… while extending your periods of sickness and suffering.

 It is important to manage your lifestyle with healthy longevity as your target. I used to annoy some friends who lived for instant gratification and almost universally told me: “You have to die from something.”

 My usual retort was that their habits typically lead to years of sickness before killing them. I gave up on trying to convince them that reversing their course could lead to open-ended healthy lifespans.

 Now, I don’t bother broaching the subject with them. In fact, I rarely speak with most of them at all anymore. We drifted apart since I get satisfaction from relationships with people like you who place a high value on life, wellness, and longevity.

 That’s energizing. Trying to convince anyone to do something that simply does not resonate with them drains your energy… and chews up your time.

 So it’s YOUR addictions I want to address. Mainly the life-shortening ones like poor diet choices, lack of exercise, stress, and more.

 Don’t expect a free lunch though. You will need to work to survive those sneaky addictions and trade short term gratification leading to death for long term satisfaction and life.

Ever lost track of time?

Did you ever lose your sense of time, and become so disoriented you had no idea what day or time it really was?   My wife came into the living room at 9:00 pm after lying down with a headache at about 7:30 pm. She said to me, how could you let me sleep in so late, we have lots to do today. I looked at her and said, "It is still in the evening, you have only been asleep for about an hour." It took her a few minutes to realise that she had not slept through the night. We laughed, but I wondered if this happens to many of us.

I found out that as we age, our capacity to judge time accurately diminishes. Most people begin to perceive time as passing more swiftly than is actually the case.

This for many of us is a minor annoyance, but for some, this could be a warning sign of dementia.  There are five warning signs of dementia and one of them is Losing Track of Time or Place – Dates, seasons and the general passing of time becomes difficult to keep track of for a person with dementia. If an event is not happening immediately, he or she may have trouble understanding it. This is the category of the most renowned dementia-related complication — forgetting where they are and/or how they got there.

So, if a person suffers from a sense of time loss, and it continues then seeking medical attention is a good idea, but if you fall asleep and wake up disoriented and out of time, once in a while, put it down to having a people's moment.

Have you ever asked this question?

Have you ever taken a look at the things in your life and ask the following question:


Does this improve the quality of my life?


Right now, think of three things you could add to your life that would improve your quality of life.


Perhaps something like:

1. Exercising 
2. Meditating / praying 
3. Spending meaningful time with family or friends 
4. Journaling 
5. Reading more 

Got three things? Good.


Now think of three things you could remove from your life that would improve your quality of life.


Got 'em? Excellent!


Why not pick one in each category and try it for a week? It doesn't have to be a permanent change - just do it for a week and notice the difference.

Inspiration

In your quest for having, doing, and being ever more,  should you ever need a little inspiration, simply think of  all you now have, all you now do, and all you now are.

How long does it take to create a habit?

When he became interested in how long it takes for us to form or change a habit, psychologist Jeremy Dean found himself bombarded with the same magic answer from popular psychology websites and advice columns: 21 days. But that one size formula is not correct.

 Dean, whose training is in research, explores the actual science of habits through the existing empirical evidence on habit-formation. He cites one influential study that gives a more concrete answer to the elusive question of how long it takes for a new habit to take root:

In a study carried out at University College London, 96 participants were asked to choose an everyday behavior that they wanted to turn into a habit. They all chose something they didn't already do that could be repeated every day; many were health-related: people chose things like "eating a piece of fruit with lunch" and "running for 15 minutes after dinner." Each of the 84 days of the study, they logged into a website and reported whether or not they'd carried out the behavior, as well as how automatic the behavior had felt.

How long did it actually take for people to form a habit? Dean writes:

The simple answer is that, on average, across the participants who provided enough data, it took 66 days until a habit was formed. As you might imagine, there was considerable variation in how long habits took to form depending on what people tried to do. 

What's more, when researchers plotted the results, they found a curved relationship between habit and automaticity – meaning that the earlier repetitions were most beneficial for establishing a habit, and gains gradually dwindled over time. Dean explains:

It's like trying to run up a hill that starts out steep and gradually levels off. At the start you're making great progress upwards, but the closer you get to the peak, the smaller the gains in altitude with each step.

Indeed, the slowing down of gains was especially pronounced among some participants, to whom habit-formation simply didn't seem to come naturally – so much so, that the researchers were surprised by how slowly some habits seemed to form:

Although the study only covered 84 days, by extrapolating the curves, it turned out that some of the habits could have taken around 254 days to form – the better part of a year!

What this research suggests is that 21 days to form a habit is probably right, as long as all you want to do is drink a glass of water after breakfast. Anything harder is likely to take longer to become a really strong habit, and, in the case of some activities, much longer.

While the finding may at first appear disheartening, it's actually oddly assuring in reminding us that habit, like genius, is merely a matter of doggedness and "deliberate practice" – in fact, this brings us to the lesser-cited yet pivotal second half of Aristotle's famous dictum:"Excellence … is not an act but a habit." 

Look to the Future

If you dwell on your past mistakes your creativity can crash to a grinding halt and you will be unable to move forward. Losing is good if you interpret it correctly.

Demonstration Example: A friend of mine told me how a number of years ago, an acquaintance of his, approached him with a spectacular lead about a stock that was certain to triple in price in the next few weeks. The price was $7.45 a share. So, despite his misgivings he bought 200 shares. From that day the stock dropped. Finally eighteen months later he decided to cut his losses and sell.

He sold the stock for a huge loss at a grand total of $413. He could have let this one bad experience drive him from ever investing in the stock market again. However, this wise man explained, he was glad to have learned such valuable lessons.

It taught him:

1. Ignore the guy who wants to give a hot tip.
2. Check into a company carefully before buying.
3. Sell if it starts dropping too much.

Education of the Highest Merit

Don't regard mistakes as mistakes. It ceases to be a mistake and loses its power to hold you back if you can learn to be glad that you've not failed but learned valuable lessons in life. That attitude will help you to build future successes.

Lost a job? You probably weren't suited, so take the time out to decide what you really want to do. Built a business and then it crashed? Perhaps you don't like running your own business. Can't sell a product? Look for the reason and then act. Either try out other ways to sell it or scrap the product and sell a different one.

Blessed is he who is not discouraged by mistakes. Blessed is he who is glad he makes mistakes. Winning - or losing - is a state of mind.